Dunne, Finley Peter

"The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here."

"It's more comfortable to feel that we're a slight improvement on a monkey thin such a fallin' off fr'm th'angels." - Mr. Dooley On Making a Will

"A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tu-rrned into angels be an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large." - Mr. Dooley's Opinions

"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th' Lord wud do if He knew th' facts iv th' case." - Mr. Dooley's Opinions

"Ye can lead a man up to the university, but ye can't make him think." - Mr. Dooley's Opinions

"[Thanksgiving] `Twas founded be th' Puritans to give thanks f'r bein' presarved fr'm th' Indyans, an' . . . we keep it to give thanks we are presarved fr'm th' Puritans." - Mr. Dooley's Opinions

"Thrust ivrybody - but cut th' ca-ards." - Mr. Dooley's Philosophy