The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route 


15) Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco.
     
14) Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents.
     
13) One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear.
     
12) Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable 
    Bic lighter.
     
11) Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after 
    "s'mores" party got out of hand.
     
10) Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of 
    the urinal at the last rest stop.
     
9)  First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive 
    the baton."
     
8)  Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a 
    case of Bud and a supersoaker.
     
7)  Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears 30 minutes later in 
    Atlanta.
     
6)  Drive-by goosings.
     
5)  Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the 
    "Chariots of Fire" theme.
     
4)  Torch-jackings in urban areas.
     
3)  Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new 
    Olympic Bong.
     
2)  Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for 
    directions.
     
and the Number 1 Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route...
     
1)  Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD 
    light!


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Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi