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ISSUE:Sexuality |
Overview:This is the least often discussed aspect of the welfare debate. It is quiet clear that much of the outrage against welfare recipients is other's suspicions about how women get there. It is often suggested that they are promiscuous, easy women. Part of the push behind reform was a back lash against "rewarding" this perceived behavior. In addition, there is some suggestion from the conservative arena that poor mothers should have physically intrusive birth control forced upon them against their will or be forced to sign pledges of sexual abstinence. But the truth of the matter is that the birth rate for the welfare population is not any larger than the birth rate for the population as a whole. Women come to welfare from a very wide variety of circumstances. Some were married, middle class women who were financially devastated by divorce, some were young and impressionable teens when they became pregnant, some were the victims of either sexual assault or sexual coercion, some were faithful to one, unfortunately low-income, partner; but all are branded as "hussies" by their status as low-income mothers. |
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What we refuse to look at is the gender that is by far the most aggressive and interested in sex -- males. We know that it is the men who, by and large hire the prostitutes, and have throughout history granted themselves the right to multiple wives, harems, concubines, sexual liberty, sexual aggression, and sexual slaves. We know that a large percentage of men grant themselves the right to cheat on their partners or leave when they "aren't getting enough at home."
Many women are having coerced sex, and of those who are engaging in consentual sex, it is quite often in order to please or keep her partner. But, when the consequences of that sexual activity appear, it is the woman who is left to pick up the pieces. She is the target of a financial and social lynching when she steps up and takes responsibility to nurture the child that was created while she was nurturing her man.
Yet, it is the woman's sexuality, not the man's, that we continue to harpoon. Could that possibly have anything to do with the fact that it is an almost exclusively male group that sets this nation's agenda?
My personal story includes sexual activity that ranged from strongly coerced to completely forced, once my long-term relationship was reaching its ultimate conclusion. This unwanted and much-resisted sexual activity resulted in a pregnancy. Although I did not desire the cost or responsibility of raising a child, I took on that responsibility for one reason only: the best interest of an innocent child who deserves no less. This responsibility has reduced the time I have available for a job and has increased the cost working would pose to me.
I feel that my courage, maturity, and love should be commended rather than criticized. But no one really cares why or how I'm here, or how I attempt to climb up from where I'm at. I'm just one more burden on society as far as many are concerned.
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