Jonesy married Mabel; a wise old owl was he; He told his wife he never drank a stronger thing than tea. But after honey-mooning, at night he stayed away And for a week he never got home till the break of day. At last poor Mabel asked the reason why Said Jones, "I'm going to tell the truth or die! Baby dear, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Every day the papers say A robbery in the park So I sat alone in the Y.M.C.A. Singing just like a lark: 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!" That night after dinner he bade his wife adieu She said, "Oh no, it's dark, and so, I'm going to go with you". But somehow Jonsey shook her, for he was smooth as silk. He got home just in time to meet the man that brought the milk. His wife was waiting for him on the stair, While Jonsey and the milkman sang this air: "Baby dear, shhh, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Ev'ry day the papers say A robbery in the park. So I sat all alone in the Y.M.C.A. Singing just like a lark 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!" She kissed him good morning; To see him she was glad And when she tucked him up in bed Jones said, "I guess I'm bad!" Next day, the same old story, he came home just at dawn. But he got sober right away when he found she was gone! At noon he heard her slam the garden gate. She said to Jonesy, "Is my hat on straight? Honey dear, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Every day the papers say A robbery in the park So I sat alone in the C.A.F.E. Singing just like a lark 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!"
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