Lullabye (Goodnight, my Angel)
by: snowgirl

Disclaimer: song is Billy Joel's Lullabye (Goodnight, my Angel). Characters belong to Kevin Williams and all his buddies at the WB and elsewhere. No money was made and no animals hurt because of this fanfic. Send comments/feedback to snowgirl@collegeclub.com.



I lay, looking at the stars, with Joey wrapped in my arms. Just knowing she is beside me makes the stars look so much brighter, makes the future seem bearable.

"Pacey, what am I going to do? I mean, I know I should go, but I don't want to leave you or Dawson. If I go, we'll only have two more weeks.

"What if Dawson doesn't forgive me?"

Joey sounds so worried. She is curled into my arms like she'll never let go. I should tell her that she has nothing to fear, because I will never let go. Not this time. She may leave me physically, but I won't let her go.

But, I know I can't let her stay when she wanted to leave here so bad. She has to go... Yet, we'll be so lost without her.

I have to give her up. She has to go to France. I can't let her miss out on this, her dream. I sigh. She probable won't want me when she comes back, but it's a chance I have to take. She has to try for her dreams.

I can't tell her now though. I'm too selfish. Tonight will end with us together forever. I don't want her to go to sleep knowing she'll be leaving soon.

I start to sing to her. It's our song. No matter what happens it will always make me think of our night together, of the most perfect night of my life.

"Goodnight, my angel"

You are my angel. You are my soul. You are the light that will keep me reaching for all the years to come.

"Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say"

I love you. I gave you my heart the first time we kissed.

"I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away"

"Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still many things I want to say"

But I can't say them, my Josephine. Until you come back to me. I can't bind you here with my fear. I love you too much.

"Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay"

I remember the times all of us use to go out on the boat. You'd sing every song you could think of, mainly to annoy me. They never annoyed me. I knew if I complained about them you would keep singing. I never wanted you to stop.

I hid in the back when you sang that song for Dawson. It hurt. All you could think about was him, you never realized I was walking with you. All you ever had to do was turn around.

"And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me.

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful you life will be"

With or without me.

"Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me."

I can see our children. A girl with long whiskey colored hair like yours, with your smile. A boy with your eyes and my grin. We'd make beautiful children, if fate lets my dreams come true.

"Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on....
They never die
That's how you and I will be"

If only in my dreams.

I start to cry. They're silent tears, she can't hear them, but I do.

"Thank you, Pacey. I love you, too. I'll never forget you or tonight."