Crimes of the Heart
Part 3 in the Series
by Theresa G.

Background: Joey decided to go to France, even though she and Dawson are technically together. While in France, her and Pacey exchanged some more then friendly letters.

Disclaimer: I do not own DC or its characters. The song "Criminal" is by Fiona Apple. The song "Iris" is by Goo Goo Dolls. Send comments/feedback to Peace126@aol.com.



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"Flight 409 arriving from Paris, France at Gate 25," blared the PA system. Joey's family, as well as Pacey and Dawson, waited at the gate anxiously. They stared down the corridor until they finally caught sight of a familiar brunette.

"Hey, guys!" Joey called excitedly. Bessie and Bodie, carrying Alex, ran to give her a hug. Dawson and Pacey smiled, waiting in the background for Joey to greet her family. She came over and seemed to hesitate at which one to hug first. Then, Dawson ran over and picked her up in a tight hug.

"I am so glad you're back, I was miserable without you!" He gave her a short kiss on the lips, and hugged her again. Joey, however, looked over his shoulder at Pacey. Pacey just smiled, reassuring her that he understood. She clung tighter to Dawson, needing some kind of comfort. They finally separated and Joey walked cautiously over to Pacey.

"Hey, Jo," he smiled. They hugged briefly, and Pacey discreetly gave her a kiss on the cheek. Dawson was oblivious, as always.

"So, Jo, do you think you're up to having dinner with all of us?" Bessie asked.

"Yeah, Jen's going to come, too. She said she's sorry she couldn't make it to the airport to greet you, though," Dawson told Joey.

"Sure, I'm up for it. Let's go!" Joey agreed brightly. She really wasn't, but she wanted to spend some more time with Dawson and Pacey.

*Why didn't I just go home and sleep?* Joey thought to herself at the restaurant. She'd hesitated sitting next to Dawson, but knew she had to. She couldn't concentrate on just Dawson, though. She kept glancing at Pacey, and it was getting almost unbearable. She had to refrain herself from just blurting out her feelings to Pacey. But she didn't even know what those feelings were.

"I have to go to the ladies' room," Joey announced, yearning for an escape.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jen asked.

"Um, no, that's OK, I can do it by myself," Joey said, half-jokingly. She'd never understood why girls always went to the bathroom in groups, what was the point? Jen just laughed and continued eating. Joey glanced at Pacey for a brief moment as she got up from her chair.

After a minute, Pacey excused himself as well. He walked up the stairs to where the bathrooms were. He found Joey standing in the small area outside the bathrooms.

"Hey, Pacey," she said weakly.

"I take it you wanted to see me?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Pace, I am so sorry. You must be really uncomfortable watching me and Dawson."

"Actually, I was only watching you," he whispered, stepping closer. She could feel her resolve melt.

"I can't do this," she mumbled. "I can't do this to Dawson, or to myself. I love him, and the last thing I want is for him to be hurt. Especially by you and me."

"I know, Joey, but I can't help it. If I could turn my feelings off like a switch, believe me, I would. Do you really think I enjoy torturing myself and potentially hurting Dawson?"

"I know you don't, Pacey. We should probably go back downstairs, they'll start to wonder."

"OK. Should we do one of those You go first things?" Pacey joked, trying to relieve the tension, but failing.

"Um, yeah, you go first, cuz guys usually don't take as long as women."

"OK," Pacey agreed. He started to turn towards the stairs, but spun around again. "Jo?"

"Yeah, Pace?"

He stepped closer until he was inches away from her. He didn't know that someone was about to see them, or else he wouldn't have done what he was about to do. "Nothing," he whispered. Then he wrapped Joey in his arms and kissed her passionately. Joey put her arms around Pacey's neck, all thoughts of Dawson flying out of her mind. Pacey backed her up against the wall as they continued to kiss, not thinking that someone might see them, not thinking about consequences, just living in that one moment. When they broke apart, they were both out of breath, and stared at each other. Joey suddenly heard the song that was playing in the restaurant, as if it were an omen...

....I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come...oh, what I need is a good defense, cuz I'm feeling like a criminal, and I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against, because he's all I have in lieu of love ....

"Hey guys!" Pacey and Joey jumped at the sound of the voice.

"Um, hi, hey," they both greeted the intruder. He stepped into the men's room and Pacey and Joey finally exhaled. "You think he saw us?" Joey asked.

"I'm not sure, it seemed like he just came up the staircase."

"Just go back to the table, I'll be down in a minute."

Pacey headed down the stairs, and a flustered Joey ran back into the ladies' room to splash some water on her face. What the hell did she just do?

Joey sat back down at the table, and smiled at Dawson. He placed his arm around her and kissed her cheek. She wanted to die right there. She hated herself. Here she was with the greatest guy, whom she'd been in love with for years, and who was also her best friend in the entire world, and she was kissing Pacey! She vowed to tell Pacey that this could never EVER happen again.

"Cliff!" Jen exclaimed, as she spotted her boyfriend walking though the restaurant.

"Hey, Jen!" Cliff said, stopping by the table. He greeted everyone, and then looked at Joey, "I didn't know you and Pacey were going out."

Everyone turned to look at her. "Well," she started nervously, "that's because we're not. I'm going out with Dawson."

"But.." Cliff began.

"Cliff, my man, how's training going? Getting ready for football season?" Pacey interjected. Joey let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She knew Cliff could go on forever about football, and by the time he was finished, he'd completely forget about Joey and Pacey.

After a few minutes, Cliff said good-bye to everyone and went back to his family. Dawson turned to Joey. "That's odd, I wonder why he asked about you and Pacey."

"Random gossip, I guess. I just got back and already they have some ludicrous story. I mean, me and Pacey, come on!" she laughed in an attempt to hide her fear.

"Yeah, Dawson, don't believe everything you hear. I'd never have a chance with the lovely lady sitting by your side," he said lightly. Joey could sense the sadness in his voice though. She longed to reach over and touch his hand in a comforting gesture, but she knew that she couldn't. Ever.

Everyone resumed eating, and even though Dawson thought that Pacey calling Joey a "lovely lady" was a little strange, he brushed it aside. Jen, however, suspected there was more to this "random gossip" than either Pacey or Joey was letting on, and she resolved to ask Cliff to finish that explanation he'd started.

Joey spent the entire next day with Dawson. He'd planned a romantic picnic for them at the ruins, because he'd learned the owners were away. Joey felt guilty the whole day, but at the same time, she observed Dawson and questioned herself. *Was Pacey right? Has loving Dawson simply become a habit? Am I just so used to it that I'm clinging to it like it's real?* She brushed the thoughts aside, as Dawson approached her with a single rose he'd bought her. A single white rose. Her favorite. Dawson was so wonderful, what was she doing cheating on him? With one of his best friends! She knew that what had happened with Pacey could never ever happen again, and she wouldn't let it. But last night, she hadn't been able to help it. It was like there was this electricity between her and Pacey, and she was just drawn to him...

"Earth to Joey?" Dawson teased.

"Huh? Oh, Dawson, thanks for the rose, I love it," Joey answered distractedly.

"You're welcome," he smiled. He leaned over and kissed her lightly. It turned into more very quickly, and soon Dawson was lightly pushing Joey to the ground. "I love you, Joey."

"I love you, too..." she trailed off as she realized she had been about to say "Pacey." She quickly opened her eyes and pushed Dawson off of her, feeling like the cruelest person in the world. Should she tell him? No, it was never going to happen again, she was going to be happy with Dawson. She would NOT become involved with Pacey Witter.

"Jo, what's the matter?" Dawson asked, worried by her reaction.

Joey smiled reassuringly. "Nothing, Dawson. Let's just eat."

Meanwhile, Jen was having lunch with Cliff over at the S.S. Icehouse.

"So, Cliff, yesterday when you said something about Joey and Pacey, what was that all about?" she inquired, trying to sound nonchalant.

He leaned closer, as if he was telling her a secret. "Are you sure she's going out with Dawson?"

"99.9 percent. Why?"

"I'm not sure if I should mention anything, then." Being Cliff, he did anyway. "I saw Pacey and Joey kissing last night, upstairs by the restrooms." Jen choked on the soda she'd been sipping. "You OK, Jen?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she said, calming down. "Are you sure it was them? Are you sure they were kissing?"

"Jen, I know what a kiss looks like, and let me tell you, there was no mistaking that THAT was a kiss! I even said hi to them."

Jen sat back in disbelief. "This is going to kill Dawson."

"Are you sure you should tell him, Jen?"

"He's one of my closest friends, Cliff, I have to tell him." She sighed. "I can't believe Joey would do that to him!" "Hey, Pacey's in on it, too, ya know, it takes two to tonsil!"

Jen looked at him strangely, but let it go. "Do you think I should really tell Dawson?"

"It's up to you," Cliff said, inhaling a burger. Jen had to make a decision.

Dawson took Joey home, and kissed her good night. She stared after him, wondering how she could've ever thought of hurting him.

"Joey?" she heard a voice whisper.

"Pacey? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to take you to see my new apartment."

"Pacey, I really shouldn't..." But once again she found herself drawn to him by some invisible chemistry. She completely forgot that she was supposed to tell him that last night could not repeat itself. She suddenly found herself walking beside Pacey, and into his apartment.

"Pacey, I shouldn't be here. I'm afraid we'll do something we'll regret."

"It's too late for that, Jo," he murmured softly. He began to run his fingers through her hair. "I can't help it, Jo, it's torture trying to hide my feelings for you. I have to be with you." He leaned down and kissed her passionately. After a minute, Pacey broke away and whispered, "I love you, Jo."

"I love Dawson," she mumbled unconvincingly.

"Then why are you kissing me?" he said as he leaned down and kissed her again.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cuz I know that you'd feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When's everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand ...