L I A ML I A M
{ Mick Jagger is sitting in bed with David Bowie, they are both drinking beer}
David: { flipping through channels} There must be something on..
Mick: Oh love, must you always watch the tele after we....
David: {nodding} Oh look! {All Around The World comes on MTV}
Mick: Oh bloody hell..not those bastards..
David: {Slaps him over the head} Hey, I think they're cute!
Mick: Cute? Over my dead body..
David: That can be arranged..anyways you know you think that one {pointing to screen} is cute.
Mick: Oh yes..Bonehead..to die for.
David: I was referring to Liam!
Mick: Oh so you like Liam now!
David: Well lemme tell you one thing Mick..he'd probably be a better shag than you!
Mick: Really now? Well I never...
David: Oh sure he would be! He's so fit..and very clean. {video ends; screen turns black}
Mick: Well it's about time..{Liam appears off in the distance of the screen, begins to run towards the camera}
David: See how fit he is? He isn't hiding any fight under his tight trousers like some people I know..{rolls eyes at Mick; Liam gets closer and closer to camera}
Mick: Hmm..he seems very fond of extreme close ups..and I am NOT fat.
David: {Liam getting closer} Oh what a lovely face he is..Such a nice n- {Liam bursts through tele into the room and runs past bed towards the door}
Liam: One day, Jagger, I'll kick yer arse! {runs out door}
Mick: Well how rude.
Liam: {cut to Liam running, running, running, running, flies off edge of earth} Damn my education!!!Columbus you blimey bastard! Ayee! {dies} {camera does close-up on Liam's crotch}
Voice off Camera: Wrong place poof!
Camera Man Voice: Oh..sorry! {camera moves up to Liam's face. Goes closer into Liam's face until camera is up his nose; a swirl of color forms and the word "Liam" flashes across rhe screen. Champagne Supernova begins to play}
Liam: Someday you will find me .....give me gin and tonic! Give me gin and tonic!
Noel: Shurrup Liam!!!
Liam: {pouts} in a champagne supernova in the sky..
{cut to waves on the beach, camera pulls back revealing Ginger Spie watching the beach from a window, Liam appears behind her}
Liam: You weren't that bad of a shag for a Spice Gurl (it's the accent) love {getting dressed, putting on army clothes}
Ginger Spice: Where ya goin?
Liam: I'm visiting me brother Noel in 'Nam. {gets up and walks towards the door} Bye then.
Ginger Spice: Yeah, ya know, girl powah..
Liam: {udner breath} Silly bitch..couldn't shag if her life depended on it {exits}
{Cut to Liam walking through a war in 'Nam, Puff Daddy walks across the screen}
Liam: It's you!
Puff Daddy: Huh? Who mean? Yeah..straight up fool.
Liam: {knees Puffy in the balls} Oh how I've wanted to do that...
Puff Daddy: You goddam playa hata!!
Liam: Oh shurrup you stoopid fag! {punches him}
Puff Daddy: aagh {gets shot by aimless bullet, dies}
Liam: {turns around} Thanks Alex
Alex Trebek: {re-loading gun} Anytime...
Liam: {runs down into a trench, door apears in the side of the trench, liam knocks on it}
Noel: {opens door} 'ello Liam!
Liam: Yeah yeah 'lo Noel.
Noel: Well come in now!
Liam: Uh, right {walks in hobbit hole, sits down at table}
Man..I'm feelin supersonic
Liam: Gimme gin and tonic!!
Noel: Therrin yer pants Liam!
Liam: Erm...right. {takes gin and tonic out of his pants}
{knock upon the door}
Noel: Will you get that Liam?
Liam: I'm the bloody guest!
Noel: Oh yeah? Well I'm yer fookin older brother..
Liam: Fine then..{gets up and opens the door}
Ringo: {dressed as wizard from Magical Mystery Tour} They're 10 miles north on the Dewsberry road..
Liam: What then? Stop speakin shite..
Ringo: And they're having a lovely time!