As Long As We're Together
Part Five of "Once in a Lifetime"
by Rae Vertudez

DISCLAIMER: Yup, "Dawson's Creek" belongs to me. I was the one who created Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and Jen. I deserve all of the credit. And for those of you who cannot detect the sarcasm in my voice, "Dawson's Creek" is the property of Kevin Williamson, Columbia-Tristar Television, Sony Pictures Entertainment, and the Warner Bros. Network.
Send comments/feedback to RaDa113@aol.com

SUMMARY: A romantic tale that explores the past lives of Pacey, Joey, Dawson, Jen, and various other Capeside citizens. Ever wonder what the small Massacusetts town was like in the 50's?
KEYWORDS: Pacey/Joey romance.

~February 7, 1958~

"I'm about ready to puke."

Stu laughed. "You're just nervous. Don't worry, Ben, it'll go fine. You and Nina have gone to the movies together before."

"But never as a 'couple.' We've gone together as friends, and most times as mortal enemies, but never 'together-together', you know?"

"Look, just take a deep breath. Relax. And be yourself. Girls like that." Stu glanced at his watch. 8:05. They had been standing in front of the Rialto for the past fifteen minutes. Where could Max and Nina be? "You think I'd make a bad first impression if I threw up all over her shoes?"

"You've known her for the past 10 years. It's a little too late for bad first impressions. And why do you suddenly care if you look like an ass or not?" Stu paused. "That came out wrong."

Ben was oblivious, however. He had just spotted the two girls running down the street. "There they are." He turned to Stu. "Promise me, if I collapse, in order to keep some form of self-dignity, tell them I have a really bad case of asthma and I forgot my inhaler."

"You know, neurosis is definitely not one of your strong suits," Stu remaked as Max and Nina appraoched them.

"Hey, guys," Max greeted the two. She planted a kiss on Stu's cheek. "Sorry we're late, but Grams was giving me the unedited version of her infamous don't-drink-or-do-drugs-or-the-Lord-Himself-will- condemn-you-to-hell speech."

"It's too bad you guys missed it," Nina said, smiling. "It was quite entertaining."

Stu grinned. "I'll pass, thanks. I prefer my entertainment on a screen of some sorts." He motioned towards the theatre. "'The Attack of the 50-Foot Woman' okay?"

Max and Nina nodded in agreement. "Sounds good."

Max and Stu fell in step with one another, leaving Nina and Ben alone togther. As they followed them toward the entrace (Ben and Stu had purchased their tickets in the girls' absense), Nina studied Ben's somewhat distraught face.

"You all right?"

"Fine, why?"

"Well, the last time you didn't speak a word in over one minute was when we were six and you had a severe case of laryngitis."

He took some time before answering. "I open my mouth, stupid things come out. That enough explanation?"

"You always say stupid things." Nina paused. "That came out wrong."

"Look," he began, as he handed their tickets to the usher," you and I both know that I have this tendency to screw up potentially-good things by opening my mouth and letting relationship-damaging statements come rolling out. And I want this date to be...well, not screwed-up."

"So, you're just going to not talk the entire night?"

"Nope. Not at all. Not a word." He made a motion across his face as if he was zipping up his mouth.

Nina sighed disappointedly. "Oh, well, then, that's a shame, because I find verbally-enable guys quite attractive."

Ben's raised his eyebrows. "Really? Well, then call me Mr. Talkative," he said, grinning, offering his arm to her.

Nina laughed as she linked arms with him. "Now that's more like it."

~February 7, Present Day~

They all had decided to see the latest Matt Damon-Ben Affleck collaboration. The theatre was fairly crowded, yet they managed to find good seats. After a short discussion on how it compared to "Good Will Hunting" in front of the theatre two hours later, the two pairs parted ways, Dawson walking Jen home and Pacey escorting Joey.

"Sorry, but Doug needed the car tonight," Pacey apologized.

"That's okay," Joey replied. "I need the fresh air." They walked for a while in a comfortable silence.

"So, Matt Damon or Ben Affleck?" Pacey suddenly asked when he had grown tired of the silence.

"What?" Joey replied confused.

"Everyone has a fave," he explained. "It's either Matt or Ben."

Joey thought about it for a briefly. "Well, it used to be Matt, he has a great smile..." She looked at Pacey and gave him a coy smile. "...but I don't know, I'm more into dark-haired, more muscular guys these days..."

Pacey grinned, quite pleased with her response. "Good answer."

"I thought so." Joey paused, then switched to another subject. "You were honestly worried that you were going to ruin tonight?"

Pacey pondered this for a moment. "Basically, yeah. I mean, I've been waiting for this to happen for almost seven years. I guess the nervousness of it all brought on the sheer panic that I would do something wrong."

Joey's expression became a contemplative one. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Sure," Pacey replied. "Shoot."

"Why me?"

Pacey, confused, stopped in his tracks. "What do you mean?"

"Why me?" Joey repeated, also stopping "What did I do to become the object of your affection?"

The smile reappeared. "That's easy. You were my first kiss."

Joey shook her head. "No, I wasn't."

"Yeah, you were."

She shook her head again. "No, I wasn't. Alexis Davidson was your first kiss--"

"Alexis Davidson was my *second* kiss, *you* were my first. November 3rd, 1991. Approximately 4:30 p.m. It was a cold, rainy afternoon--"

Joey began to laugh. "You remember all of this?"

"You don't?"

"I can vaguely recall it, but I don't remember all of the details," Joey said. "I can't believe you do."

"It was a very important day," Pacey explained. "When my lips touched your lips, I was yours for life. There's never been anyone else but you."

"What about Alexis Davidson?" Joey asked coyly.

"Let me rephrase that. Anyone _important_," he replied, taking her hand in his, leading her up to her front door. All the lights were on inside, even the porch lights were on. The Potter household was lit like a Christmas tree. They both lingered around the front door for a while, looking at each other and laughing unomfortably.

"Well...uh...good night," Joey said, leaning toward him to give him a kiss on his cheek. As she leaned toward him, all the lights, both inside and out, were turned off simultaneously, surprising Joey, and the kiss landed on his lips unexpectedly, and it gradually deepened into something a little less innocent and something a bit more passionate.

They broke away from each other after a moment, and started to laugh again. "I'm going to kill Bessie," Joey said.

"Before you do that, tell her 'thanks' for me," Pacey replied, planting a soft kiss on her forehead before turning to leave. "'Night, Jo," he said over his shoulder, with his infamous disarming grin.

She watched him get into his truck and drive away before entering the house. There on the couch in the family room sat Bessie. "Did I cut the lights at the right moment?" she asked, a mischievous expression on her face.

Joey rolled her eyes. "Perfect timing, Bessie," she answered, unable to conceal her smile.

~February 8, 1958~

"Okay, that's two cheeseburgers, one without mayo, two milkshakes. Will that be all?" Nina said to the occupants of Table #8. "Be back in a few with your order." She scribbled something on her notepad while heading towards the kitchen, almost colliding with Ben.

"You know, walking without looking is a potential insurance claim," Ben said, grinning.

"Ben!" Nina said with obvious happiness. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm hungry?"

"Take a seat at the counter, I'll be with you soon."

After a few minutes and delivering other people's meals, she went over to Ben to take his order. "So, what do you want?"

"Well..." said Ben, obviously stalling. "What are the specials?"

"Today's specials include the chicken club and the BLT, as well as the clam chowder."

"Hmm..." Ben opened a menu and scanned it slowly. "What would you recommend?"

"_Ben_..." Nina said, amused yet a bit annoyed. "Okay, okay. I'll have...a...Coke."

"I thought you were hungry."

Ben shrugged, his miscievous grin widening. "Not really. To tell you the truth, I just come here for the cute waitresses."

Nina rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling.

"Nina!" someone called from the kitchen. "Stop chit-chatting with your boyfriend and get this order to Booth #2!"

A slight blush overcame her face. "I...uh...have to go. I'll get that coke to you as soon as I can."

"No rush," he replied, still smiling.

An hour passed and he still sat at the counter, slowly sipping his soda, watching Nina out of the corner of his eye, smilng at her her whenever she passed by. Just as she was about to tell him that her shift would end in just a few minutes, she noticed he had gone. With a disappointed frown, she exited the Diner, only to find him waiting for her in the parking lot.

"You're still here!" Nina said in surprise. "I thought you left."

"Yeah, I got kicked out," he admitted. "Apparently one Coke is not going to allow the average customer to linger around the diner for the minimum hour." Ben paused, and said laughingly, "But they can't kick me out of the parking lot!"

"What are you still doing here?"

"Waiting for you. I thought it was obvious. And you call yourself an honors student." He bowed elegantly and held out the door for her. "Your chariot awaits, m' lady."

"Ben, you don't have to drive me around anymore. You've paid your debts. I liberate you as my chaffeur."

"Wish it were that easy, but free rides is in the handbook."

Nina eyed him skeptically. "The handbook."

"Yup."

"And what handbook would that be?"

"The Boyfriend Handbook, of course."

"The Boyfriend Handbook?"

"Mm-hmm. Under the section of 'carpooling', it says, and I quote, 'If your girlfriend is not blessed with driving priveleges such as a license or an actual car, it is your civic duty to assist them with any of their driving needs.' End quote."

Nina smiled. "Well, if it's in the handbook..." she said before entering the car.

~February 9, Present Day~

"Hey, Jo."

Joey turned to see Pacey standing behind her. "Hey," she greeted with a smile, before returning to pulling out books from her locker.

"Okay, Dawson and Jen are going bowling tonight and they've invited us along. You in?"

Joey's nose crinkled. "I don't know...bowling? Couldn't we do something a little less boring and a bit more...I don't know, fun?"

"Well, what do you suggest? There are just _so_ many options we could take, being in America's capital of teenage fun and all."

"True. But _bowling_?"

"You're just against bowling 'cause you suck at it. I'm on to you.

" "Wrong. I'm morally opposed to bowling."

"Morally opposed?"

"Yeah. What did those poor, defenseless pins ever do to be knocked down like that?"

Pacey gave her a skeptical look.

"Okay, I suck at it."

"So, that's a 'no' then?"

"Why don't we do something just the two of us?" Joey suggested. "I don't know about you, but tagging along the Mr. and Mrs. isn't my idea of a great date."

"Well, it's just that...group dating's...safe."

"Capeside isn't exactly the crime capital of the country any more than it is the one of teenage fun."

"No, safe as in...look, we've been dating for like, what, 48 hours? We're still in the first stage."

"Is that in the Boyfriend Handbook, too?" she joked.

"Seriously, Jo."

"Okay, I'll bite. The first stage?"

"The first-few-dates-getting-to-know-you stage."

"I've already gotten to know you," she pointed out. "C'mon, Pacey. Stages?"

"Look, this is all new to me. I'm playing by the rules until...you know...we're in the about-to-ask-you-to-go-steady-and-give-you-my- letterman-jacket stage."

"You know, this insecurity of yours is really cutting into our relationship. Pacey, this is new to me, too. Meaning, that if you did anything that the so-called 'perfect boyfriend' wouldn't normally do, I would probably not be aware of it. Don't worry about it so much, and I thought I'd never say this to you of all people but...lighten up."

Pacey thought about it for a moment. "It is a bit of a contradiction, isn't it?"

"A bit. I mean, you never were one to play by the rules. Let's just go through this and handles things when they show up." She paused.

"'Going steady' and 'letterman jackets'? How 'Joanie Loves Chachi' can you get?"

"I guess I should cancel the order on the class ring on a chain for you then, huh?"

Joey punched him in the arm playfully.

"Ow!" Pacey feigned hurt.

Just then, the second bell rang.

"So, walk you to English?" he offered as she shut her locker and zipped up her backpack.

"That's in a totally different direction than you're heading. You'll be late."

"And that's a problem because....?"

"_Pacey_..."

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going." He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I love it when you get maternal on me, Joey. Quite the turn-on." Pacey bounded down the hallway, leaving Joey standing there, shaking her head and softly laughing.

But as she walked toward her English class, his last words echoed through her head...and something was bothering her about them. *Maternal....turn-on*, she replayed the words in her head. *What's bugging me so much--*

She stoppped in her tracks.

*_Tamara_*.

Joey felt numb all over. She had started to walk towards the classroom again in a daze, and was so preoccupied mentally that she didn't notice Jen arrive and her greeting.

After repeating "hello" several times, she tried to get her attention with other phrases. "Joey...come in, Joey...Jen to Joey, do you read me..."

Jen sighed, then waved her hand in front of her face. "Joey!"

She snapped to attention. "Sorry, Jen. I'm kind of out of it today."

"Obviously," Jen replied. "For a second there, I thought Houston would have a problem. Everything okay?"

~1958~

"Am I blowing this out of proportion, or what?" Nina asked Max after she had told her of Ben's exiting phrase.

"Not exactly," Max answered sincerely. "I mean, I would feel the same way you would if I were in your situation."

"No, I don't think you would," Nina said. "I mean, you're not...you're not..."

"A virgin? Nina, that doesn't change anything. A current boyfriend with an older woman as an ex is bound to make any girl uncomfortable."

"So, what _would_ you do if you were in my situation?"

"I would talk to him about it. I'm no expert, but relationships are all about trust, honesty, and above all, communication. So...communicate."

"What I'm supposed to say? 'Hey, Ben, how are you? Oh, by the way, how far did you and Ms. Peters go, exactly?'"

"Personally, I'd go for the 'Something's bothering me and I'd like to talk to you about it' route," Max said, then paused. "Look, Nina, maybe you and Ben should take it slow for a while."

"We were just talking about that, actually."

"And?"

"And _I_ told _him_ that we should just go with it at a natural pace. But I'm beginning to think that 'slow and steady' is the best speed for the time being."

"Then _you_ tell _him_ that you've changed your mind."

~Present Day~

"We never confirmed what we were doing tonight," said Pacey as they drove out of the school parking lot. "Since we've ruling out bowling, since you have issues about the whole idea, the other option is a movie. But I guess that's not the best idea since Dawson would throw a fit if we see a new one without him. That leaves us with Karoake Night at the Cafe and skinny-dipping in the creek. I, personally, am teetering toward skinny-dipping." He grinned, turning to to Joey, expecting to see a smile on her face. Instead it appeared as if she hadn't been paying attention.

"Then I thought we could hitch to Reno, get married, raise 2.5 children, and live off my earnings as an exotic dancer. You game? Joey?" He nudged her softly.

"I need to talk to you about something," Joey said distractedly.

"Okay...will this need my full concentration or is the importance factor of what we're about to discuss will not need me to pull over?"

"Pull over."

And he did. He turned off the ignition and shifted himself so he could talk to her eye-to-eye. "Okay, you have my complete attention."

She took a moment before continuing. "You know those stages you were telling me about earlier?"

"Yes, you told me to lighten up."

"I was wrong before, maybe we should try going 'by the book' for a while. 'Cause I'm new at this whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing--"

"And so am I," he interrupted. "I thought we already went through this--"

"But you're not new at this," she said quietly.

He was quiet for a moment, then sank back into his seat with a sigh.

"This is about Miss Jacobs, isn't it?"

"Pretty much..."

After a brief silence, he said to her, "Look, Joey, anything that she meant to me, you now-- Jesus, how do I say this without ripping it off a soap opera? Okay, let's try this again. Me and Tamara's relationship was one-dimensional. It was basically sexual attraction...and there was this excitement that drew me to it, there was a big 'danger' sign all over , the whole thing..."

"But basically it was sex."

"Yeah. You know, it sounds really stupid right now, but I was on this hormonal mission, itching to loose my virginity. But you...everything I have with you is real. And I know this sounds completely sappy, but very touch, every brush of your hand, is _way_ more valuable than the most intimate encounter I could I have with her--"

"Oh, God..." Joey groaned, trying to push the image out of her head.

"Okay, obviously, my choice of words were bad...I know you're ashamed of what _I_ did, but, Joey, what do you want me to say? What's going to make you feel better?"

"I honestly don't know, Pacey."

"I can't go back and change my past, Joey. Can't you accept that? Can't you accept 'me'? Because everything I am today is a result of what came before."

"Oh, so now you're turning this around on me?" she asked with some anger evident.

"I'm not turning _anything_ around on you-- Joey, why are you being like this?"

"Like what?! My behavior right now is what would be expected. Come on, how would you feel if I slept with my English teacher?"

"I'm hoping I would feel forgiving, I hope I would-- wait a sec." He stopped midsentence. "I don't have to apologize for anything that happened outside our relationship, before our relationship, anything that doesn't affect our relationship."

"No, you don't," Joey confimed, her voice still tense.

"Then what am I supposed to do? What-- _God_, Jo, I feel like we're going around in circles here."

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"A little less vague, please."

"Maybe 'us' wasn't such a good idea."

He slowly let out an intake of breath. "So we're breaking up then."

"Merely retreating. Before someone gets hurt. You got to admit, we would have killed each other eventually. We're too different."

"Yeah, I had sex with a faculty member, and you didn't," he said bitterly. "I didn't mean that."

"But it's heavily implied. Look, Joey, I still--" He glanced at her, then realized there was nothing else he could say. "Forget it. Just forget it. You're probably right. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all."

~1958~

Nina was home.

She was supposed to be at the Diner.

Working.

But she wasn't exactly in the mood to take orders at the moment.

After she was dropped off at the Diner, she lingered near the entrance then started to walk home.

Now here she was, curled up in a ball on her bed. Waiting for some kind of emotional explosion. She wasn't crying yet, but knew it was bound to happen the way her stomach was slowly tying itself into knots. She could hear someone knocking on the front door. With a heavy sigh, she got up from her place on the bed and answered it. There stood Max.

"Nina! Did you forget you had work today? Sam is really, _really_ mad. Steam coming out of her ears. The whole bit..." She then noticed her despondent facial expression. "...but you don't care."

She didn't respond.

"So I guess the talk with Ben didn't go very smoothly."

Again no response.

Max took a deep breath before continuing. "Nina, I forgot to ask you before. This Miss Peters thing...is this about being worried that he's going to pressure you, being embarrassed that he did something so moronic...or being afraid you won't measure up?"

Nina looked up in surprise.

"I guess it's the latter, then."

~Present Day~

Joey slowly walked up the walkway to Pacey's house, taking deep breaths every so often and clutching the bouquet of daisies in her hand for dear life. She hesitantly knocked on the door, and after a moment, it swung open. There stood Pacey, a firm frown on his, his expression asking what she was doing here.

"Delivery," Joey said weakly, handing him the bouquet.

And before she knew it, she was quoting a Christian Slater-Mary Stuart Masterson movie. "The flowers will last longer if you put some Seven-Up in the water. Sounds weird, I know, but it works."

"'Bed of Roses' sucked," Pacey sais simply.

"Yeah?"

"It was incredibly cheesy and predictable." He eyed the flowers. "So, is this a consolation prize?"

"No, not exactly. In the handbook it says, and I quote, 'If you are the one to blame for the cause of a fight, bring flowers and beg for forgiveness.' End quote."

"The handbook?"

"You don't think girls don't have one of their own?" A small smile appeared on Pacey's face. "I'm sorry."

"No, _I'm_ sorry," Pacey said.

"Sorry for what?"

"For being a disappointment."

"You're not a disappointment, Pacey. You know, for the past few days, I've been smiling, and laughing...and for once in my life, I don't feel so alone, and it's all because of you. I consider that an accomplishment. And it means more than any 'A' on a test or being on the football team or being the perfect son."

"Stop it, my head's starting to swell."

"I'm sorry that I made you feel like you let me down, and that that was why I didn't want be with you anymore. It was me...it was all me. The real and main reason I was so upset was because I was afraid. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to measure up to...Tamara."

Pacey looked at her with an amused expression on his face. "And you said _I_ was insecure. Joey, for years I've put you on a pedestool. Why would I suddenly stop doing that? And don't even _think_ about saying anything that resembles 'not being good enough.' You're talking to the king of screw-ups, remember? If you can have faith me, I _think_ I could manage a little faith in you."

"You're not a--"

"I'm not a screw-up, yeah, yeah. And, Joey, if the major problem is partly sex, don't worry about it. Sex is overrated. It isn't everything. And I would never pressure you into anything you didn't want to do."

"I know you wouldn't," she said sincerely. "But it is all right if we take things slow for a while?"

"As long as we're together, I'm a happy camper." His smile began to widen, and he glanced down at the daisies in his hand again with a curious expression. "Does that Seven-Up thing really work?"

To be continued...
Coming soon...
The final installment of "Once in a Lifetime"...
"A Prelude to What Will Come."
Will history repeat itself? Or will Dawson arrive in time to prevent what happened to Ben Wagner and Nina Connley fourty years ago from happening to his two best friends?