Ladies and Gentlemen Many other pointers we will mention! Thank you for your very kind attention!! Now, I'm the guy that wrote the book on etiquette I know just how all your vittles should be et. I have writ this little book about mistakes I've saw. Take them down, and don't forget, that what I say is law. Always leave your spoon up in your coffee Starting with your soup, first sound your "A". Napkins are to catch the food that bounces off your knife Tuck the napkin in so it will stay. Always put both elbows on the table. Many other pointers we could mention. Always gesture with your fork. Friday means it's fish or pork. Thank you for your very kind attention. When your tea is hot, just use your saucer. Never ask for anything that you can safely reach. When someone asks for bread just grab all you can And deal them out like you were dealing bridge. Always take two toothpicks; you might break one. Many other pointers I might mention. Put your gum beneath your plate Eat fast, so you won't be late Thank you for your very kind attention. Wear your earmuffs eating watermelon. Tiddlywinks is always proper with the seeds. Cut your pickle so the two halves fly right off your plate. Use your spoon when eating dandelion weeds. When eating grapefruit, be sure and wear your goggles. Many other pointers I might mention, but I haven't time. Fingerbowls are set close by In case your water glass runs dry I do thank you for your very kind attention. Never let your ice cream melt And loosen two holes in your belt Thank you for your very kind attention. Don't ever cut spaghetti up in pieces Eat it like a chicken eating worms. When you're eating cake, be sure ya' eat the frosting first Watch out for bacteria and germs. Always laugh when somethin' funny happens Many other pointers I could mention. Grab your part so it won't drop Always finish when you stop Thank you for your very kind attention. Ladies and Gentlemen! Many other pointers we have mentioned! Thank you for your very kind attention!!!
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