They Tell Me ...

BY Heather Olson

It hurts so much to write this,
to know that you are gone.
It seems all my life I waited
Even nine months seemed too long.

You were here, my darling child,
and then you went away.
And all the joy you brought me,
Didn’t come to stay.

Oh they give me reasons that you died,
Your heart couldn’t keep you alive.
But that doesn’t make the pain go away,
Or release the anguish felt inside.

Four whole days you were here my son,
And I know I got more than some,
But I thought I’d have you for always,
Still you were here, and now you are gone.

I love you and miss you every day,
Without you, life seems a sham.
They tell me I’ll see you again,
In "a better happier land."

I want you here, with me,
And not in Heaven with God,
Still it seems I have little choice,
As on through the darkness I plod.

I keep going and going though
some days I know not how,
I keep getting up and living
Hours, days, and weeks now.

They tell me to live for you now,
Since you no longer can.
But I want you to live yourself, son
But again it’s not my plan.

Not God’s either so I am told,
for he loves his children too.
These things "just happen," again I am told,
But Oh why did it happen to you?

For my darling firstborn son Rhys MacCaskill Lachlan Olson
Heather L. Olson (Rhys’s Mommy 4-ever)