The Story of Chinu

I was born in Hollywood, Florida in 1981, but I moved to Gainesville, Florida a few months later. I have absolutely no memory of my life in Hollywood. I lived in Gainesville for almost all of my early childhood. At that point, I was a typical kid, enjoying life. I had many friends that my parents had made for me when I was one or two years old, as all kids do. I was good friends with them, and I used to play with them a lot. I made friends at school, and I basically loved life in Gainesville. However, my ability to begin conversations and meet people began to diminish as I grew older. I, like many children, had the friends that I had, and that was all that I needed. I was fairly popular at my synagogue also, where my parents and I were very active. However, in September of 1990, only days into the beginning of fourth grade, I found out I was moving to Roanoke, Virginia. This was a day that I still remember clearly. In many ways, it shattered the life that I had in Gainesville. I was miserable, and I hated my parents for doing this to me.

On November 1, 1990, we moved to Roanoke. I was scared, as most kids are. I think that this was the first inklings of chinuism. I was friendless for a few weeks, as all new kids are, and I began to take pride in myself and get used to being a loner. I didn’t enjoy it of course, but I learned how to live with it. I met David Henderson very quickly, though, and he has meant more to me through the years than anyone else I met up there. Fourth and fifth grades were strange years for me. Roanoke is a strange city, to say the least. It is not very culturally diverse, and a Jewish kid was looked upon differently by the majority of classmates, and even teachers. I remember going Christmas caroling during school. Of course, I couldn’t refuse, because that would draw attention to myself. David and I remained friends during this period, but we tended to argue much. I became a little afraid of him at times. I also met many other people during this time, some of which became “enemies” later.

Middle school presented new challenges, but it was also the formal beginning of chinuism. Now that you know some of the background of it, I can begin to explain it to you. I was a member of Boy Scouts during that time, as was David. I had been practicing chinu for several weeks, and before a meeting, I revealed it to David. It had been snowing that week, and we proceeded to have a snowball fight. It was without a doubt the most fun I had had in years. We were both overcome with emotion while we were playing. Chinuism, at least in the eyes of us two sixth graders, was alive and well. We decided to show it to the world in a commercial we did for some class. David has the text of that commercial which was typed up by my hands over 5 years ago. Of course, no one really understood but us. There was one other boy, named Bryan, who seemed interested.

During that year, we wrote up a dictionary of chinu terms. Each word (with a few exceptions) ended in -inu. It was fairly simple. Each person could be labeled with various words. That dictionary was unfortunately lost at some point in the past, but I can tell you this: chinu was a cool person....minu was the opposite. Each word could be traced back to those two words. Don’t get me wrong; these were not set in stone. Many people began as chinus and were demoted, and many did the opposite. It was simply up to David and me as to whether or not someone was a chinu or minu. Looking back, I truly miss those days. Chinuism was something that we were able to take for granted, and now I am so happy that I have it.

Seventh, eighth, and ninth grades proved to be very strange. For one, I met many new people, but the fact that kids were not used to Jewish people came back to haunt me. A group of kids decided one day, out of pure ignorance, that they didn’t like Jewish people. I was fairly small, and I wore glasses. So, I was a very easy target. While they never physically harmed me, I was the recipient of many insults and other rude gestures. It was not easy for me, but I grew accustomed to it. Many times, I would take solace in chinuism. When the kids would bother me, I would just think of chinu and be happy. It was something that I had that they couldn’t take away from me. The kids, however, didn’t bother me as much. What bothered me was that they decided to pick on my friends because of their associations with me. My friends, especially David, would even be hit or punched by these kids. They received more punishment than I did. David is the best person I know. He continued to stand by me, even when it meant taking a beating. The principal of my school was not able to handle these kids effectively, so it was me and my friends who had to handle it. Each day, I would be forced to bear this burden of knowing that I caused my friends so much harm. Without chinuism, I would have been lost. I was truly lucky. Even today, I hate myself for what I put my friends through. I should have done something about it, but I was not in that situation. If I knew then what I know now, I would have happily taken every punch thrown to one of my friends and every threat. It eats me up inside that they had to do that.

Chinuism, however, was alive and well within me during this time. Let me just give you a simple rundown of the chinuistic beliefs and “customs”. Chinuists do not form judgments on people without witnessing their behavior first hand. We are tolerant people, but we do not simply love everyone. There are many many minus out there, but no one is assigned to a class without us seeing them first. It is unfair to judge someone without any cause. We believe in having fun, which does not include illegal substances. I am probably the only person to have never done those things, but as a chinuist, I am against it. We believe that any religion is fine as long as it is fervently practiced by its people. Nothing angers me more than to see people call themselves Jewish and not know the first thing about it. Chinuists get together on every possible occasion, and they do their best to get along with each other. No, we do not just simply agree on everything, but conflicts are always settled. Chinuists attempt to recruit those that they think are worthy, but these people can be thrown out at any time. You mustn’t think, though, that chinuism is exclusive. Anyone can practice it. It is just something for people to do to cheer them up and to make them realize that all is not bad with the world.

I can’t say that I hated middle school, however. Yes, there were many many bad times, but I also made many good friend that I still keep in touch with regularly. I love those people up there. They are all chinus in my mind. Of course, as you saw earlier, my life can’t stay good for too long. My chinuistic beliefs were tested again when my parents informed me that I would be moving here, to Jacksonville.

I have not been so lucky that past few years in my social endeavors. The kids here are not so nice, nearly all minus. I miss Roanoke a lot, but when I think of chinuism, it makes me realize what I do have. That is the power of chinuism. A person can be having rough times, but they can still be happy with life. Right now, I am slowly making progress in making friends here, but I am anticipating next year and my trip to college. I plan to keep chinuism in my life even then.

Even though I made it up, chinuism is still the best idea to come into my life. I hold it very close to me, and I always uphold its principles. I think that the world needs more things like this. Anyone can make their own rules as long as they agree with the basic ideas. I am forever thankful to David and my other friends for making me realize how important chinuism is to life. I encourage you to at least consider it during stressful times. It can always come in handy. Chinuism is something that will always exist in my mind, and I would love to spread its ideas to others.

If you are interested in it, or if you have any comments, please contact David, and he will relay the message to me. Please consider bringing it into your life. It has few rules; this means that it can be practiced in conjunction with almost all other religions.

------Jonathon Cohen December 15, 1997

As we grew stronger in our beliefs, we attempted to make it more elaborate. Although this concept is the downfall of many religions (and eventually led to the near extinction of Chinuism), Jonathon and I never ever lost that original feeling and belief in fun and happiness, and most importantly, we never let rules or dogmas over-shadow it. The first attempt to establish a belief system was to create a dictionary of Chinu terms. The concept was simple: all words ended in "Inu." This led to the word "Minu" which is the opposite of Chinu. Minu's were people who got caught up in negative feelings and problems and could not allow themselves to let go of all this and be happy. This category also included people who were mean or destructive in any way, shape, or form. In essence, Chinus were cool and Minus were not. However, this was not a caste system since people frequently moved from High Chinu to Low Minu. There were several other terms included in the dictionary. "Iinu," meaning a person who is really laid back and doesn't really give a damn about other people yet is still very cool (I think), was instantly applied to our friend Bryan Graves. For some reason, disco was a part of Chinuism... you can figure that one out for yourself. The only other word I remember was the word "Ninu." However, I have no idea what Ninu means because the dictionary itself was lost over time. The words, however, could be strung together to form complex descriptions. For example, "Disco Iinu" was the term commonly used to describe Bryan. Finally, the term "Rinu Ranu!" came about. It was simply the expression of ultimate happiness.

I guess that now is a good time to explain the reasoning behind Chinuism. To put it bluntly... Junior High Sucked. The three of us were constantly abused physically and verbally by a group of peers who chose to hate us because we were different. There was no place that the three of us truly fit it, and Jonathon was singled out because he was Jewish. I personally remember being given elaborate newspaper cut-and-paste death threats in my locker, and I always feared the gym locker room for I had the tendency to leave with a multitude of bruises. While Bryan received basically the same abuse I did, Jonathon had it the worst. He was attacked for being Jewish and for no other reason, but he handled it better than any of us. There is no way I could have dealt with these situations the way Jonathon did, and I will forever hold him in the highest respect for this... We also had considerable problems with the more popular kids. They simply hated us because we weren't as "good" as them or as well of as them. With all this pressing down upon us, we needed an escape. Drugs, alcohol, and smoking were not the answer because that was a strictly Minu characteristic, and so was hurting other people to make ourselves feel good. This is why we believed (and still believe) in Chinuism. It was a bond that transcended all barriers and held us together, and no one could ever break this bond. It was also something we had to hold dear to ourselves. We could start talking about Chinu things using Chinu words and no one would understand what we were saying. This too felt good. Most importantly, it was an escape for us. It taught us how to escape from the problems of our everyday lives and lose ourselves in joy, happiness, and craziness. We developed the ability to just let go of our pain and be crazy and happy. It was the greatest feeling I have ever known.

The first ever "public" appearance of Chinu was in a 6th grade commercial for some class (this too I don't remember). Our instructions were to create a product and advertise it. A special person was publicized in this commercial, and his name was Chinu Man. Chinu Man was the epitome of Chinu. As a mystical person who embraced Chinuism to the fullest extend, he was always crazy and happy. In essence, he was who we were striving to be. All religions have these kinds of people be it Taoist Masters, Gods, Goddesses, or Buddha, they're all there. What follows is the actual commercial dialog which was written by Jonathon, Bryan, and Myself on Jonathon's computer:

Scene 1
B=(walking down hall,sees friends)Hi guys!
D=aw,man! Someone forgot their deodorant
B=(sniffs armpits)Oh,it must be me,sorry guys.
J=Let's get out of here!

Scene 2
B=(at home) Well,I got that new deodorant, lets see if it works. (puts it on)(smells armpits) Wow,I smell good! No wonder all my friends use this new Smell Deodorant by Chinu Inc.

Scene 3
B=(at locker)(friends come by)
J=Wow you smell good
D=It's a miracle! (move into position)
J=Yes this new Smell deodorant is guaranteed to give you long lasting odor protection
All=(tune of Popeye)It,s strong to the finish because it doesn't smell like spinach, it's smell deodorant.toot toot
All=by Chinu

This skit was shown school wide twice: once right after it was taped in the 6th grade, and once in the 9th grade as an attempt to embarrass the freshman who were going on to high school. Jonathon claims that this event led to the downfall of Chinuism. My only explanation for this is that it signified the transition of Chinuism from a philosophy to a practicable belief. This event ruins all great ideas, and if you need an example, just look at Communism or any world-wide religion.

Chinuism never really went anywhere after that. Jonathon and I held onto the beliefs and tried to start somewhat of a religion, but it didn't work. The last Chinu event that I can remember was when we prank called the Bratchers and gave the phone to Jonathon. He yelled out, "Rinu Ranu!" and we hung up the phone. This was the last time the idea of Chinu was mentioned outside of Jonathon and I.

Today, I still hold all the beliefs of Chinuism. It's always been a part of me and always will be. At times I find it very hard to escape the problems that I am faced with in life and become incredibly depressed. The reason that I fall into this trap is that I forget that life's not worth living depressed. The nature of problems is this. If they exist, find a solution and carry it out. There is no need for whining or depression about anything. If you can fix a problem do it but don't obsess and worry about it in the process, and if there's a problem you can't fix... why in the world are you worrying about it in the first place. Once I realize this, I can cast my problems aside, forget about my troubles, and go and have a crazy fun time. You have to be careful though, because the Minus will try as hard as they can to bring you down... don't ever let them. You must understand that there is no situation that you can't make enjoyable. We've all been there at one time or another. You know, in that state of pure happiness where your problems are non-existent. Some reach it through meditation, athletic processes, true love, sex, and sometimes we just have an incredible event happen in our lives and get lost in the moment... it really doesn't matter. The point is that this state of pure happiness does exist and we should strive to live our lives in this state, or at least most of it. I for one will always hold Chinu as an important part of my life, and as something that makes life worth living. Find it my friends... it's out there.