He came to me tonight, while I was looking at the stars, imaging where I would be in ten years. I had to decide if I wanted to go to France. When I finally get a chance to leave this place, Idon't want it. Him and Dawson. My life is so twisted with those two very different men, that I don't know what I'd be without them.

He came to me at the beach, in the secret cove we had discovered so many years ago. No one else know about it. I was mesmerized by the stars and the quite of the night. He stood behind me. Staring down at me. For how long? I don't know. After awhile he sat down behind me and slowly wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me to him, back to chest. I could feel his warmth seeping into my bones. I felt each breath he took as if it was my own. I didn't fight him. I didn't question him, like I usually would. I just leaned back. I wrapped my arms around his and let him take all my worries for the moment.

We didn't talk. We just sat there looking at the stars. We held time suspended, hoping with our last ounce of innocence that the night could last forever and that we didn't have to wake up the next morning and face reality. But neither of us had much innocence left and time moved on as it always will.

"It's time to decide Joey."

I know he didn't mean Europe. He meant him or Dawson. But how do you choose between the two men you love more then life? How can you say hello to one dream if it means you have to say good-bye to another?

"I don't know Pacey." I shook my head, feeling my hair caress his face. "I don't know what I want anymore, from you, from myself, from Dawson. I want to be children again, six year olds with no cares in the world. I want to be back where we were disgusted by the thought of kissing anyone but our mothers. I want to play hide n' seek until it gets dark and it's time to go to our warm beds and sweet dreams."

Pacey sighed. I felt the whoosh of his breath like a kiss on my cheek. "I wish we could do that Joey. I wish I could go back to the time when I thought the world revolved around me. I don't want to live in a world that doesn't need me to keep it going. I'm scared. But that time is over, and if we don't move, we might as well be dead."

"Why did you come tonight, Pacey?" I had to ask, I had to know the truth.

"Because I couldn't stay away any longer. I had to find out if anything has changed between us. I had to give us one more try."

I understood him. Dawson and I have this silent communication like twins. We have known each other for so long that we react to each other as if we were born of the same womb. But Pacey and I understand each other differently. We've gone through a lot of the same things in our short life. We haven't always been like this. Yet, more and more often I can feel what he's feeling. It seems the further apart Dawson and I get, the closer Pacey and I get.

"Could you just hold me a little longer, kiss me until I don't think."

"I'd do anything you want me to, Jo. Anything you ask."