Everybody Hurts
instant AngelFic by the BuffyOtaku
just add water and stir
Disclaimer: The characters herein are the property of Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy, and the WB, among others. No infringement is intended or should be inferred.
Summary: Cordelia, in the hours after the events in “Heroes.”
Look ma! My first G-rated fic!
when the day is long
and the night
the night is yours alone
Okay, so I’m alone in my apartment now, wrapped up in a comforter, pressing REWIND over and over on my VCR. I know it’s an impotent gesture, trying to reach back in time a few hours. It still feels like he’s alive, like he’s going to knock on my door and demand we go out for dinner right now before I change my mind, but.....but I was standing right there when Doyle died.
When Doyle died.
It’s hard, you know, realizing that you care for someone only to have your still-beating heart ripped out and stomped on by the wicked cycles of Fate.
But I was standing there, listening to Angel talk about the beacon thingy, and watching Doyle’s eyes. I knew, right when Angel put his hand on his shoulder, what was going to happen. I guess I wasn’t surprised when he kissed me.
Hurts to think about it.
Everything hurts right now. I can’t feel my fingers or my toes. I’ve gone all numb. It may have something to do with the bottle of scotch Angel gave me from the office. I’ve been sipping at this vile stuff since I got here, hoping it’ll eat away at or at least cauterize the gaping wound I feel like I have in my stomach.
just let yourself go
‘cause everybody cries
everybody hurts
sometimes
I hope he finds some kind of peace, wherever he is. I hope Angel isn’t all wracked with guilt in the morning. I hope I can get off this couch to go to work in the morning. Or maybe, just maybe, we’ll close down. Yeah, I’d be out of a job, but I’m not sure I can stand going to the office every day and seeing the place that was so....alive when Doyle was there.
He really made the place happen. Without his visions, we wouldn’t have had a few of those clients. We wouldn’t have had a witless foil.
He’s dead, Cordelia, do you think you could stop ragging on him?
I’m going to slam this scotch, and then I’m going to cry myself to sleep.
"There are real heroes in this world," he says for the fiftieth time. And then "Is that it? Am I done?"
Yeah, babe, you’re done. Before you even got started.
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"We're immortal, Buffy, we can do anything!"
"Oh yeah? Clap."