50 Fun Things to do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone
gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show
the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking
your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of
you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of
"It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side
at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse,
and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting
on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in
the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open
by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger
and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the
elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the
door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped
down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger
for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded,
moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each
passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can
fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta
go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound
and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb"
while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever
the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says
"human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for
a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner
of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on
if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and
talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look
around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do"
and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with
a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal
space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and
ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth
in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I
must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it
protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively
at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I
think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you,
recoil and holler "Bad touch!"