PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF
KIDS' KITCHEN TERMS
- Appetizing: Anything
advertised on tv.
- Boil: The
point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic
"yuck" before a food is even tasted.
- Casserole: Combination
of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed
together.
- Chair: Spot
left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.
- Cookie (last one): Item that must be eaten in front of
a sibling.
- Crust: Part
of a sandwich saved for the starving children of the
world.
- Desserts: The
reason for eating a meal.
- Evaporate:
Magic trick performed by children when it comes
time to clear the table or wash dishes.
- Fat: Microscopic
substance detected visually by children on pieces
of meat they do not wish to eat.
- Floor:
Place for all food not found on the lap or chair.
- Fork:
Eating utensil made obsolete by the discovery of fingers.
- Fried foods:
Gourmet cooking.
- Frozen:
Condition of children's jaws when spinach is
served.
- Fruit:
A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.
- Germs:
The only thing kids will share freely.
- Kitchen:
The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.
- Leftovers:
Commonly described as "gross".
- Liver:
A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary
dislike.
- Lollipop:
A snack provided by people who don't have to pay
dental bills.
- Marconi:
Material for a collage.
- Measuring cup:
A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox./
- Metric:
A system of measurement that will be accepted only
after forty years of wandering in the desert.
- Napkin:
Any worn cloth object, such as shirt or pants.
- Natural food:
Food eaten with unwashed hands.
- Nutrition:
Secret war waged by parents using direct commands,
camouflage, and constant guard duty.
- Plate:
A breakable Frisbee.
- Refrigerator:
A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner.
- Saliva:
A medium for blowing bubbles.
- Soda pop:
Shake 'n Spray.
- Table: A
place for storing gum.
- Table leg:
Percussion instrument.
- Thirsty:
How your child feels after you've said your final
"goodnight".
- Vegetable:
A basic food known to satisfy kids' hunger -- but only by
sight.
- Water:
Popular beverage in underdeveloped countries.
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