Please listen to me carefully the next time you see me. Please notice that I don't know much. Like you, I was born helpless. And growing up so I can take care of myself will take me a long time, too.
I need food.
I need rest.
I need to be kept clean.
I need to be kept warm in winter and cool in summer.
I need to be taken in your arms or sat on your lap.
I need to feel your skin against my skin.
I need you to help heal my hurts.
I need you to play with just so you and I can have some good times together.
I need you to teach me everything you can so I'll have a chance in this world when I grow up.
I need your patience. I know I'm not very orderly. I cry out for things like food and attention the second I need them. I can't help it, and I know that bothers you sometimes. All I can hope is that you will be patient with me until I can learn to be patient, too.
Above all, I need to know you love me. Even if your parents gave you no love at all, try to give a little to me so I can give a little to my children and they can give a little to their children.
I need so much from you, yet I have only one thing I can give you in return.
That is my love.
Today and tomorrow and as long as I live.
At age 21, I was pregnant with my first child. My husband was graduating from college. Things seemed to be going well until, one day he snapped and the abuse started and from there my world came to an end..
The abuse stopped for a bit after my daugher was born. But as many of you know the cycle continues. I was locked in the house, the starter wires on the car were disconnected, I was not permitted to write checks or use credit cards, my family was not able to visit, I was severly emotionally and physically abused. In fact, I was beaten so badly that the bruises even showed through my clothes.
One day, he started to abuse my daughter. She was about a year and a half when he locked her in a dark room in her highchair. I knew it was time to leave.
I waited until he left and called the police. My daughter and I went into hiding until court the next day. I was offered a police escort to move out. That's when our life began.
Abusers do not stop abusing until they realize that they have a problem. I found out that he had abused a previous girlfriend, his first wife, and a couple of women after me.
The one who has ultimately paid the price is my daughter. Three months after I remarried, she came to me and told me that she had been molested by her future step-brother. When the boy was questioned as to why he did this, he replied, "Because her father beat my mother".
The story does have a happy ending. The boy confessed and was jailed and through therapy, family support, and lots of love, we are attempting to rebuild and live a normal life.
As I stated earlier, I have now devoted my life to victim advocacy. My husband is very supportive and works two jobs so I can attend college to accomplish my goals. It is not easy, but we both feel that it is worth the effort.
Jeff and I have spoken to groups about sexual and physical abuse. Our goal is to help as many families that have suffered victimization as possible. We want them to know that there is life after abuse. We are proof of that!
P.A.C.A. is a non-profit support group designed to help victims and their families. We are not responsible for the actions of others. Our only hope is to offer guidance through our own personal experiences. Thank You! This site and the name Parents Against Child Abuse (P.A.C.A.) is copyrighted by Jeff and Laura Moyer-April, 1997.
EMAIL:angelsinblue@mailexcite.com