When did I start to fantasize about Pacey? I roles my eyes. About the time he gave me that outstanding kiss. Man that boy can kiss. Even if I only let it happen for a millisecond. I can still remember how it felt. Like an electrical shock from his lips to mine.
"Would I be thinking of some one else while he kissed me, he had asked?" I doubt it, I doubt that I could think if he had kissed me any longer. It was like it wasn't me he was kissing, and it wasn't him kissing me. We were different people then we usually present ourselves to be. I was beautiful and desirable and he was strong and handsome. I had to pull away, for my sanity. But now... Now that I've had time to think, time to work out what everything means to me, it's different. And not different bad, different good.
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay
or would I melt into you?
Mouth to mouth
Lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
All that day, all I could think about was kissing her. Just pulling her to me and touching our lips together. I had fantasias of her moaning my name. Or at least smiling at me. But she ran. Sometimes I think of that night and I know she felt the same way too, she was just too confused to deal. But other times I see the look in her eyes when see pushed me away. It looked like revulsion not cofusion. And still other times I remember the look on the porch, she was touching her lips, as if she was trying to keep the feeling in. Those are the times I wished I could strangle Dawson. He never sees what he already has. His family, his talent, his Joey.
Sometimes I feel her looking at me, like she wishes I would kiss her again. But, maybe I finally learned my lesson and won't try to get burned again. Yet then again I did join a beauty contest. I don't know. I should kiss her again. One more time to see what she would do after having time to think. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Room is spinning out of control
You act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand, Forbidden fruit
What would happen if we kiss?
Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever kiss me again. I daydream of that short moment when it was just him and me. I get so confused over what is and what should be. Then he comes near me and my head spins. It's gotten to where I can pick out his smell. Like heavenly torture I yearn for a release, but am too entranced to pull away. He acts differently. He's more able to come to me, but less likely to touch me. But when he does, it's magical. We both ignore it. Or I try, but the feeling comes to me at night, when I try to remember what Dawson looks like. All I can think about is kissing Pacey again.
But maybe he's still stuck on Mrs. Jacobs. Maybe I was just a last ditch effort to get over her, his first love. Maybe my fascination is an effort to get over Dawson.
Ring on my finger
Your such a moral, moral man
Would you throw it away?--A question
Would I pretend I'm innocent
She's taken. I can't have her. Or even try to get her. Dawson has declared himself, at least to me. He still hasn't told her. I think sometimes I want to give it one more try. I want to see if anyone would choose me. And if she did choose me, what would happen? Is it worth jeopardizing his friendship for her love.
Who's that question coming from? The guy who does nothing with caution, the guy who would do anything as long as it irritates someone. I've got to try it. I've got to see what she would do.
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip pass my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you?