

                               MARRIAGE: Inner & Outer
                                   January 27, 1964
                           and a wedding talk March 4, 1969
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          ALL Masters say that marriage is a sacrament, not a contract.
          This system began ages back. We are entering into life. For that,
          Masters always enjoin that we must have good lives: we should be
          righteous; that is, have good thoughts, good words and good
          deeds. All scriptures tell us that outer marriage means taking a
          companion in life for weal or woe on this earthly sojourn to help
          each other to know God, which is the highest aim before us in the
          man-body. One duty of marriage may be that of begetting children;
          it is not 100% of our duties. We need a companion in life.
          Whoever God unites, let God disunite. It is the unseen hand of
          God working behind it, that brings two souls together to wind up
          the give and take of the reactions of their past.

          But marriage is meant for a higher purpose of the union of soul
          with God. All scriptures and all religions tell us that. The Sikh
          scriptures have given as the first step that we should have
          righteous lives: good thoughts, good words and good deeds; and
          love for all: not to hurt the feelings of anybody. Naturally,
          love knows service and sacrifice. One who loves knows only to
          give, give and give: to help himself and to help others, too. An
          ethical life, with the normal duties of a householder, is a
          steppingstone to spirituality. The ultimate goal is to know God,
          and we should help each other to know God. The first step is an
          ethical life.

          We have joined various schools of thought or religions for the
          purpose of having spirituality. What is spirituality? We are
          spirit in man. Spirituality is the subject of analyzing spirit
          from the bondage of mind and outgoing faculties, to know
          ourselves and then to know God. God cannot be known by
          observation: "You cannot enter the kingdom of God by
          observation." These are the elementary steps of the outer
          religions we have taken up; the main purpose is to have love and
          devotion to God. Also, as God resides in every heart, and we are
          spirit in man, we should have love and regard for everyone: even
          of creatures, not to speak of men.

          With that object in view, what have we to do? The ultimate goal
          of union of the soul with God is the true marriage. Naturally, to
          be married in the outward way, you have to call for the minister.
          Here a minister is supposed to be a very holy man, and he knows
          about the marriage business. Similarly, for the inner, true
          marriage of soul with God, we need somebody who knows the way and
          who is adept in there, in that subject. So, learn to sit at the
          feet of somebody who has known God, because we want to know God.
          Those who have known God have all said the same thing; of course,
          in their own languages. But the purpose is the same. What do they
          say? Man is the highest in all creation, and the highest aim
          before us is to know God. Remain in any religion you like. This
          outer union of two bodies -embodied souls- together, is the first
          step toward the ultimate.

          The second step is to help each other to have union with God.
          That is the true marriage: the soul with God eternal. Mira Bai
          said, "I now have the eternal marriage with God; now I have
          nothing to fear. He is unchangeable permanence; so I have a
          marriage that will never break."

          For that marriage, you will naturally need somebody who has that
          inner contact or achievement. Call him by any name you like: you
          might call him a minister or a Master or anything. He is supposed
          to have known God. In all churches, ministers are meant for that
          purpose. They should unite with God and help others to unite with
          God.

          So, have pure lives and guidance: sit at the feet of somebody who
          has known God. What will he do? Naturally, if he has known God,
          he will know what are the helping and what are the retarding
          factors to the union of the soul with God. He will tell you how
          to withdraw the outward attention, which is the expression of the
          soul and which is now devoted to the world, from the outside and
          then how to rise above body consciousness and come in contact
          with God, Who is already there. Such a soul becomes enlivened,
          you might say; the other souls are dead. (The attention of the
          soul, which is diffused in the world, becomes so identified with
          it, that it materializes.) They have died from the sense of
          consciousness; they are always thinking of matter and of outside
          things, they will know nothing further than that. Guru Nanak
          says, "Only he is alive, 0 Nanak, who is awakened, who is
          conscious of God": as I see you and you see me. Only such a man
          is living; others are dead. This is also what Christ meant by
          "soul dies." Soul does not die; this is the meaning behind it.

          The first step is to follow outer righteousness: have chaste
          lives, truthfulness, love for all, and service and sacrifice for
          the sake of others. The first step is taken when you have this
          kind of life and you sit at the feet of somebody who knows the
          way-who knows God, who is united with God and whose soul is
          married to God, you might say. I think you remember that in your
          biblical scriptures, some of the saints said, "Christ has given
          me a ring." That is the elementary step: the soul's marriage to
          God. They became conscious of it, and they thought that their
          soul was married to God. When you have taken that step, consider
          that it is the first step: you are married to God; your soul is
          married.

          The second step is what He gives you. He gives you a contact with
          the God-power within, which is called Word. The outer expression
          of Word has two aspects: Light and Sound. He gives you a contact
          with them. The result is that, day by day, you get more and more
          bliss and enchantment within yourself. Naturally, you become more
          attached inside and less outside. The result is that Sound begins
          to reverberate, and you hear. That is already reverberating, but
          we are not in contact with it. When you are given a contact with
          that Sound and Light Principle, you begin to bear that Sound all
          twenty-four hours of the day and night, without closing your
          ears. The result of contacting that eternal Sound or Music of the
          Spheres is that you are become more attached to that higher bliss
          than to the outside; then you are in the world and yet out of it.
          This is the first result. Passions do not assail you, because you
          have more bliss inside: your attention is always drawn by that
          higher power within you. You will feel that you are in the world
          and yet out of it. Just as, if you sit by fire, all cold is gone,
          and when you sit by ice, all heat is gone, similarly, the more
          you come in contact with the Light and Sound Principle within,
          the more you will become unattached to the world, and all
          passions will begin to leave you. When you have that realization
          in your life-that you are in the world and yet out of it-you take
          the second step towards the union of the soul with God.

          What happens further? You begin to see Him within this temple of
          God, the man-body. You see that the Light is within you, and you
          also hear the Music of the Spheres. Then, when that expands, you
          see that the whole of creation is the temple of God. Wherever you
          look, He is there, and there is no place where He is not. That
          inner vision opens. When you see God within and all around you,
          you sometimes feel as if you forget yourself. When that
          realization comes, you have taken the third step toward the union
          of your soul with God.

          And what comes last? You become one with God. You lose all
          individual consciousness, like a drop of water, which, when it
          unites with the river or ocean, becomes one with the ocean. Guru
          Ramdas said, "If there is such a man, who has become one with
          God, how would you define him?" He said, "Tell him that he is the
          same, that's all." This is the ultimate consummation of the soul
          with God: you become one with God; you see He is in you and you
          are in Him: "I and my Father are one." This is the ultimate
          feeling. Feeling? No, seeing. It is not even seeing-seeing
          remains in the third stage. The ultimate is that you become one
          with Him. It is becoming.

          This fourth stage is the ultimate goal. But still, those who
          attain that goal experience some duality. Shankara said, "0 God,
          I know there is no difference between You and me, but I am Thine,
          Thou art not mine; because a wave can be of the ocean, but the
          ocean cannot be of the wave." First, those who become one lose
          all "I-hood" and become the conscious co-worker of the divine
          plan; then, they become; they rise into Him. This is the ultimate
          consummation of soul with God: union with God.

          This is the higher form of religion within each one of us; and
          for it, we have joined various schools of thought or religions.
          They have been a helping factor to those who have attained that
          stage. In the Sikh scriptures, the four stages are given, step by
          step. Generally a teacher gives the first step, and in all
          religions they give a little reference to it. What do they say?
          "God has united you; let God disunite you." If you are together
          for the same goal, you will even live together after leaving the
          body, too. You are going the same way.

          These are the steps, step-by-step, that we have to take to reach
          that ultimate union with God, called the true marriage of soul
          with God. In the Sikh scriptures, both aspects are given: first,
          the outer ideal; and then, with that-because it is not the
          end-all-the further ideal of the union of soul with God.

          The grace of God working in some human pole-it is His grace
          alone-helps step-by-step to reach Him. If you meet such a Master
          in whom God is manifest, that manifested God will help you to
          take up the way, step-by-step. First, you become a normal,
          righteous man. You sit at the feet of the Master; you obey His
          orders; you love Him. If you love anyone, you love his
          commandments. From Him you get the Bread of Life and the Water of
          Life: you become spiritually strong. This is the first step you
          have to take.

          The second step is when you become intoxicated with the Light and
          Sound Principle of God. You are in the world, yet out of it.
          Nothing can contaminate you. The next step is, that whatever you
          see within you, you begin to see all around: the whole world, the
          universe, is the temple of God.

          In the last step of all, first you become a conscious co-worker.
          You see that "I and my Father are one." But still, sometimes you
          take a dip in the ocean and you become one, and then again you
          feel, "I and my Father are one." Something has been given out by
          Masters as the ultimate goal, and that is to unite our souls with
          God: that is the true, higher form of marriage. If those two
          souls are put together, and their souls are married to God, they
          are one; they cannot be separated.

          This is something given out by almost all Masters. Love is not
          love that changeth from place to place. What is that love that
          changeth and is here today, there tomorrow? Christ said, "If you
          cannot love your brother whom you see, how can you love God whom
          you have not yet seen?" This is a form of outer marriage, which
          is a symbol of the higher marriage that you have to attain in due
          course. Blessed is the man who has had the man-body and his soul
          has united with God forever: he is one with God.

          This is what is meant by the goal. God has united you. Continue,
          and go on through weal or woe to help each other, with the
          ultimate goal being to know God. Maintain whatever children you
          have, and set your lives as an example, so that the children may
          copy you.

          Ever since I've come here, I've had the occasion to see three
          marriages. And others, also- hear me! Open your ears to see.
          Instead of running here, there, and everywhere, either be purely
          chaste, or, if not, be married; it would be better. That is the
          last thing I would advise you. Marriage does not mean, all along,
          a sensuous life. It is a very noble thing: a sacrament. Help each
          other. But running here, there, and everywhere is not a good
          example. Either remain 100% chaste: good-I'll wash your feet-or,
          if not, be married. That will help you on your way back to God.
          Christ said, "Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved
          the Church." This is the highest ideal before us, even as married
          persons.

          In the old days, in the times of the rishis, there were three
          grades of chastity. The lowest or third grade was of 12 years.
          The second grade was 24 years of complete celibacy. And the first
          grade was 48 years. Now, just look to our own selves. This is the
          power that makes body, mind and soul. We do not value this very
          important thing. We raise our buildings on sand. This is a very
          valuable thing: it is not meant to be given to a sensuous way of
          living. It is something that gives strength to your body, to your
          mind, to your soul. It is a very great helping factor.

          Marriage is very noble. You'll find that many Masters were
          married. They had one or two children, and that was all. When
          they took up the role of Mastership, they left off all of that.
          This is a very valuable thing. The pity is that these things are
          not taught. We think it is below our dignity. But these are the
          things which I think are sapping the very life of the coming
          generation. We should wake up: it is time. I request those who
          come here to be chaste and to have very righteous lives. If they
          are married, they should be married in the true sense of the
          marriage, and help each other to know God; that is all.

          For that purpose, they have the company of those who have
          succeeded that way. They can give you right guidance and can also
          help you on the way. And what is that helping? It is first the
          giving of the outer, righteous way of living and the inner,
          higher contact; and then, the development of it. First, we will
          see and find that the body is the temple of God. Then, that is
          developed further, and with open eyes we will see that the whole
          universe is the temple of God. And sometimes, in that
          intoxication, we will forget ourselves. So, it is a matter of
          seeing: not seeing, but becoming. The ultimate goal of soul is
          God.

          Masters have been giving such teachings, but we simply ruminate
          over them and do not go into the right import of what they
          taught. These are only ceremonies that are performed, and
          ordinarily they are taken very lightly; but they are very
          serious; they have some meaning behind them. From time to time I
          have been laying before you the digest, in a few words, of what I
          came to know intellectually and spiritually. Just strive to live
          up to it. Truth is above all, and true living is still above
          truth. If you have very chaste lives and a righteous way of
          living, you will have truth; and that will earn my pleasure, too,
          and the praise of all who see you. They will praise you, they
          will praise your school of thought, and they will praise the
          person at whose feet you sit. If you don't live up to them, you
          will simply spoil the good name of the school of thought and also
          the name of the Master at whose feet you sit.

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          The Master's Wedding Talk
          -March 4, 1969 Sawan Ashram

          Well, what does marriage mean?

          Marriage means taking a companion in life, in weal or woe, in our
          earthly sojourn. Both should meet God, the ultimate goal. First,
          we have to live very amicably, in a loving way, because God has
          united us, not any earthly power. It is the unseen hand of God
          that unites one with another. The girl is born somewhere; the man
          is born in the West somewhere; and that's the unseen hand of God
          which brings them together, as it happens now, as I told you, as
          a reaction of the past. I mentioned to you that Arran Stephens'
          great-grandfather was Governor in Punjab somewhere in the early
          nineteenth century. So that reaction of the past has brought them
          together here. So this is what has come before you. It is a
          reaction of the past. It is the unseen hand of God that has
          united both of them. Whom the God unites, let no earthly power
          separate. Let God only disunite, you see.

          So, first of all, they should have a companion in life. Let them
          work as one soul in two bodies--to have a happy life in their
          earthly sojourn. If any mistake is committed, 'All right, forgive
          me'--that's all. Forgiveness washes off everything. If any order
          is given, all right; you obey, there is no conflict. So if
          anything comes from above, then all right, it is His Will; we
          submit. These are three things which help us to carry on our
          earthly life in a happy way. And there are two or three things
          more which we have to adapt ourself. That is, we should be
          humble. 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the
          Kingdom of Heaven.' Humility is the first thing. How can we meet
          God? 'First humility, second humility, third humility.' We should
          have all virtues abide in us; we must have a life of
          righteousness. Righteousness means, good thoughts, good words,
          good deeds. For righteousness we should maintain pure lives, you
          see.

          "So these are the things required, you see. Sweet tongue honeyed
          with humility; that's the, I think, what can you say, the remedy
          for all ills in life. This is the first part of life, but how can
          that life be cemented, unless you get some food for your soul?
          You have got food for your body, you have become physically
          strong. You have got food for your intellect, you have become
          intellectually strong; but what food have you given to your soul?
          Soul is a conscious entity; its Bread of Life is to come in
          contact with All Consciousness and for that purpose we have just
          to meet some person, some son of man in whom that God is
          manifest--'Word is made flesh and dwelt amongst us.' He'll give
          you a contact with it, God into expression power. So all Masters
          say that in your earthly life, you love God. But we say we have
          not known God, seen God--how can we love Him? So for that purpose
          you will have to meet somebody like us--born in our way, the same
          way--in whom that God is manifest. So, manifested God in man, you
          have to meet--what will you do? He will first prescribe one
          thing. Why have you been coming into the world? Ever since we
          have left our Father's Home, it is the desires of the world that
          has attracted us here again and again and again, until you attain
          this man body in which you can again return to the Home of your
          Father. For that He says, 'All right, have sweet remembrance of
          God.' The world has been imbedded in our hearts in the
          subconscious reservoir of our mind, so much so that we dream
          those very things of the world. And we give out in our deep sleep
          state by muttering too. He says, "Have the sweet remembrance of
          God." Let your mind be depleted of the worldly thoughts and be
          filled so much so, that it overflows of the sweet remembrance of
          God; that's the first step. And second, Whom you remember, come
          in contact with That. There are so many words given out by
          Masters to denote that power which is One, which resides within
          every heart, which is reverberating everywhere and that's the
          controlling power within you-- controlling you in the body. Your
          body --this is a very wonderful house we live in, in which we
          have got so many apertures: two eyes, two ears, two nostrils,
          mouth and two underneath with all that we cannot run away out of
          it. Our breathing goes out, some power pushes it back into the
          body. And that controlling power resides in this very human body;
          and we also reside here. We have to know that power, which is
          called the God-into-Expression Power, Word or Naam. Word made
          flesh only can give you contact with that Word within you.

          So, when you see Him, with your inner eye, with your third eye or
          the single eye, you will just hear the Music of the Spheres
          reverberating in all creation. So that's the Bread of Life--the
          more you come in contact with this, the more love will overflow
          within you for God. Now, after that, what will you do? Where will
          you go? You will go only to Whom you have got that love. Hitherto
          we have been coming to the world again and again because it has
          been, we have love of the world, you see. So, for that, Godman
          gives you firstly the conduct of life, the way of life, how we
          have to conduct in life--that I have already described; and the
          other one, to come in contact with That. When you have that
          bliss, naturally that love will overflow in your lives. When that
          state comes in which you remember Him by any word, you'll be full
          of joy, sweetness within you. For instance, you have eaten one
          mango, very sweet, later on when you just hear the name of mango,
          because you have tasted that sweetness, again you'll feel
          sweetness within you. So Godman gives you contact with that
          sweetness of the Elixir of Life, the Priceless Jewel within each
          one of us; then naturally when you say, 'God, O God', you'll have
          sweetness within you. When you reach that stage, that is the
          first stage of your communion with God, everlasting in life, you
          see. Second stage will come when that Sound Principle, Music of
          the Spheres, becomes audible without closing your ears, all
          twenty-four hours of the day. You will see inside, you have
          developed that light within you with the Grace of the Master.
          When you develop, you begin to see that light outside too. Then
          that second stage will come of your, you might say, matrimony
          with God, your soul's matrimony with God. Third stage will come
          when you'll see Him within and outside, everywhere--the whole
          world is an expression of Him. You'll go in raptures when you see
          all the world over. Then you'll feel while in the world, outer
          things won't attract you, you'll feel detached. Then a time will
          come when you'll see virtues and evils and everything and you
          remain unattached. When that stage has arrived then the third
          stage of your communion with God is developed. Last of all,
          you'll sit down: inside, outside, everywhere you'll see Him.
          You'll hear the same melody reverberating throughout all
          creation, the Music of the Spheres, and you'll sometimes be
          absorbed in Him, you'll forget your own self, all ego will go,
          then that is the permanent soul's matrimony with God.

          This is what is meant by the four turnings around (the circle).
          The first stage is like that, second, third and fourth. Truly
          speaking, the true soul's matrimony with God is realized, you
          see. So this is a ritual amongst the Sikhs. That was started by
          Guru Ramdas under the instructions of Guru Amardas in 1637 A.D.
          and that has been the custom now. You'll find, the first stage
          includes everything, but to cement that true life, one must have
          Bread of Life. After that when you feel sweetness, by hearing
          that Name, go in raptures for Him, that's the first stage only
          completed. Then second is when you hear that Music of the
          Spheres, all without closing your ears. You see inside, outside
          that light, then you have fulfilled the second stage. Then when
          you are in that stage, you are in the world yet unattached by the
          world, then you will have the third stage. After all you'll begin
          to absorb your whole self in God. This is what is meant by the
          ritual now performed before all this audience. What does marriage
          mean? It is uniting two souls together in earthly life. They
          should help each other in weal or woe and both of them should try
          to reach God. Be of use to your own self and to others as well,
          because God resides in every heart.

          So the main thing, what God has united, let no earthly power
          disunite, this is first of all. Second, they should work as one
          soul in two bodies under the instructions of the Master. He
          prescribes to you the way of life here too, the way of life the
          other way too. Under His guidance you'll develop step by step and
          you'll begin to absorb yourself in Him, you'll forget
          everything--all ego is lost. That's what Mirabai has told, 'Now I
          have got the eternal matrimony with God.' So that's the highest
          aim in a man's life.

          And especially the brothers in the West. You know what is meant
          by all this, what you have done? That's only telling what is a
          way of life, how to fulfill, how to realize, have happy life here
          and hereafter too. So with this thing all blessings. First turn
          was there, second turn was there, third and last of all when they
          reached that stage, that means we throw flowers--'Well you have
          got a successful life.' The flowers are only thrown when they
          have reached the last stage--throwing flowers means you are a
          good couple, you have reached the ultimate goal of life. And this
          is before you, both you couple, you are my children; I wish you
          happy life here and hereafter.

          It is no conversion. It is only at the expressed wish of Mr.
          Arran that we have performed these Sikh rites. This is one social
          body's way and I was just explaining what the duties are.

          I think that covers everything East and West. Thank you.

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