Disclaimer: The NGE characters aren't mine (much as I wish they were).
They belong to Gainax. I didn't write this for profit, so please don't sue me.
It's not like I have anything to take anyway.
Warning: The author likes to put meaningless warnings at the start of his fic
that only serve to take up space. Watch out!
The Mission
By Jose Argao
I am sitting quietly in class, but my thoughts are not of the
Second Impact lecture the teacher is giving. The same lecture he gives us
everyday. I already know it by heart and have no need to hear it again.
For the fifth time I try to concentrate on something other than the mission
I would be conducting this afternoon, but my thoughts inevitably drift back
to it. Actually, even in its earliest planning stages, it had always bothered
me. My thoughts go back to the last conversation I had with Misato before
leaving for school.
"Do you understand what you have to do now?"
"Hai."
"Are you sure, Shinji? I don't want to have to repeat myself to you."
"Don't worry, Misato-san. I think I have it down now."
"You'd better. We've been going over this for weeks."
"Don't worry, I know what I have to do."
"Well, if you say so. Just remember how we planned it. If you stick to the
plan everything will be fine."
"I understand."
"Good, and one more thing. Be careful, okay?"
"Don't worry. I will."
I acted so sure of myself then, but I was actually nervous as hell.
Not that I didn't trust Misato's judgment, but the whole thing seemed so
simple. Too simple, in fact. Misato made it seem almost routine. But nothing
is ever that simple. Everything has its own complications.
Still, I know a lot of planning and preparation has gone into this.
Every movement, every action, would be planned. Almost every complication
that could possibly arise had been thought of and dealt with. I myself have
spent weeks training for it, going through the necessary actions over and
over again. If I wanted to, I'm pretty sure I can recite every step exactly
as Misato described it to me.
But despite all the training and preparation, I'm still scared. I
can feel the fear eating at me from the inside. It's interfering with everything
I do. It keeps me awake at night, and makes me restless during the day. I
hear the sound of the bell ringing signifying the start of lunch. I slowly get
up from my seat, not really sure if I want to eat.
I'm about to go through the door when I hear a familiar voice calling my
name. I know that voice, but I still feel surprise when I turn to face her. Not
at who she is, but that she isn't hurling insults at me right off the bat.
"Hey! Baka Shinji! I need to talk to you."
Damn! She would have to pick today of all days to decide to talk to me.
I was always trying to talk to her before, but she was less than enthusiastic
about the idea of talking to a "dummkopf" like me. Why would she want to talk to
me now? Oh well, guess there's only one way to find out.
"Yeah? What do you want?"
"Hikari and I will be going to the mall this afternoon, so I'll be a bit late
coming home. I forgot to tell Misato this morning so you can tell her when you
get home."
Great, just great. It's not enough that she treats me like dirt all the
time, now she's acting like I'm her personal slave or something. Still, I guess
I should be happy that she won't be around this afternoon, It would make my task
a lot easier. The safest response would be to just say yes.
"Uh... sure."
As I watch her leave, I thank the gods that she isn't part of the
operation. Her presence would only make it all the more difficult. Her going
to the mall with Hikari would be a nice break for me. I don't want her to know
about the mission if I can help it. She's already mad at me for passing her
sync-ratio. God knows what she'll do to me if she finds out about this.
At lunch, I choose a secluded corner of the school grounds to sit in.
Touji joins me a few minutes later. So far, he's the only person outside of NERV
who knows about the mission. I didn't want to tell him about it, but he noticed
the change in my behavior a few weeks ago and wouldn't stop asking me about it.
Plus, I needed someone to talk to other than Misato. Asuka is out of the
question and I don't think Kensouke is that good at keeping a secret. Hearing
him boast about the dirt he digs up on NERV can attest to that. I'm only half
listening, however, when Touji starts talking.
"So, today's the big day huh?"
"Yeah."
"Relax, you'll get through this. Just treat it like any other operation.
Everything will be fine if you follow the plan."
"But I can't relax. I've been trying to relax for the past few weeks but I just
can't. I've never done anything like this before. I can't help but feel
nervous."
"I understand how you feel, but I have faith in you. I know you can do it."
"Thanks, Touji. That means a lot to me."
"Don't mention it. What are friends for?"
I feel slightly more confident after my conversation with Touji, but I
still feel somewhat uneasy. I spend the rest of the day trying without success
to think of something other than the mission. I tried reading lessons from my
laptop, I tried daydreaming, I even tried to pay attention on the teacher's
lecture about the second impact. All of my efforts prove futile, though, as time
and time again I find my thoughts drifting back to the mission.
My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of the bell signifying the
end of class. On one hand, I'm glad that it will soon be over. On the other
hand, I'm still uneasy about the mission. Well, there's no getting out of it.
The preparations have already been made. It would be impossible to postpone.
I head to a bench outside school and wait for the first child to arrive.
Then I see her. The first child, Ayanami Rei. I can never understand
how she can keep calm under conditions that would break grown men. I can see
no trace of fear or concern in her face as she walks toward me. She probably
doesn't even realize the importance of the role she plays in this mission.
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, my uneasiness turns to sheer terror.
What if I can't do it? What if something happens? What if I fail? "I mustn't run
away" I tell myself repeatedly.
"I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away.I mustn't run away."
Chanting this to myself always helped calm my nerves before, but this time
it doesn't seem to be working.
I'm so busy convincing myself not to run away that I barely realize it
when Rei arrives. I look up to find her standing in front of me, giving me a
puzzled look. The sound of her voice surprises me.
"You wished to see me, Ikari-kun?"
This is it. Now or never. Do or die. Make or break. I just have to
remember the plan. What was it? Damn, I've been going over it for weeks! How
can I suddenly forget all about it? Sadly, that seems to be the case. I look
up at her nervously.
"Um... ah... yeah."
"What did you wish to see me for?"
Man this is hard. This is nothing like Misato said it would be. It's not
easy or routine at all. I guess I'll just have to improvise.
"Well... uh... I was kinda wondering if you'd like to... um... go out with me
to the... movies... tomorrow night. You know, like... on a date."
"A... date? What is a date?"
This is going to be a lot tougher than I thought.
"Well, you see... when a guy and a girl... um... like each other, they ah...
go out on a date to see if they're um... compatible."
"Compatible for what?"
"Well... for being with each other."
"We already spend a lot of time with each other."
"Yeah, but when people go on a date... it's different."
"I do not understand. In what way is it different?"
"It's... special. If they find that they like each other... they... get
married."
"You wish to mate with me, Ikari-kun?"
I must be sweating bullets by now. Somehow all the senses in my body
seem to be momentarily shutting down. Well, I've gone this far, I might as well
see it through to the end.
"Well... yeah."
She seems to think about it for a while. Why is she taking so long?
Doesn't she realize that I'm dangerously close to having a heart attack here?
Wait! She's opening her mouth! She's about to answer!
"I think I would like that."
Well, I guess I should have expected that. I mean, who would want to go
out with a wuss like me? I'm a total loser! I'm... huh?
"Huh?"
"I said I think I would like that."
That's it. She said it. She said yes. I wasn't dreaming. I can't believe
it was that easy. If only I had known, I would have done this a long time ago.
Misato-san was right all along! And to think of all the times I zoned myself
out listening to my SDAT and dreaming about Rei. I could have been with the real
thing! I should have known better than to doubt Misato. Man, if I were to die
right now, I would die a happy man.
"Really? That's great! How's about I pick you up at seven?"
"That will be fine. I will be seeing you then."
As I watch her turn to leave, a question forms itself in my head. Why
wait until tomorrow night to spend time with her? The answer is simple. There's
no reason to.
"Rei! Wait!"
"Is there anything else you want to say?"
"Yeah. Can I... um... walk you home?"
She gives me one of her all too rare smiles. I would never tell Asuka,
of course, but I take great pride in the fact that other than my father, I'm the
only one she smiles for. Even then, when she smiles for my father, it's a bit
forced. It's only for me that she truly smiles.
"If you wish."
I take her hand and start walking. I can't help but smile myself as we
walk hand in hand down the road to her apartment. That wasn't so bad after all.
Mission Accomplished.
Author's notes and stuff:
Here's a slightly revised version of the fic I posted to the ffml. It
should be improved over the last one. The problem was I got so many conflicting
comments. One guy would be telling me to do one thing and the other would tell
me to do the exact opposite. Anyway, many thanks to D.B Sommer for all his help
with the technical details. I can't understand why I subconsciously seem to
type "it's" even when I know I should type "its". Weird huh? Comments and stuff
like that can be sent to ex_fuk@yahoo.com or ex_fuk@edsamail.com.ph.