There's a girl I know who came from college And she's supposed to have a lot of knowledge Just seventeen. Oh, what a queen! Sweet face and figure, you know what I mean. Just like a rose from the south. But when she opens her mouth... Oh, is she dumb! Oh boy, is she dumb! She thinks she's as bright as can be. She's so dumb she don't know where she's at. Thinks the English Derby is a hat. Gee, but she's dense. No common sense. Just ahead of solid ivory. She's so dumb she should be in a cage. Thinks Virginia hams are on the stage. (My goodness!) Oh is she dumb. Dumb as they come. She's even so dumb she likes me. What do you suppose she did last summer? Tried to buy plumb pudding from a plumber! She said to me, that B.V.D. Was just a password in Freemasonry. I heard her say to a dame That "Iceberg" is a Yiddisha name. Oh is she dumb! Oh, is she dumb! She thinks she's as smart as can be. She's so dumb I heard her ask the boys If Long Island Sound could make a noise. Oh what a peach! Thinks that Rex Beach Is just a summer place down by the sea. She can't tell an airship from a tank. Thinks that Daylight Savings is a bank! Folks say she's bright. Maybe they're right, But she's just a dumbbell to me. When she hears that April Showers song She always takes a parasol along. (Can you beat it?) Oh is dumb! As dumb as they come. She's even so dumb she loves me.
Next song alphabetically: Oh They're Such Nice People