Rich's Political Glossary
Created: sometime in 1996; - Last update: 8 April 2002
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather
scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more
nor less."
- - - - - -- - - - - - Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
- Algore
- The liberal realization of Dan Quayle's media-created image.
- AIDS Education
- Curricula designed to help students accept their
latent gay or lesbian tendencies, to help students see
the vital contributions to society made by gays and lesbians,
and to promote the need for increased contributions to
projects which promote the self-esteem, self-awareness,
and health of the gay/lesbian community.
- Anti-biased
- Beyond non-biased, having a perspective opposite to
those of traditional biases (e.g., designed to affirm
minority persons and to assist members of dominant groups
to realize the full weight of their oppressive histories).
- Art
- Any creative endeavor whose purpose is to subvert
social and moral norms in the pursuit of the glorious
progressive cause of liberation.
- Artist
- A creative and liberated person whose skills are
devoted to freeing others from the repressive burden of
social and moral norms; a person employed by the
government to create or perform art.
- Assault Weapon (often prefixed dangerous or
deadly)
- Any firearm; esp., any firearm which might threaten
the safety of safety investigators during visits to the
domiciles of suspected criminals (e.g., owners of assault
weapons or readers of The Bible).
- Bab.bitt \'bab-*t\
- 1. n : a babbitt-metal lining for a bearing
2. babbitt vt : to line or furnish with babbitt metal
Bab.bitt \'bab-*t\; \-*-tre-\ n [George F. Babbitt,
character in the novel Babbitt (1922) by Sinclair Lewis]
: a business or professional man who conforms
unthinkingly to prevailing middle-class standards -
Bab.bitt.ry n
3. babbitt n. [Bruce B., Secty.] : an administration of the
executive branch which conforms unthinkingly to politics as
usual (q.v. Clinton).
- Bias-free screening device
- A test which ensures equal scores for all racial,
ethnic, and gender-orientation, through such methods as
deletion of impedimentary challenges (e.g., hard
questions), addition of culturally relevant and
comprehension-adjusted challenges (e.g., "Ef de honky
be layin' down de Franklin fo' a baggie, an' ta man, he be
gibben back fibe G-W's, how much do ta man gots
himsef?"), and use of culturally-adjusted outcome
assignment (e.g., a white male with half of the answers
correct scores 50%, while a black male with half of the
answers correct receives the richly-deserved,
esteem-affirming score of 100%).
- Body count
- 1. List of people who have died under questionable
circumstances in Clintong-scandal cover-ups;
estimates range from 50 to the thousands;
- 2. List of people who have been intimidated or robbed
of evidence in Clintong-scandal cover-ups;
- 3. The number of women who claim to have been raped by
William Clintong (several are known, many have duplicate
listings under def. no. 1 and 2 above;
- 4. The number of women in Willie Clintong's collection
of little black books; estimates range from several hundred
to several thousand.
-
- Buchanan
- A loud, fierce-looking, but harmless weapon, known for firing off volleys
of populist rhetoric to both the right and the left; useful for splitting Republican logs.
- Bum
- 1. (n., obsolete) See 'homeless person' 2. (v., obsolete) See 'solicit'
3. (n., Brit. coloquial) buttocks
- Clymer
- (derogatory; after NY Times reporter Adam Clymer) a__hole (e.g., "Geraldo is a major
league Clymer.")
- Clintong, Willie Yam
- A prolific chef know for his flip-flop flapjacks,
half-baked coreless apples, baby finger sandwiches, and
Whitewater whine; a large number of guests have mysteriously
died after eating at his table; poor sanitary practices have
resulted in massive spillage of ballistic and nuclear
ingredients and recipes.
- Competency Testing
- See Standardized Testing
- Comprehensive
- Womb to tomb
- Confidential
- Free from the constraints of parental knowledge or consent
- Conservative Womyn
- Not real womyn, conservative womyn are victims of brainwashing by a patriarchal,
machoist society.
- Controlled Substance
- Dangerous organic compounds such as opiates or THC (a component of cannibis)
which Bill Clinton never sniffed or inhaled;
liberal ideology points out that consumption of such is a victimless crime and
should be legalized (Contrast vitamins)
- Counter-heckler
- Member of the audience who shouts back at hecklers.
(Bush had to yell at one point as counter-hecklers
shouted the protesters down. - "President promotes
volunteerism in police and emergency services," Scott Lindlaw,
AP, 4/8/02)
- Creative Expression
- Obscenity
- Culturally Sensitive
- Recognizing that the values and heritage of minority cultural groups
are superior to, and often the source of, those of Eurocentric culture
- Deleterious Programs
- Privatization, performance contracting, tax credits
for tuition to private and parochial schools, voucher plans,
and evaluation of school or teacher performance by
private groups; Antonym: beneficial programs (e.g.,
explicit sex education, R-rated videos, environmental
awareness training, diversity training)
- Democrats, Democratic Party
- An amalgam of Communists, Socialists, and other ignorant
people; also known as Democrits (democrat + hypocrit) and
Demonic-Acts.
- Disenfranchisement
- Failure to adequately fool-proof ballots or voting machines;
- antonym: protecting the integrity of the
voting process (q.v.);
- Note: If the ballots are designed by Republicans,
d. is the work of the VRWC. If the ballots are
designed by Democrats, d. is the fault of racist
Republicans.
- Diversity
- Division; the organized correction of the dominance
of injust domination by evil white males and by
treacherous right-wing non-whites.
- Equity Feminist
- A feminist whose goal is the promotion of the equality
of womyn's rights including those of conservative womyn.
Confused by alleged differences
between scumbags (q.v.) and womyn, equity feminists support the outdated,
sexist, and Victorian notions of Freedom of Association, privacy
(except as it applies to a womyn's right to put out a contract on parasitic tissues),
and animal attraction between the sexes.
- Evil
- Resistant to the principles of progressivism;
a mythical negative value used by obsolete religions
to limit people's self-realization.
- Exscind \ek-'sind\
- vt [L exscindere, fr. ex- + scindere to cut, tear - more at SHED] : to cut off or out
: EXCISE; WRT dealing with machoists, the Bobbitt method; as in, "Until Bill's poll numbers
improve, Dick Morris has exscinded Bill's dating privileges."
- Feminazi
- Not to be confused with feminists (and without need to be distinguished from feminine, a feminazi is a feminist leader whose goal in life is to see to it that as many abortions take place as possible. According to Rush Limbaugh, there are less than a dozen feminazis in the whole country. Rush is an incurable optimist.
- Feminine
- The aesthetic attribute used by some womyn to manipulate and dominate scumbags; also an aid used by submissives to enhance the enjoyment of lesbian (q.v.) relationships.
- Feminist
- A persyn who sees womyn as a distinct social, political, and economic class (unless the womyn happen to make the mistake of being conservative (q.v.)).
- Feminoid
- See gender feminist.
- Gay
- A single-word oxymoron describing one of the unhappiest groups of people;
specifically, women trapped men's bodies and men who prefer women trapped in men's bodies;
generically used, also includes men trapped in women's bodies and women who
prefer men trapped in women's bodies;
by extension, a powerful, vociferous, and violent lobbying group for socialists.
- Gender Feminism
- A feminist whose goal is to promote womyn over other gender groups. Unlike equity feminists, gender feminists are not hampered by the misogynist fable that womyn and men have complementary differences. Instead, they seek to abolish male-only associations, want unrestricted access to men's bathrooms and professional male athlete's locker rooms, and have no animal attraction.
- Gender Feminist
- See lesbian.
- Gentleman
- See Male chauvinist pig.
- Global Education
- Counseling designed to help future citizens find their place in the new
world order, free from nationistic arrogance
- gorgon \'go.r-g*n\ \go.r-'go--ne--*n, -ny*n\
- n [L Gorgon-, Gorgo, fr. Gk Gorgo-n] cap
1: any of three snaky-haired sisters in Greek mythology
whose glance turns the beholder to stone
- 2: an ugly or repulsive woman
- 3: supporter of Algore
- 4: a feminist - gorg.on.ian aj
- Gun Control
- The incremental disarmament of the unwashed masses,
necessary for maintenance of the peace from ultranationalist
counterprogressives after the success of the coming
glorious socialist revolution.
- Gun Rights
- The attempt by hateful ultranationalists to extend
to untrained civilians the right of the police, National Guard,
and Internal Revenue Service to bear arms counterprogressives
after the success of the coming glorious socialist revolution.
- Health Services
- Abortion and training in use of contraceptives
- Heb.e.tate \'heb-*-.ta-t\ \.heb-*-'ta--sh*n\ vt [L
hebetatus, pp. of hebetare, fr. hebet-, hebes dull]
- 1. to make dull or obtuse 2. the didactic methodology of the Nat'l Ed. Assoc. - heb.e.ta.tion
- Hillary, Hil-liar-y, Hitlary
- Former First Persyn, Bill Clintong's domestic partner, and unofficial co-president. The Black Pope of American feminism and the Clintong administration due to her unprecedented, unelected, non-appointed, unconfirmed, unaccountable, and unrevealed behind-the-scenes power. See open marriage.
- Ho-hummer
- (Obsolete) An uninteresting event;
- A practice of the Clintong administration employing the services of a
professional sex therapist.
- Hobo
- (Obsolete) An itinerantly occupied inter-urban explorer; compare 'homeless person'
- Homeless Person
- A domestically deprived urban explorer
- Icar.ian \ik-'ar-e--*n, -'er-; i--'kar-, -'ker-\
- aj : of, relating to, or characteristic of Icarus : soaring too high for safety :
inadequate for an ambitious project : Bill Clinton's (and Algore's) qualifications
for the executive office
- Incentative
- Bushism spoken by John F. Kennedidy in 1962 in which
he promoted tax-rate cuts incentive.
Compare strategery.
- Lesbian
- noun The highest lifeform and the natural leaders of feminists in America, lesbians form the biological relationships God intended her creations to enjoy. Members of the lesbian species occur having either of two genders: dominant and submissive. Procreation is accomplished by recruiting victims of machoists. Also, adjective, of or pertaining to lesbians.
- Liberal
- A person who is generous with other people's money; a person who is tolerant, compassionate, and kind whenever there is an attempt to lower standards; a person who will permit any form of expression, so long as that expression is not critical of the lowering of standards or the transfer of property from achievers to non-achievers.
- Libertarians
- Adherants to a philosophy that government should
mind its own business; a political party promoting
libertarianism; connotes an idealistic rejection of
all members of the PIMPS (q.v.), and therefore also known
as Liberty Fairyanism.
- Liberty
- Freedom of the mind from everything socially constructed
so that one reconnects with the natural -- that is, becomes
adequately prepared to receive the wise, healthy, and
responsible teachings of the elite, politically correct,
peace-loving people of the moderate Democratic Party and
its educational arms, the National Education Association,
the National Endowment for the Arts, and the coalition of
socially responsible media.
- Libophrenic
- [Liberal + -phrenia]: Having the tendency to arrive at positions based on intuitive, emotive, right-brained thinking (or feeling, as the case may be) rather than through deductive, rational, left-brained logic. Since libophrenic thinking cannot accommodate data which requires logical processing, true libophrenics react to such data either by ignoring it or by becoming belligerent. -- libophrenia noun: A disorder of the mind characterized by libophrenic tendencies. -- libomorph noun: An argument which makes sense to a libophrenic person.
- Lothario \lo--'thar-e--.o-, -'ther-, -'tha:r-\
- n [Lothario, seducer in the play The Fair Penitent (1703) by Nicholas]
often cap Rowe : SEDUCER, a politician of the Democratic Party
- Machoist
- A male sexist who uses attributes formerly classified as masculine to attract and exploit womyn, machoists often believe in the myth of male superiority.
- Male chauvinist pig
- (obsolete) See scumbag.
- Marijuana
- What Bill Clinton never inhaled; conservatives say Clinton didn't need to
inhale because he sucks
- Nationalistic Arrogance
- See patriotism
- National Mini Convention Political Party
(NMCPP)
- The newest "third" party, dedicated to restoration
of Constitutional government by people adhering to
traditional Christian values, as intended by the
founders of America.
- NEA
- 1. National Education Association, a union
whose prime goal is more jobs and more schools
that require more tax funding (as contrasted with
the mistaken belief that the goal should be education);
the missionary priesthood charged with promoting
socialist humanism in Public Education (q.v.).
2.: National Endowment for the Arts, a quasi-governmental
board whose goal is to channel taxpayers' assets into
support for forms of expression which are otherwise
oppressed by the discriminatory free-market system
and censored by dangerous ultra-radical right-wing
fundamentalist extremists.
- Obfuscation
- 1. The practice of injecting confusion into a discussion by changing the focus of discussion; using nebulous, cryptic, foreign, or misdefined terms; or by making ad hominem attacks against one's opponent in debate. (Note: An ad hominem attack against a liberal is known as hate speech, whereas an ad hominem attack against a conservative is considered a responsible journalism.) 2. A didactic technique employed by the Democratic Party to interpret and clarify current events and ideology. (See spin.)
- Open marriage
- A tolerant, compassionate, marital arrangement between the co-presidents wherein, when Hillary goes out of town, Clinton gets to invite a bimbo over for the night; and when Clinton goes out of town, Hillary, likewise, gets to invite a bimbo over for the night.
- Patriotism
- Nationistic arrogance, the primary hindrance to peace and international
cooperation; a malosophy which should be treated with ample doses of
remedial global education
- Perot
- A noisy, colorful bird, easily distinguished by the large appendages on each
side of its head and the rarity of plumage on its crown; the chameleon of the bird
family, male Perots occupy ever-expanding territories.
- PIMPs
- Practically Identical Major Parties (i.e., the
Democrits and, after arrival in Washington, the Wepublicans)
- Politicus Liberalis
- A cold-blooded, predatory species that charms its victims into bondage before draining them of their lifeblood.
- Postmodernism
- The logical conclusion of the enlightened rejection
of Christianity, that we live in a universe without God,
that nature is all there is, and that morality
is whatever one's culture constructs it to be.
- Progressive
- The attribute of being or having one or more of the goals
of the glorious socialist revolution.
- Protecting the integrity of the voting process
- Blocking distribution or disqualifying ballots of
conservative demographic groups (e.g., overseas military)
- antonym: disenfranchisement (q.v.)
- Pterodacdole ('ter-a-'dak-dol)
- A species of fossilized politician indigenous to the District of Columbia
having a body structure offset so that it is slightly closer to the right wing than to the left;
known to be an aggressive and heroic defender of its territory in youth,
but seldom leaving the swamp of compromise after onset of advanced maturity.
- Public Education
- The government-controlled indoctrination arm of the
glorious socialist revolution; emphasis on personal and
group outreach, as contrasted with Public Television; also
know as the Church of Secular Humanism.
- Reporter
- The conscience of the nation
- Republicans
- Also known as Wepublicans, We-Flubbed-Agains.
- Revenue
- Tax
- Risky... scheme
- Any policy opposed by Algore (e.g.,
a risky tax scheme).
- Rush, Rush Limbaugh
- A big, lovable fuzzball who occupies the much-maligned Atilla the Hun Chair
at the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.
A.k.a. Doctor of Democracy, Rush is the privately insecure
but charmingly boastful host of Rush Limbaugh, the Television Show and
the Rush Limbaugh [radio] Show, broadcast by the Excellence in Broadcasting
(EIB) Network from high atop the EIB Building in New York City.
Distinguished by faux braggadocio, being absurd to illustrate absurdity,
and broadcasting data, quotes, and media clips that have been filtered out by the
dominant, liberal media.
- School
- An institution for young people where the repressive,
patriarchal values are unlearned and replaced with
enlightened, progressive values.
- Scumbag
- Either a male equity feminist or a machoist.
- Sex
- The ultimate reality, because it is instinctual
and uncontrollable, the motive force of our beings,
our ultimate identity. ( -- film professor Linda Williams)
- Silence, moment of
- An attempt to violate the separation of church and state and
the imposition of religion on public school students
- Spin (alt.: spin control)
- An applied obfuscation technique used by the Clinton Administration
to prevent or correct interpretation of events from extremist viewpoints.
- Solicit
- To offer someone the opportunity to make a contribution
(term applies to homeless persons, politicians, and domestic surrogates)
- Standardized Testing
- The of metrics to compare one student, staff member,
school, or district with another; a threat to fair placement,
ranking and promotion of union mem- er, educators.
- Strategery
- Bushism Strategy, plan for overcoming resistance
to an action or policy. Compare risky... scheme.
- Temporary Increase in Revenues
- A permanent tax increase which requires periodic renewal.
- Transsexual
- A mutilated person whose native sexuality has been terminated. See gay.
- Transvestite
- 1. An adult male who still plays dress-up with mommy's clothes;
2. a stock broker who frequently moves his investments around.
- Unable to support
- (Rep. Henry Waxman (D), 1 March 2001)
euphemism: Taking
the Fifth (e.g., the witness was unable to support the
investigation into Pardongate)
- Values, family values
- Social principles which Bill Clinton must promote in order to remain in
good graces with the head of his family.
- Vegan
- A strict vegetarian, who eats neither meat nor dairy products, from one
of the planets of Vega in the constellation Lyra
- Vegetable
- See Algore
- Vegetarian
- Someone who only eats liberals
- Vertebra
- One of the bony segments composing the spinal column, beginning with
cervical (neck) vertebrae and terminating in caudal (tail) vertebrae; contrary
to viscious rumors, Bill Clinton does have a backbone, as evidenced
by his ability to turn tail and run during the Vietnam conflict
- Victim
- 1. Anyone who has committed a crime 2. One that is tricked or duped into
voting for a Democrat
- Virile
- Why female reporters support Bill Clinton
- Virgin
- The only non-bacteriological endangered species whose eradication has
been intentionally assisted by liberalism; since the replacement rate is so
high, liberals have also targeted the control of pre-natal virgins; according
to liberal ideology, virginity is the single greatest contributor to illegitimacy
and venereal disease
- Vitamins
- Dangerous organic compounds which Clinton appointee David Kessler of
the FDA is seeking to declare and ban as controlled substances
(Compare controlled substance)
- Volunteer
- Someone who used to support Ross Perot
- Voucher (school voucher)
- A check written to rich people to pay for segregationist indoctrination
of their children, taken from the pockets of poor people, threatening the solvency
of the greatest educational system known to mankind
- Vow
- Undefined, obsolete term; used in music, as in, "when the vow breaks..."
- Whitewater
- 1. A river in Arkansas;
2. a real estate development scam used by FOBs to channel illegal campaign contributions
and bribes to a prominent politician in a desperate bid to get him out of Arkansas state government;
it worked
- Will of the people, the
- Democratic policy
- Working family
- Chronically unemployed, welfare recipients, government
employees, or others dependent on government entitlements
- ya.hoo \'ya--(.)hu:, 'ya:-\
- n cap 1: a member of a race of brutes in Swift's Gulliver's Travels
who have the form and all the vices of man (e.g., Roberta Achtung-berg)
2: an uncouth or rowdy person 3: What Bill Clinton said when Gennifer Flowers said,
"Let's order a pizza."
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