December 4 -2000 - All the Rest

For whatever high reasons, men of prayer must knock and knock -- sometimes with bleeding knuckles in the dark.

- George A. Buttrick, Prayer 1942

It is not well for a man to pray cream, and live skim milk.

- Hariot Ward Beecher Life Thoughts 1858

Pray as if everything depended on God, and work as if everything depended upon man.

- Francis Cardinal Spellman

There is nothing that makes us love a man so much as praying for him. ... By considering yourself as an advocate with God for your neighbors and acquaintances, you would never find it hard to be at peace with them yourself.

- William Law, A Serious Call, 1728

The fewer words the better prayer.

- Martin Luther

Prayer is a confession of one's own unworthiness and weakness.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Today's Word – VITROLIC

vit·ri·ol·ic adjective. 1. Of, similar to, or derived from a vitriol. 2. Bitterly scathing; caustic: vitriolic criticism.

"If you are not good, none is good"-- those little words may give a terrific meaning to responsibility, may hold a vitriolic intensity for remorse.

George Eliot
Middlemarch

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact

For the Advent season there will be a change on this section of the DM.
There will be a trivia question related to Christmas (not Biblically related)
The Christmas fact will appear on the Advent page - along with a Christmas Inspiration and a Christmas Quotation.


Christmas Trivia

In this section there will be a brief question about the secular side of Christmas. The answer will appear the following day.

TODAY'S QUESTION

An important Florida fort was constructed on December 25, 1837, as a defense during the Seminole War. What appropriate name was given to the fort?

Previous Question and Answer:

Question: In what year did Christmas officially become a national holiday?

Answer: In 1890; it had been celebrated before that.

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

smile6.gif (2723 bytes) The Smart Gorilla

A scientist has had remarkable success teaching a gorilla to talk, and decides to introduce the ape to other forms of human social interaction, so he takes him to his local golf course.

At the first tee, the gorilla asks "So, what do I do?"

The scientist points into the distance and explains "You see that green way over there with the flag? You have to hit the ball towards it"

So the gorilla belts the ball and it flies 440 yards straight onto the green, coming to a stop a few inches from the hole.

The scientist is stunned but carries on, taking 4 shots to reach the green himself.

When they get to the green, the gorilla asks "So, what do I do?"

The scientist points at the cup and says "Now you hit the ball into the cup"

"Why the heck didn't you tell me that back on the tee?" asks the gorilla.

From: David E. Rinke II, Funny Pages Mailing List

The Painting

Mrs. White decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs. White. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

From: John Nunley, Dust off your Funny Bone Mailing List

This is a rerun but still worth hearing

A long time ago, in the city of Munich, the inhabitants were having a big problem. There was a massive increase in the number of dogs residing in the city. Not only were thousands of dogs, but they were BIG dogs.... real hounds to be exact. Anyway, the people of Munich bunched together and decided they would solve the problem by driving all the dogs out of the city and into the hills. So one day, they all grouped together and forced all the hounds out of the city and into the hills, thereby solving their problem.

However, this action proved disastrous for the neighboring town of Lieden. Lieden was a leader in the manufacturing of paper and the big paper mills provided work for many. As the hounds in the hills began to get hungry, they descended upon the small town of Lieden and were soon running a riot! All the shops were broken into as the dogs searched for food. As Lieden was much smaller than Munich, they didn't have the manpower to force the hounds out of the town and all the inhabitants decided to go to Munich and complain. As they were leaving their homes, suddenly a tremendous noise came from up on the hill, where the paper-mill was located. As all the residents were in the process of evacuating, they were puzzled as to who was running the mills. Suddenly, an old man spoke up, claiming he knew the answer. He took a deep breath and said....

"The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"

From: "Funny Pages Mailing List" funny-pages@plato.ens.gu.edu.au

Did you hear about the seminarian who argued that Noah had the best hearing in the Bible?

When asked to back up his claim, he pointed out that it was God Himself who insisted that Noah *herd* everything.

A car service mechanic was overheard saying to one of his customers. 'I couldn't fix your breaks, so I made your horn louder.'

The Office of Personnel Management for the Federal Government today announced the 2001 holiday schedule for all Federal Employees. There will be two less holidays in D.C. next year. Halloween and Thanksgiving have been cancelled. The witch is moving to New York and she's taking the turkey with her.

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Looking for more quotations?
Past quotes from the Daily Miscellany can be found here!

Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.

THE REST – December 4

Today's Quotations Prayer

Today's Word – VITROLIC

Today's Fact