Fluffy was my favorite stuffed animal as a child. He was a white monkey with arms that dangled at his side and had the ability to effortlessly touch his toes. His protruding snout was accented by a black button nose that was the center of the black stitching that made up his enduring smile. I used to dress him up in a one-sie that I had worn as a baby. It was white with yellow and blue accents and it had booties to match. It was a pretty good fit, although his right bootie had a tendency to slip off on more than one occasion. Fluffy went everywhere with me. Although I do remember that he was a gift, I can’t remember when or where exactly I got him. He just always seemed to be there in my memory.

There weren’t many places that Fluffy didn’t accompany me to, but he was always my brave companion that comforted me on those numerous, monotonous trips to the hospital. When the doctors told me that they were going to have to do another procedure, Fluffy was always scared for me so that I didn’t have to be afraid. He was always there to cover my eyes so that I didn’t have to see the needles and the mean doctors and nurses. And when I got old enough that I hurt Mom’s hand when I squeezed it, Fluffy always offered me his hand, which I bit on so as not to scream. He usually smelled like fabric softener because Mom was always washing him to get that awful hospital smell out of him, but it was always lingering there, deep in his fur.

When he was still new, Fluffy had soft, flowing fur, hence his name. However, after years of hospital visits, his fur became matted and not quite so soft anymore. But, even after he had lost his youth, he still made an excellent companion and an even better pillow. I was comforted by the feel of him on my wet cheek, and more than a few times he was used as a tissue to wipe away the persisting tears that fell from my eyes. Though Fluffy has been retired to a box somewhere at Mom’s house, without his right bootie, I still think of him at times. When I look back, I don’t see all of the pain that Fluffy endured for me. Instead I remember the constant companionship and love that Fluffy so generously gave a lost and scared little girl during those painful times.