I Never Promised You a Rose Garden
Part 4 in the Series
by Theresa

Background: Joey went to France, and she and Pacey wrote some more than friendly letters while she was away. She came back and is going out with Dawson, but having an affair with Pacey, which Cliff knows about, and he told Jen.

Disclaimer: DC and its characters are not mine. The song "Everybody Hurts" is by R.E.M. Send comments/feedback to Peace126@aol.com.



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Joey and Pacey continued to kiss in his apartment and inadvertently walked towards the couch. They both fell onto the sofa, so consumed by what they're doing that they didn't even notice someone knocking on the door.

Jen finally gave up and opened the unlocked door. She gasped at the sight in front of her, so loudly that Joey and Pacey jumped apart.

"Oh my God..." Jen blurted out in disbelief.

"Jen, this isn't what it looks like at all," Joey tried, even though she knew Jen would never buy into that cliche.

"I cannot believe you two! Do you have any idea what this is going to do to Dawson!?"

"Going to do? Oh, please, Jen, don't say you're going to tell him!" Pacey pleaded.

"I have to, Pacey, I'm his friend. I thought you guys were, too!" she cried as she ran out of the apartment.

"Jen, wait!" Joey ran out of the apartment and caught up with her. "Jen, please. If he has to hear it, I'll tell him. You don't even know how guilty I feel about this. I understand that he deserves to know, just let me do it. I need to explain this to him."

Jen stood there, thinking for a moment. "OK," she finally relented. "I'm going to trust you to tell him, but remember that if you don't tell him soon, I will!"

"Thanks, Jen, I swear that I will tell him as soon as I figure out how." With that, the two girls separated. Joey waited for Jen to be out of sight before she walked back into Pacey's.

Pacey shot up from the couch as she walked in. "So what's going on?"

"I begged Jen not to tell him, I promised her that I would."

"What are you going to tell him?" Pacey asked cautiously.

Joey thought about it for a minute, and then finally answered, "I'm going to tell him that I can't be with him anymore."

Pacey hugged her comfortingly. "I'm sorry this had to happen, Jo."

"It's OK, Pace, it's not your fault. I should've told him how I felt as soon as I got back. You were right, loving Dawson has just become so much of a habit that I didn't even realize I wasn't in love with him anymore."

They sat there for a few minutes, and then Joey stood up to go.

"Are you going to tell him now? Should I come with you?" Pacey asked.

"No, I'll do it myself. But not tonight, I have to think about how to tell him. How to explain why I did this, without hurting him too much. Oh, what am I saying, this is going to kill him!"

"It's OK. I'll be right here when it's over." He kissed her good-bye, and she went home to think about how exactly she was going to break her best friend's heart.

The next day, Dawson invited Joey over to his house to hang out while his parents were gone. Joey accepted reluctantly, knowing that she had to tell him about her and Pacey. They sat and talked in his house, but Joey couldn't really focus on what he was saying. She was trying to think of how to break the devastating news.

"You know what I mean, Jo? On that show Relativity, Karen was technically cheating on Alan, but no one really saw it as bad, because they could tell that Karen and Doug were just meant to be together. I mean, you had to forgive them. I think if that happened to me though, I'd probably react the same way Alan did. You can't exactly think reasonably when you're the one in the situation."

Joey almost died. Now what was she supposed to do?

"Dawson, I think we need to talk," she began shakily.

"About what, Jo?" Dawson asked innocently.

"Well, see.."

"Oh, hey, I almost forgot! Cliff and Jen invited us all to go to the movies tomorrow night, wanna go?"

"Dawson, I don't really think I can."

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun. We can sit in the back row.." he trailed off and kissed her cheek. "Funny, I always thought that was rude, but now that I'm in a relationship myself, with a person I really care about, I can understand it."

"Um, Dawson, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She crawled out the window before he could say anything.

Jen glanced out her window and saw Joey come out of Dawson's. She decided to go over to see if he needed to talk.

"Hey, Dawson," she greeted him as she came through the window.

"Oh, hey, Jen, what's up?"

"I saw Joey come out of your window. Are you OK?"

"Of course, Jen, why wouldn't I be OK?" Dawson laughed.

Jen thought this was suspicious. "Joey did tell you, didn't she?"

"Tell me what?"

"Oh, God, I can't believe this!" Jen said, annoyed.

"Jen, calm down, what are you talking about?"

"OK, Dawson, you better sit down," she said, as she pushed him onto his bed. "Do you remember that night at the restaurant when Joey came back, and Cliff said something about Pacey and Joey?"

"Oh, yeah, that stupid rumor. Did you set him straight on that?"

"Dawson, Cliff wasn't talking about a rumor. He was basing it on what he saw." Jen watched for Dawson's reaction. Dawson was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Cliff saw them that night. He saw Pacey and Joey kissing in the restaurant, when they went up to the restrooms."

Dawson immediately got defensive and began to move frantically around the room. "Maybe Cliff should get his eyes checked. He doesn't know what he saw."

"Dawson, I saw them, too."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Jen! Joey is going out with me!" he yelled.

"Dawson, will you listen to me? This is the truth! Both Cliff and I saw Joey and Pacey kissing. I would not lie to you about this."

"Of course you would, Jen. You were trying to get me back the second me and Joey started to get together. You're doing this on purpose!"

Jen's eyes began to tear up. "Fine, Dawson, believe what you want. Why don't you go over to Pacey's house, see what your old pal is up to, huh? I'm sure you'll find it interesting!" she cried, as she went back out the window. Dawson stared after her, angered. Then he ran out of the room and grabbed his coat.

Joey was sitting on Pacey's couch, talking to him about what had happened with Dawson and how she'd chickened out at the last minute.

"We're going to have to tell him, Jo," Pacey mumbled.

"I know, I know, but you had to see him. I couldn't bear to take away that look in his eyes, he looked so happy, Pacey," Joey sighed.

"We have to do this, Jo. Unless you're having second thoughts about breaking up with Dawson..."

"Pacey, please don't do that. It's just hard, we've been best friends practically our whole lives, and I just don't want to hurt him."

"OK, I understand," Pacey agreed. They hugged and turned on the TV, just to sit and hang out. Joey cuddled up next to Pacey, and he put his arm around her shoulder. At that moment, Dawson stormed through the door.

"So it's true, isn't it?!" he shouted at the sight before him. Pacey and Joey quickly separated.

"Dawson, Joey and I were just watching TV," Pacey explained nervously.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Pacey! Jen told me everything! First my mother, and now you! Does no one believe in monogamy anymore!? I can't believe you would do this to me, either of you! You're supposed to be my best friends!"

Joey could've lied and said that Jen was making it up. That Jen just got Cliff to lie for her. That she loved only him. But she knew that wouldn't do them any good. She stood up slowly and walked over to Dawson, her vision beginning to blur through her tears.

"I'm so sorry, Dawson."

Dawson looked at her in disbelief. She had actually confirmed his suspicions. He had hoped and prayed that he was just being paranoid, that Jen was a liar. He didn't know what to do, he walked frantically around the room, and then turned to Pacey.

"How could you do this to me? How could you take her away from me, when you know how much I love her? You're the one who got me to realize it, and then you do this!"

"Dawson," Pacey began calmly, "it wasn't a plot or anything. It just happened. I swear, I never meant for this to happen, but I love her, too, Dawson. I'm sorry."

Dawson stared at Pacey for a moment and then punched him in the face. "Don't you ever even try to come near me again," he spat. He ran to the door, Joey following, trying to stop him.

"Please let me explain, Dawson. I do love you, you're my best friend in the whole world," Joey pleaded, tears falling from her eyes.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that right now, Jo." He stared at Pacey getting up from the floor. "Go help your new man, Jo." He laughed. "And all that time, you said stuff about Jen. You're no better." He knew that he hurt her, and right then, that was what he wanted. With that last comment, he slammed the door behind him.

Dawson ran back into his house and into the bathroom. He locked the door. slowly, he lifted his arm and exposed his wrist. He grabbed a razor from the medicine cabinet, holding it right above his arm. Then he stopped and stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes bore into his reflection for a full 5 minutes, and he saw the events of his life before him. He saw the first time he met Joey..

The little girl sat on the swing set all alone at recess. Dawson didn't know anyone in his class, so he walked over to her.

"Hi, what's your name?"

The little girl looked up with a tear-stained face. "Joey."

"Your name is Joey?"

"Yeah, is there a problem?" she said, looking tough. Dawson got a little scared, and shook his head no.

"My name's Dawson."

"Stupid name," she muttered.

"It is not!" He paused and then said, "I don't know anybody here."

"Me either. I don't like it here."

"Well, now you know me, and I know you, right?"

Joey looked up with a vague smile. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So now we can be best friends."

"OK," Joey said. And they started to play on the swings together, bonded for life.

Dawson stared at himself in the mirror. For so long, they had been best friends. He didn't want to lose that, but she had hurt him so much... He stared at the razor in his hand, and remembered...

Joey's mother had died and today the Leerys were attending the funeral. Dawson went over to Joey's house, to see if he could comfort her again. Last time he'd gone to see her, she had yelled at him to go away.

Bessie let him into the house and he walked upstairs to Joey's room. "Joey?" he called as he opened the door. "Oh my God, Jo!" he said as he ran over to her. She had a razor in her hand, her sleeve rolled up, and she was crying.

"Go away, Dawson, you just don't understand," she said, turning away from him.

"Joey, please, think about this. You don't want to kill yourself. If you killed yourself, I'd kill myself, and we'd have a mania throughout the town," he tried. "Jo, please listen to me. You're my best friend, now and forever, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"You 're just saying that now, Dawson. One day we'll have a fight, and we won't be best friends anymore."

"That'll never happen, Jo, you're too important to me. No matter what either of us does, I swear we'll always be best friends. I don't ever want to lose you. Promise?"

Joey looked up at him with a tear-stained face, like she had the first time he met her, when they were both so naive to life. "I promise," she whispered. She dropped the razor, and Dawson held her as they walked downstairs.

Dawson looked at himself in the mirror again, then down at the razor. He let it drop out of his hand, and he ran into his room. He turned on the radio as Joey was coming up the ladder.

"Dawson?" she asked nervously.

"Joey," he called. She looked up at him, her face stained with tears once more.

"Dawson, I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose our friendship. Please, you're so important to me, more important than anyone else in my life. Including Pacey."

Dawson flinched slightly at the name, but let it go. "Jo, you hurt me. I don't know if I can trust you again..."

Joey waited, scared of what he would say next.

"...but we've been through too much together to just let it all self-destruct."

Joey sighed with relief, and allowed herself a smile. "You don't know how much that means to me, Dawson," she murmured through tears. They joined in a hug, as a song continued to play on the radio.

When the day is long, and the night

The night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough of this life

Well, hang on

Don't let yourself go

Everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (hold on)

When you think you've had too much of this life

Well, hang on

Everybody hurts, Take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts, Don't throw your hand

Oh, no, don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone,

No, no, no, You are not alone

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much of this life

To hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on....Hold on...Hold on...

The End