1. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

2. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. Always remember you are unique; just like everyone else.

5. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

6. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

7. I used to have a handle on life. Then it broke.

8. Don't take life too seriously. You're not going to get out alive.

9. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every moment of it.

10. Better to be understood a little than be misunderstood a lot.

11. When there's a will, I want to be in it.

12. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

13. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

14. 90% of all statistics are made up.

15. A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

16. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

17. A day not wasted is a day wasted.

18. A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and who won't change the subject.

19. Its better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

20. All generalizations are false, including this one.

21. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

22. Everytime I've built character, I've regretted it.

23. It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end.

24. You can't have everything - where would you put it?