Conservative footnotes

1 Listen to "Hey Jude" backwards at half speed and you'll hear this

2 My own opinion

3 Penthouse, a few pages after the centerfold (I do research on immorality, yeah)

4 If you read every seventh letter on the back of a coco puffs box, it says this

5 I think my babysitter said this while talking on the phone with her boyfriend

6 Wasn't this on the back of a Duran Duran album?

7 God told me this

8 Page 3, some magazine about guns

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