"Pacey Witter get your butt down here now!" Dawson ordered.

Pacey came running down the stairs and scooped his girlfriend up in a huge hug/kiss. When he finally set her down Dawson was glaring at him.

"Dawson calm down." Jen laughed, putting a hand on his arm.

Dawson sighed, rolled his eyes, and grinned. "Let's go." He suggested, holding his arm out to Jen.

The four of them were, believe it or not, going to a dance at school. School had been in for a month, and it was the first dance of the year.

"So? Jo? Should I tell you now or later how absolutely gorgeous you look?" Pacey asked his girlfriend.

Joey giggled. "Well you could tell me now if you wanted..." She said, slipping her hand into his and looking up at him.

"Or...?"

"Or you could tell me later and see who I dance with at the dance."

Pacey laughed. "Darlin', you look positively stunning."

Joey giggled again. "Good." She approved, reaching up to kiss him.

"Could you two wait?" Dawson asked, grinning and shaking his head at them. They shrugged and walked into the school.

"Oh joy." Joey rolled her eyes. "My idea of a party."

"Joey, come on." Pacey gently shook her arm. "This will be-" He broke off as a woman caught his eye.

"Pacey? What are you-?" Joey looked in the direction he was staring into and broke off as well.

Dawson and Jen, now thoroughly curious, took a look too. "Oh my god." Jen whispered, squeezing Dawson's hand.

Tamara Jacobs was smiling and sipping her juice.

"I am not jealous." Joey snapped at Dawson. Pacey and Jen were out dancing.

"You are so jealous." Dawson teased.

"I am not!" Joey crossed her arms angrily. "But if she takes one step closer to Pacey then I'll rip her head off."

Dawson howled in laughter, causing people to turn and look at them. "Joey Potter I swear I never thought I'd hear you say that!"

"Shut up, Dawson." Joey shot him a murderous glance and swirled around her drink.

"Just because he lost his virginity to her doesn't-"

"Dawson, you're not making this easier for me!" Joey informed him unhappily.

"Oh, Jo. Calm down. He's in love with you now. We went through this a few months ago."

"Yeah. But as you so gleefully reminded me, he did once love her. And she was first." Joey sighed. "Maybe I was right a few months ago."

"Jo." Dawson said sharply. She relented.

"Okay. So I was wrong. But still. That doesn't make this-"

"Hello Joey! Hello Dawson! How are you two doing?" Tamara asked, stopping at their table.

"We're fine Miss Jacobs, thanks." Dawson eyed her warily while Joey looked like she was under much strain to not be ripping up Tamara.

"Joey, aren't you having a good time?" Tamara wanted to know, concerned. She sat down between Joey and Dawson.

"Just peachy." Joey mocked.

"Hey honey. Did I tell you how much I love you yet?" Pacey kissed Joey's cheek and sat down next to her. He looked up, still smiling, but that quickly vanished when he saw who was sitting at their table.

"Hello Pacey." Tamara forced a smile on her face.

"Hello Miss Jacobs." Pacey licked his lips, trying to moisten what now felt like cotton balls.

Joey jumped up from the table. "Let's dance, Dawson." She grabbed his hand without waiting for a reply.

"Joey, no wait!" Pacey tried, but she was already leading Dawson to the other side of the dance floor.

Pacey sank back down into his seat and didn't look at Tamara as he spoke. "I thought you left." He said, taking a sip of Joey's drink.

"Are you dating her?" Tamara asked back, trying to remain calm.

"You don't have a right to get jealous." Pacey's voice was quiet but harsh. "You gave up that right."

"Pacey, I didn't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you. But I moved on."

Tamara nodded. "I hoped that you would."

He studied her. "You mean, you wanted me to but secretly hoped that I wouldn't?"

She didn't answer. "It's nice to see you again Pacey."

"As you Tamara." She stopped getting up, then left.

Pacey put his head in his hands on the table.

"Jen! Thank god! Do you know where Joey is?" Pacey grabbed her arm.

"Yeah." Jen nodded.

"Where?" Pacey asked when she volunteered nothing.

"Crying her eyes out in the girls bathroom."

Pacey swore and ran out of the gym. He pushed open the door to the bathroom. "Joey?" He called in, looking away from the inside.

"Go away, Pacey!" He heard.

"Joey I'm not leaving so you might as well come talk to me."

Joey came storming out of the bathroom and crossed her arms.

"Don't be mad." He started.

"I'm not mad. I'm perfectly calm."

"You're jealous."

"I'm not jealous." She snapped through gritted teeth.

"You're livid." He grinned, then reached for her. "But I swear to god Jo, you've got absolutely nothing to worry about. My eyes are for you only."

She pushed off his hands. "But is the rest of you?"

He took a step back as if she'd physically slapped him. She knew immediately she'd said too much and looked down.

"I thought we discussed this before." He said softly.

"We did." She said, her hair covering her face which was dropping tears.

"I thought we came to an understanding."

"We did."

"So why don't you trust me?"

Joey didn't answer.

"Am I that untrustworthy Jo? Is-is it my reputation? Did-did I do something that would make you think that I wanted someone else besides you?"

"It's a little hard when the woman your boyfriend lost his virginity to, i.e., loved and still must because that person you will always love and remember, comes back to town!" Joey's head snapped up.

"But I'm here with you Jo."

"Physically! But how do I know that you're not thinking of her right now?"

"The same way I know that you're not thinking of Dawson."

"Which is what?"

He took her hands. "Because you told me you weren't."

Joey crumpled in his arms, holding on for dear life. God but she hated change. She was almost as bad as Dawson. Maybe worse in some instances.

"I would never hurt you Jo. Why can't you believe me?" Pacey whispered into her hair.

"Because she's scared." Dawson said from behind Pacey. They turned around to look at Dawson and Jen. "Come on. This place is boring. We're going to go back to my house and do something actually fun."

"Sounds good." Pacey said, relieved. He protectively wrapped his arm around Joey as they walked out.

From around the corner Tamara Jacobs watched, a sad and wistful expression on her face.

Pacey, sensing eyes on them, turned around and locked eyes with the teacher. He shook his head and turned back to Joey.

Joey woke up in Pacey's arms. Then she sat up quickly and stared at him, and at herself. She grabbed the covers and pulled them up over her bare chest.

"Oh my god." She whispered, the night before coming back to her. She searched frantically for her clothes, then threw them on and ran into the bathroom just in time to throw up.

"I lost my virginity." She whispered, then threw up again.

When Pacey woke up, Joey wasn't there. One side of his bed was made however, and there was a note. Pacey snatched it up.

Pacey,

My god. My hands are shaking even as I write this. I-I mean, I love you... I just used to think that I'd be married before I lost it. I can't tell if I'm sorry it happened or if I'm just sorry that it happened before I was married. I think it's the latter.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. Through my limited experience I can tell you that I thought it was good. God, I feel like a one night stand.

I'm gone. Jen and I are off, though I don't know where we're going. We're just leaving. And I have no idea when we'll be back. Could be just a day. Could be 3 weeks. I don't know.

I love you Pacey.

Joey

Pacey tossed down the note and stared at it for a minute longer. Then he started crying.

"I take it you know they ran off." Dawson said as he sat dow

n beside Pacey, who was dangling his feet above the water and over the dock."Yeah."

"D'you know why?"

"'Cause I was a lousy lay?"

Dawson laughed. "Seriously though. D'you know why?"

"I took away Joey's virginity and she needed time to think about it."

Dawson laughed, and then realized Pacey wasn't joking. "Oh my god." He said, stopping immediately. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"It just happened okay? I didn't plan it!"

"No, but it sure happened at a convenient time." Dawson said bitterly.

"What are you talking about?" Pacey's voice became low.

"Well your ex-girlfriend shows up in town and you sleep with your current girlfriend, sending her running away so you can get together with your ex. Sounds like a made for TV movie." Dawson shook his head and stood up. "Don't call me."

"Dawson, I didn't-" But Dawson didn't listen. Pacey hung his head miserably.

"Was he good?"

"Jen!"

"It's an honest question Jo."

"I thought he was great, but I've never had sex before either." Joey lowered her voice to a hiss.

"Doesn't matter. It's something you just know." Jen shrugged. "The first guy I ever had sex with was horrible. And I knew that after the first time. The second guy was okay. The third guy-"

"God Jen! How many have there been?!"

"Uh... 5."

"Wow."

"I wasn't exactly playing hard to get." Jen said ruefully.

"Have you ever had a 'great' one?"

"Yes." Jen smiled. "Billy."

"Oh, that jerk that took away Dawson and Pacey?"

Jen laughed. "That's him."

"Ugh."

"Ugh?"

"Ugh."

"Definitely ugh." The two girls burst into laughter.

"You know what Jo?"

"What?"

"I kinda wanna head back."

"Me too. I shouldn't have left Pacey the way that I did."

"So let's get the bus back!"

"Okay!" They happily linked arms and walked to the bus station.

"Pacey?" Tamara looked up from the dock.

"Hello Miss Jacobs."

"Since when have you become formal around me?"

"Since my girlfriend ran off."

"She's stupid."

"She's not stupid."

"To leave you she is."

"She isn't." Pacey's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Okay. She isn't." She paused. "How have you been?"

"Why did you come back?"

She took a deep breath. "I have a new job. Working for the news."

"Lots of adultery going on at the news station."

"Why are you treating me like this?"

"Because you were a part of my life that I put away to be remembered and loved. Not lived again."

"Pacey... I didn't mean to upset you in coming back." She paused again. "I actually thought you'd be happy to see me."

"I didn't say I wasn't happy."

"You sure aren't acting it."

"My girlfriend ran out. I'm sorry if I'm not the pep squad around you." He snapped sarcastically.

"Why did she run out?"

"I guess I was a lousy lay."

"I wouldn't say that."

"What would you say?" He asked before realizing the consequences.

The next second her mouth was pressed against his and there was a strangled cry. Pacey and Tamara's heads snapped to the side to see Joey slowly backing away, tears already slipping down her cheeks.

"I thought you said I could trust you." She whispered. "But you're just like my dad." She turned and ran away.

"Joey! No! Wait!" Pacey ran after her without giving Tamara a second thought.

Joey ran along the beach, her feet kicking up sand. Pacey was close at her heels and tackled her.

"Get off me!" She screamed. He clamped a hand over her mouth and she kneed him. He moaned and slacked his grip. That was enough for her to get up and run again.

As much pain as he was in, he ran after her once more and again caught her. She tried screaming, but again his hand came over her mouth, and his legs locked over hers to keep her from kicking him. "Would you stop?!" He pleaded. "I'm not going to rape you!"

"Somehow that pain would be easier to deal with." Joey bit out at him. "Get off of me. I never want to see you again."

"Joey, listen to me!"

"Why?"

"Because I love you and you love me!"

"I used to think so." She looked past him, up at the stars, silently pushing all of her pain onto them.

"Joey please." Pacey begged. "She kissed me before I had a chance to react, I swear."

Joey looked tempted to believe him. "Here's your lover now, Pacey." She said softly, looking over his shoulder at the woman. Pacey turned his head, and Joey sprang up, running. He watched her go with tears on his cheeks.

"Are you happy?" He demanded from Tamara. "I've lost her."

"I could talk to her-" She started to offer.

"No. You know what? You've already done plenty for me, thanks." He brushed himself off and started to walk away.

"I never meant for this to happen Pacey." She called after him, stopping him. "I didn't want you to hate me. I just wanted to be your friend."

Pacey kept on walking. "We're done Tamara." He said without turning around.

*

Joey cursed the little stick she held in her hand, then started crying. "I want you to be wrong." She begged. "I really, really do."

Two lines. She got two lines. She was pregnant.

"Miss Potter, your test results came out negative." The doctor told her. Joey sighed with relief and relaxed.

"Thank you Dr. Winle. I appreciate your help." Joey shook her hand and walked out of the office.

"Thank god." She whispered, leaning against the wall. "Thank god."

"Joey!" Jen jumped up from the cafeteria table and stared at her friend in shock, surprise, and happiness. "Thank god you're okay! We've been so worried! You've been gone for a week!" She threw her arms around the brunette.

Pacey and Dawson also were standing, Pacey looking relieved but sad as well.

Joey sat down at the last seat at the table, and her other friends sat down as well. "I took a pregnancy test that came out positive." She said simply. Pacey blanched for a second, then a huge grin spread over his face.

"Are you?" He asked, thinking that having a kid would be great.

Joey stared at him. "Like it would matter to you. You don't even know if you're the father."

He paled. "What?"

"I wouldn't know who was the father." She looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "It could have been Rick... Or that guy from the club."

"You're kidding, right?" Pacey looked sick.

"And it would matter why?" She snapped. "We're certainly through."

"As you so happily remind me." He said back through gritted teeth.

"But I'm not." Joey drummed her fingers on the table. "Pregnant that is. The doctor said I wasn't."

"Is that good?" Jen asked softly.

"Hell yes. I'm not ready to have a child, and certainly not a bastard one." Pacey looked angry at Joey's harsh words.

"Jo, stop." Dawson chatised gently.

"D'you know I caught him making out with his ex-lover the night after we had sex?" Joey asked her other two friends. She turned on Pacey.

"That's all it was wasn't it Pacey? Just good hard sex. No love there, right?"

"You may be hurting because you think you know what you saw, but that doesn't mean that you can say that what we had was nothing to you." Pacey snapped.

"I should have known that I'd turn out like my mom." She shook her head. "You guys can all visit me in a few years. I'll be back together with Pacey and he'll be out every night with some new girl while I slowly waste away to death after bearing two kids."

Pacey held his head in his hands and did his best not to cry.

"Are you purposefully hurting him Jo?" Jen asked softly as she watched Pacey.

"Yeah." Joey answered honestly. "How's it feel to get your heart stomped on Pacey?"

He looked up at her, and what she saw in his eyes... The tears, the pain, the love even after all of this, stopped her from breathing.

"Pretty damn bad." He replied quietly.

Joey's hard expression shattered as she stood up and hugged Pacey to her, bending over him and crying. All the eyes in the cafeteria were on her, but that mattered not. Joey had succeeded in her goal of hurting Pacey, and now she wished she could take it all back. That she could remove from him the pain that she had caused. And she couldn't, and for that she cried.

She'd decided that she'd cried too much since she got together to Pacey. That's how she knew she loved him. No one could reduce Joey Potter to tears except Pacey Witter.

And they were in the cafeteria, Pacey hugging her waist and leaning against her stomach as he fought back tears, and Joey's tear slipping onto his neck as her hair veiled them from the rest of the world.

"Can you believe how much we've been through? And we've only been together for 6 months." Joey shook her head and leaned against Pacey.

"Actually it's been a day."

"Shut up Pacey. Quit being argumentative."

"Yes ma'am." They were stretched out on the dock, Jen and Dawson making out beside them.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So now what?"

"Now?" Joey shrugged.

"Wow you're descriptive."

"You have two choices. Quit tormenting me by being so close and kiss me, or leave me."

"Wow. Yes ma'am." Pacey leaned down and kissed her with everything he had. "And Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"You're probably going to hate me for telling you this, but I swear that you were great. Better than Tamara."

Joey laughed and hugged him tighter. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood." She teased, putting a leg on either side of him and sitting on his lap.

"How lucky?"

She shook her head. "That really is all guys think about isn't it?" She grinned.

"Nah. I could stay like this for the rest of my life, you sitting here and talking to me and being near, and I could go without sex ever again."

Joey smiled. "You're good."

"Great?"

"Wonderful."

"Good."

She gently caressed his cheek, then kissed him sweetly. "I love you Pacey."

"Just remember that next time you see Tamara."

She smacked his shoulder.

"Ow! Okay, okay! I love you Joey."

She smiled and kissed him again. "Much better."

"Damn." Pacey swore.

Joey looked up at her boyfriend from her spot on the couch. He was sprawled out on the floor, his books and papers in front of him.

"What's wrong?" Joey asked, putting down her book.

"I just figured it out, and the only way I'm going to pass Miss Jacob's class is if I ace every test from now until the end of the semester."

Joey still got angry at the mention of her lover's ex-lover, but he'd proved faithful time and again, so she tried to curb her jealousy. "I could tutor you." She suggested off handedly, a sly grin on her face. She started down off the couch.

"You'd do that for me?" His face also took on a sly grin, him sitting up and meeting her half way.

"Maybe." She grinned as he took her in his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I mean..." Her finger trailed down his shoulders. "The last English teacher you had you slept with. I think my chances are pretty good."

He almost groaned at Joey rubbing it in, but she was purposefully baiting him. Instead he lowered his mouth to her neck and then kissed her waiting lips.

Joey smiled from Pacey's arms. He lay asleep beside her, their clothes discarded around the room. She almost laughed as she saw his shirt on the lamp shade.

Joey gently ran her fingers over his arms, then turned around and faced him. He was awake she found, and looked at her as she turned around.

"No regrets." She smiled, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Never." He kissed her sweetly. "I love you so much Jo. So much more than you can know."

Joey smiled, tears slipping down her face. "Oh Pacey." She whispered lovingly. She kissed him again, deeper.

~~~~End?~~~~