The most reknown psychic in Atlanta (and very successful considering she drove a Mercedes) died Monday by drowning in a five-foot reflecting pool. Guess she didn't foresee that one, huh?
For anyone who doesn't think Pres. Clinton isn't having a serious powertrip, read this quote from April:
Next time you're out driving, here's a sociology experiment (Wow! Driving and science together. Blast music and learn!). Watch the men driving compared to the women as they pass you or cruise alongside, and key on hand placement on the steering wheel. I've noticed lately that more than half of the guys will drive with one hand on top of the wheel, leaving the other hand free for playing ping-pong with the passenger or changing six CDs at the same time. The women, however, always drive with hands out of sight, either at 10-and-2 or at the bottom of the wheel. Granted, this is probably a defensive maneuver to prevent being blind-sided by one-handed men playing yahtzee, but it is still an interesting (okay, so it's not, but it's something to do) experiment for five minutes until you get bored, pop open a Coke, eat chips and blast your new Neil Sedaka album.
More news from Hillary Watch '99: It seems that the First Lady is looking for an apartment in New York City, but one that is in a "normal" neighborhood. She doesn't want to live to upscale for fear of being uppity or to ethnic for seeming excessively politically correct (when did she start worrying about that). Of course none of this would have mattered if the Tenants Association of the first place she tried to live turned her down.
The city of Atlanta, namely the corrupt and incompetent government led by Mayor Bill Campbell, has gone so far to defend affirmative action policies that even the ultra-liberal Atlanta Constitution deemed "tarnished." Campbell insisted he would "fight to the death" to defend set-asides, when in reality the problem with Atlanta's is the Mayor himself; Campbell has even turned down minority business owners--frequently--from local projects if they aren't buddies or haven't donated to his campaign. Not to mention that to him, minority includes only blacks, excluding the large hispanic and asian communities. Campbell doesn't want affirmative action, he's enjoying the power of the office and refusing to recognize that virtually the same program has been overturned by courts in Dekalb and Fulton Counties, where the bulk of Atlanta resides. And people wonder why whites have been fleeing the city for the suburbs?
Two stories from the state of toys today:
Farewell my shagadelic cool cats.
Was that not one of the best U.S. Opens, or any golf tournament, in recent history? The big-name draws combined with the veteran experience of the eventual champion, Payne Stewart? And the added drama with Phil Mickelson's wife due to deliver the couple's first child at any moment, who wasn't rooting for him? It may have been a good thing that there wasn't a playoff, considering Phil's wife went into labor on Monday in the early afternoon, when the playoff would've still been going on.
"I also very strongly support establishing a National Weather Center, with the help of federal funds, at the University of Oklahoma to see what we can do, not only to provide even better warning, but perhaps to dilute the strength of some of these very powerful tornadoes before they hit."
So now Billy thinks we can dilute the strength of tornadoes! Also, we already have a National Weather Service, and there are plenty of organizations out there without federal funding that are already working on this. Clinton sounds as if he was the first person to come up with the idea.
1) Apparently Austin Powers doesn't make everybody want to shag. A woman from Atlanta caused a stir when her 11-year-old son didn't understand what the new Austin doll means when it says "Do I make you horny, baby? Do I?"
I don't care what anyone says, I'm keeping my Dr. Evil and Felicity Shagwell figures!
2) One of the new Tarzan dolls apparently likes to move his arms in a movement that makes adults giggle, one in which it looks as if the ape man is pleasuring himself. This one is actually quite hilarious.
Jeff's Editorial Page | Column Archives | Home