Deep Depression
Part 4 in the series
by: hzeleyes



Disclaimer:I don't own the Joey, Dawson, Jen, or Pacey characters. They belong to Kevin Williamson and whoever else is lucky enough to be involved in that wonderful show. I don't own any of the other characters either, but I do own Lila. YAY! Send comments/feedback to hzeleyes23@aol.com.



Dawson lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been up since six that morning thinking about Joey and Lila. He liked both of them, but he knew he had to not show his feelings for one. Lila would be the obvious choice to keep quiet about, but he liked her a lot. He glanced at his clock and saw it was already nine. He had better get washed and dressed.

He remembered the night before, how he had walked Lila home. She had looked so beautiful in the moonlight, with the wind whipping her hair softly around her face. But then an image of Joey at the beauty pageant popped into his mind and he thought of how beautiful she was. He sighed, frustrated with himself and then got up.

Half an hour later he was ready and on his way to the video store for his shift. He knew Pacey was going to be there and wondered how he would act today. That was another thing bothering him; Pacey's behavior. Something that only Pacey could explain and wouldn't. Not to him a least. He had been getting closer to Joey. For a moment the thought of him even liking Joey passed through Dawson's mind, but he quickly rejected the idea. The two were just beginning to become friends. Joey would cringe at the thought of going out with him.

When he entered he saw Lila at the counter, talking to Pacey. They were laughing about something. He prayed Pacey hadn't told her about his "oompa loompa" nickname. But Jen had found out and she hadn't cared. Why is Jen in my mind all of a sudden? he wondered, but shook the thought out of his head.





"Hello," she said into the reciever.

"Jen, hi!" Cliff's cheerful voice boomed into her ear. "I wanted to tell you I had a great time last night."

Jen sighed to herself. "Yeah, Cliff it was a blast. Do you need anything, 'cause, uh, I'm kinda in the middle of something."

"Besides wanting to hear your beautiful voice? Actually I was hoping I could see your beautiful face tonight again, as in saying want to go out again?"

Jen bit her lower lip. She couldn't keep on using him like this anymore, but she did sort of like him. "Uh, well, I was hoping I can have a quiet night tonight. Just stay in and watch some TV maybe."

"That's cool. What time should I come to your place?"

"No, Cliff, I meant some quiet time alone. Just to relax. These past few weeks have been pretty tough."

"Oh." She could hear the hurt in his voice and she mentally kicked herself for doing this. "I understand. Some other time?"

"Definitely. I'll call you OK?"

"You'll call me. Yeah. That means leave me the hell alone. See you around Jenifer." He hung up the phone before Jen could say anything. Jen clicked OFF on the cordless and sat back down, putting her forehead on the table and knocking it gently.

She had hurt so many people in her life so far. When would she finally stop? She hurt her parents, she hurt Billy, she hurt her Grams, she hurt Dawson, she hurt Joey, she hurt Cliff now, and all the while she had been hurting herself as well.

"Jenifer! What are you doing?" Mrs. Ryan came in, grocerie bags in her arms. Jen looked up slowly. "Here, take these. I have some more at the front door."

Jen got up reluctantly and took the two bags that were filled to the brim. "I got you something," she smiled secretively and took out a small jewelry box and handed it to Jen. "I felt bad about what I said last night. You're right,this is OUR home now."

Jen smiled disbelievingly at her grandmother and opened the box. She took out a small silver ID bracelet. She squinted at what was written on it and sighed as she read: IN GOD I TRUST.

"Grams, I can't take it anymore. I don't believe in God, I don't want to go to church, and I don't want a bracelet that says I believe in God," Jen screamed. She threw the bracelet on the floor and ran out of the house, blocking out her grandmothers screams behind her.

She knew where she wanted to go; with who she wanted to be and ran that way.



"Nellie! For the ten millionth time, Forrest Gump does not go in the comedy section!" Dawson heard Pacey scream at the blond haired ditz who was popping her pink bubblegum loudly.

Dawson peeked out from the back and saw Nellie's face turning red. "How dare you!" she screeched so loud even Dawson winced, but Pacey didn't show any reaction. "I am going to have your loser ass fired for sure this time. I am calling my father right now. You pathetic creature, now you're going to pay." She went behind the counter and picked up the phone reciever, punching in the numbers so hard Dawson thought she would break the buttons.

After talking softly for a few minutes she gasped. "But Daddy! Well, he didn't just yell at me. He's been closing the place early just so he could go home. And he has poor Dawson doing his half of the work too. You know how Pacey Whitter is! Good, you've made the right decision. I love you Daddy." She hung up and turned to Pacey, who had been staring wide-eyed at her, with a smug expression on her face. "Go home. You can come back Thursday for your last paycheck."

"You can't do that!" he screamed. "You lied!"

She looked at him calmly and shrugged. "I just did do that and you screamed at me. Lying isn't half bad. Now go home so I don't have to see your ugly face untill school starts."

"You slutty-"

Just then Jen burst in the door, her hair wild and her face streaked with tears. "Dawson," she sobbed, "I need to talk to you!"



Look for other parts. I luv feedback so send some to me at hzeleyes23@aol.com. But I have to warn you, if you send me something that is nasty and degrading I will not bother to respond. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but don't curse at me. If you can give me some healthy criticism I'll try to improve whatever you feel needs to be improved.