This Girl's Life
Down So Low
After nearly twenty minutes of crying, Gwen had calmed down enough to speak. With a slight hitch in her voice, Gwen told Kiki all the details of what had happened between Neil and herself. Then she had to convince Kiki not to go over to Neil's house a beat him up for what he had done. The two friends decided to drown their sorrows in double fudge ice cream.
Sitting at the table, Gwen and Kiki ate ice cream, vowing not to stop until they were sick.
"This is going to make me fat," Gwen said.
"It's better than a hangover though," Kiki reminded her.
"Says who?" Gwen retorted. "You know, what Neil did probably would not hurt this much if my life was different."
"How do you mean?"
"Look at me," Gwen began. "I'm twenty-seven years old, I'm single, I hate my job and now that Neil and I are .... Well, I don't even know what we were, but now we're not even that anymore. My life is a living nightmare."
"Well, you still have me and Joe - we love you." Kiki tried to sound reassuring.
"Yeah, I know, but you know how life goes. Soon, you and Scott will want to spend more time alone than with us, and then Joe will find someone wonderful, and I'll be left all alone."
"Whoa," Kiki interrupted. "Scott and I are just friends."
"Sure," Gwen answered. "We all know where your friendship will lead - right down the aisle."
"Wait a minute, you're forgetting I've done that marriage thing before and I wasn't too thrilled. What makes you think I want to do it again?"
"That's my point," Gwen continued. "You've done it. You know how wonderful it can be - even if it didn't last that long the first time around. You have been in love and had the man adoring you. I've never had that. I'm beginning to think I never will."
Kiki sighed. She could understand how her friend felt. For a long time after her divorce was finalized, Kiki felt the same way. She felt as though she would never find true love, or even what she'd had with Josh again. Gwen had always been there to cheer her up and Kiki figured now was the time for her to return the favor.
"Gwen, you're only twenty-seven. You're still young, whether you want to believe it or not. Just because Neil was a jack-ass, doesn't mean that all men out there are the same. You're job isn't all that bad. I thought you liked what you did."
"I hate being some executives little go-for. I hate my job - there is absolutely no chance at advancement and all the men I meet around the office are all married and look at me as nothing more than a weekend fling they could probably get past their wives. It's like the only thing I have to really look forward to is spending time with you and Joe. And now that Scott has been brought into the group, you spend more time talking to him than anyone else."
"If you want, I can tell Scott to get lost for a while," Kiki offered, trying to comfort her friend.
"No, don't be silly. I think it's great that you and him get along so well. He's really good for you. It's just that lately, I've been seeing what you and him have and I want it."
"You know, I think that's the first time anyone has ever admitted to being jealous of something I had. That is really bizarre," Kiki said in an attempt to make her friend laugh.
After allowing herself to giggle, Gwen sighed and regained her melancholy expression. Kiki wasn't quite sure what she should do or say next. With a sense of optimism, she offered, "I can see if Scott has any single friends you might like. I think his older brother is single."
"Hey, I'm the only one that gets to play Love Connection with her friends. I don't want you setting me up with any one!"
"Now you know how I felt," Kiki answered her friend, laughing.
"I guess I just really want a change in my life. I feel so trapped in a routine. Now that Neil isn't a part of life, I feel like I should change everything, you know?"
"Yeah, I think I do," Kiki said. She gave her friend a sly look and asked, "Want to change your name?"
"NO!"
The two friends laughed. Kiki could see that Gwen was slowly starting to feel better about herself. She hoped her friend would see that she was actually a lot better off without Neil in her life. Maybe this was the perfect time for Gwen to change things around and tailor her life more to fit her dreams. The big question was how was she going to do it.
Gwen pushed her ice cream aside and sat back in chair. She had a ‘I-think-I'm-going-to-be- sick' look on her face and she sighed heavily. Kiki joined her friend in the sigh as she set aside her own bowl and rested a hand on her stomach.
"Well, whatever you decide to do, I'll support all the way," Kiki told her friend.
"I know," Gwen replied. "I think I should head home and cry myself to sleep."
"You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I mean, I don't mind staying up late."
"I know, but I need to get some sleep so I can be human at work tomorrow."
Gwen stood as did Kiki. They both slowly made their way toward the door. Kiki was worried about her friend but chose not to voice her opinions. She knew Gwen well enough to know her friend would not doing anything as serious as suicide without turning somewhere for help first. That knowledge came from experience. Gwen hugged and thanked her friend for listening and trying to comfort her. Kiki smiled and reminded Gwen that it was all just apart of her job.
With that said, Gwen made her exit. Kiki sighed as she watched the car pull away from the curb. After the taillights vanished around a corner, Kiki closed the door and headed to the kitchen to clean up a little before she went to bed.
Lunch At Charley's
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