Everybody seems to talk of prohibition And what they'll drink when everything is dry. How are you going to get around this new condition And keep a happy twinkle in your eye? It's very easy now to get a drink. But tell me, did you ever stop and think: How are you goin' to wet your whistle When the whole darn world goes dry? What are you goin' to do in the morning When you need a nip to open up your eye? Now, what of the wedding and the christening And the wake when your dear friends die? Oh, how are you goin' to wet your whistle When the whole darn world goes dry? Ne'er again will any man be late for dinner. Never will they miss the five-fifteen. All the fleshy boys will fade and grow much thinner And every one will be a candy fiend If they pack the soda fountains to the doors And turn the bars all into dry goods stores. The poor bar-tenders will be worrying About a ribbon counter job in July. Oh, how are you goin' to wet your whistle When the whole darn world goes dry? Talk about your Bevo Coca-ColaŠ too When you're good and thirsty Neither one of them will do. Go and see a circus Lemonade you buy But you can see more animals If you drink a little rye. Stein up on the table Good song ringing clear There will be no stein at all When prohibition's here. Always eat an apple When you get a thirst I've got an orchard ready For January first. We took this country from the Indians They can have it back again in July. Oh, how are you goin' to wet your whistle When the whole darn world goes dry?
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How Could Little Red Riding Hood Have Been So Very Good