That Old Feeling
Part Five in the Series
by: hzeleyes


Send comments/feedback to hzeleyes23@aol.com.

Jen sat across from Dawson at the cafe across the street from the video store. She was sipping at the water she had ordered and calming down from her little outburst.

"OK, Jen, now you wanna tell me why you look like you want life to end?" Dawson asked softly.

She took a deep breath and looked at him. She smiled to herself, knowing Dawson would always be there for her. "I don't know Dawson. I feel like I shouldn't be alive. Everywhere I go I cause destruction and sadness. And I feel no one listens to me. Grams won't let up on the whole God thing. It's like her one mission in life is to make me into a person as religious as her when I told her I don't even believe in God and I feel I'm never heard and I'm sure she hates me now and so does Joey and Cliff does too now and my parents...." She was sobbing again, harder than before. Dawson came around the table and hugged her.

"Hey, hey, it's OK. You do not cause destruction and sadness everywhere you go. And I'll always be there to listen to you. And your grandmother does not hate you. Neither does Joey and definitely not Cliff. As for your parents, they wouldn't have sent you down here if they didn't care," Dawson tried to comfort her. Jen shook her head and continued crying as Dawson hugged her tighter.

Little did they know that across the street Joey was watching. She had been on her way to the video store to see Dawson when she had seen him and Jen come out.

I cannot believe you Dawson Leery, she said in her mind while the tears welled up in her eyes. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't turn around, just put her head down and let the tears stream down her face.

She felt herself being turned around and then heard Pacey's voice. "Joey, what's wrong?" He then noticed her tears and quickly hugged her. Joey didn't care that it was Pacey hugging her, she just needed to be hugged; to feel that someone cared when her boyfriend didn't. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed on his shoulder as he tightened his grip on her waist.

"What happened?" He had thought of adding a sarcastic comment, but felt this was a time to be serious.

"How could he?" Joey moaned through her tears. "I thought he was the only person I could trust and he goes and-," she choked on her tears and continued hugging Pacey.

He lightly untangled himself from her, much to his disappointment, and held her by the shoulders. "We are talking about Dawson here right?" She nodded and he continued, "Come on, let's walk and you can tell me about it."

Jen walked home slowly. Talking to Dawson had really helped. Her feelings for him were growing more intense by the day. Last night at the movies she hadn't gotten a chance to be alone with him. She hadn't even gotten the chance to be near him; Joey was guarding him like a hawk would her food. I should have been like that, she thought glumly.

But it had felt good to be in his arms again. Even if it was only a sympathetic and quick hug, she had felt wanted and loved. It was just friend love, but any kind would have done.

As she neared her home she felt more and more tense. She had forgotten her keys so she rang the bell. Her grandmother came to the door, a sad expression on her face.

"Hello Jennifer," she said in a meaningless tone and walked away from the door. Jen sighed and closed the door as she stepped into the house. She went into the kitchen where her grandmother was reading the paper and sipping at some tea.

"Grams, we need to talk," Jen began, but Mrs. Ryan shook her head.

"Not now Jennifer. Please. I don't have the energy for another arguement."

Jen looked at her grandmother worriedly. She looked paler and thinner, her eyes downcast and her cheekbones more prominent. "Are you feeling OK?"

Mrs. Ryan nodded absently and went back to her paper.

"Grams...."

"Jennifer, I was an RN for nearly thirty years. I think I know if I'm feeling well or not. Now please, let me finish my paper in peace."

Jen walked away sadly.

Pacey walked towards Dawson's house, an angry look on his face. How could he do that to Joey? he thought. She's so sweet and cares about him so much.

Pacey climbed the ladder, his feet pounding the steps so hard he thought it would fall apart at any moment. Dawson looked up from the TV as Pacey climbed through the window.

"Pacey man, hi. You haven't come over in a while. What's up?" Dawson asked innocently.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Pacey growled. Dawson stood up confused and was about to say something, but Pacey came over to him, raised his fist, and hit Dawson on the side of his chin. Dawson flew on his bed, his eyes wide with shock. That's two guys I've punched out for Joey, Pacey thought sarcastically.

"What the f-"

"Don't give me that. How could you do that to Joey you frieken bastard?" Pacey yelled.

"Do what to Joey? Love her?" Pacey was stunned for a moment.

"You love her?"

"I don't know, it just came out. I guess I do," Dawson replied, stunned himself.

"If you love her so much, what do you call what you're doing with Jen?"

Dawson was confused. "What am I doing with Jen?"

Pacey rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me. I know."

"Know what?!"

"About your love affair with Jen!"

Dawson started laughing. "My love...my love...my love affair with Jen? What love affair with Jen? What drug are you on Pacey?"

"Joey told me she saw you two across the street from the video store. She was crying for about an hour."

"Oh, God Pacey, this could not be more misunderstood. I was just trying to comfort her. She's convinced she's a curse or something. I was trying to be a good friend."

Pacey considered this for a moment. Dawson had never lied to him before, not intentionally. And Jen had looked very distraught when she had run into the video store that morning. Pacey hadn't really cared then, he was too busy fuming over what Nellie had done. "Seriously?"

"Of course. Me and Jen are way over. So, you came all the way to here to punch me for something I didn't do? Boy, you and Joey are really close." Pacey shrugged uncomfortably. "Where's Joey now? Is she OK?" Dawson asked quickly.

"She's still a little, well a lot miserable. She's at the Icehouse. Why don't you let me talk to her first? She might have a little more trust in me at the moment. Geez, Dawson I'm really sorry. I just thought....I don't know what I thought." Dawson nodded.

"Yeah, I gotta put some ice on this bruise before it starts to swell. You sure can pack a punch Pacey." Pacey looked down.

"Sorry man. I just couldn't stand the thought of you hurting-"

"Pace, I'd never hurt Joey. Now get your ass over to the Icehouse and explain things to her so I can go over and see her," Dawson urged.

"Yeah, sure thing. Dawson, don't tell her that I came here and...ya know."

Dawson nodded, "Just go."

Joey went over to an elderly couple and gave them two cups of coffee.

"Excuse me, Miss," the woman said in a cold voice, "I didn't order this. Now take this back and get me my order."

Joey mumbled a sorry and took both cups of coffee.

The man sighed. "Miss, I did order this, leave it alone." Joey nodded and rushed away with the one cup of coffee.

Choruses of complaints followed her as she rushed back to the counter. "What did that damn lady order," she muttered to herself. All afternoon she had been messing up people's orders. Her mind kept on replaying the scene of Dawson and Jen hugging. She felt the tears behind her lids and took a deep breath. Just then Pacey came barreling through the crowd.

"Joey! Have I got news for you!"

"Pacey, I can't stand any more shock today OK?"

"You are gonna wanna hear this." Joey listened wide-eyed as Pacey described his conversation with Dawson, leaving out anything that had to do with the punch.

"I made a complete fool of myself over nothing? I have to go talk to Dawson! Is he at the video store?"

Pacey shook his head, "No, he's at his house. He has a split shift today."

"OK, I'm going there now." Then realizing it she asked him, "How come you're not at work? Split shift too?"

"No, I, uh, got....Nellie Olsen fired me."

"For what?"

"Screaming at her...But, it's OK. And now you have to run over to Dawson's house."

"Right." She took off her apron and threw it at Pacey, "Cover for me. Sarah will show you what to do." She walked quickly to the door, then turned back. "Pace?"

He looked up from tying the apron on himself, "Yeah Joe?"

"Sorry about your job and thanks for helping me out with the whole Dawson thing." With that she ran out of the restaraunt.

Dawson looked up as he heard a shuffle at the window. Joey stepped in his room and smiled timidly at him.

"Hey," she murmered.

"Joey-"

"No, listen to me Dawson. I was really stupid thinking that you would cheat on me. Especially with Jen after she broke your heart like that. Although at the beginning I know you would have gone back to her if she wanted you, but now I hope you have gotten over her."

"I have Joey, I have," Dawson interrupted her, "I am totally and completely devoted to you now." He stood up from his bed and hugged her. "I know it's taken us a while to get together," he whispered in her ear, "but now that we finally are, I'm not gonna give it up."

Joey smiled and hugged him back. "Neither am I." Dawson turned his face to her and they both leaned in for a kiss. It was a kiss that sealed their loyalty to each other, but each were having their own hesitations.