Teens and Sex
Hobi Reader
Viewpoint
Grad Student, MALA
This article is not being printed in its original from. It had to
be edited to be 'acceptable' to run in the Daily Aztec.
The original article was said to be promoting teen sex. That was
not my intention. I wrote the article in a very straightforward manner
to get the reader to pay attention to my message.
Unfortunately, it was vetoed and censored. We can say only certain
things in the paper, and I was told I stepped over the line by making
statements which might have been misconstrued as offensive or in poor taste.
Freedom of the press is something spoken of, but not necessarily practiced.
Forgive me for selling out by rewriting this piece so that it could
be printed. It is not the way I chose to write it, but the way I am being
forced to write in order to be printed.
With that out of the way, here is the 'abridged' article.
Teens have sex, that is a proven fact. It happens whether we like
it or not. I believe in the power of education to give teens the tools they
need to stay safe if they choose to have sex.
I have a teenage son. I have been teaching him about sex since he
started asking, which was a very long time ago. I answered every question
he had and then some. He’s 16. Now this may shock many of you, but I
think it’s perfectly natural for a teenage boy or girl of this age to engage
in sex. I am not condoning, sanctioning or encouraging him to have sex.
Indiscriminate sex is something I have taught him NOT to engage in.
I started giving him condoms a few years ago, and asked him to pass
them out to his sexually active friends. I taught him about pregnancy,
STDs, the emotional impact of having sex with someone, abortion, AND
choosing to wait until marriage. This last one was difficult for me because
it is not part of my own belief system. But I felt that I had to give him
all of the information he needed to make the right choices. I had to tell
him about things that I didn’t even believe in. The choice was ultimately
his.
When we tell a kid not to do something, it is usually what they do
first. This is not just regarding sex, but almost any behavior we consider
unacceptable. Teens are in a funny slot; we tell them to act like adults
but we deprive them of most of the things adults get to do. It’s not
really fair.
If my son chooses to have sex, I can’t stop him. He has the
opportunity to do as he pleases. Some parents would shudder if they thought
their teen was sexually active. Many of their children probably are. I do
not shudder and I do not rant and rave at him. The reason? I trust him
completely.
Now, understand, this is no perfect kid we are talking about. He’s
a rat-fink most of the time. He doesn’t have a job. He sucks me dry for
money. He stays out too late. He is irresponsible at times. If you want to
walk through his room you need a shovel. But the difference between me and
many other parents? I live in reality.
The sad thing is that many of those kids’ parents think that by
not talking to their kids about it, they will not have sex. Wrong!! Those
are the kids who get HIV, get pregnant, contract STDs and sometimes end up
being thrown out of the house because there is a baby. What a surprise.
Some of the time this sex education does not fall into the religious
or social belief a parent has. But that’s no excuse not to teach them! It
is a bonus, because if a parent is believes that waiting is the key, it’s
very scary for the teens to hear about all the 'what ifs.'
Teens can be very immature and make poor choices. This happens to
be the way they learn. Experimentation with sex might occur before they are
really mature enough to make good choices. The best thing we can do to
protect them is to be open and honest about the repercussions of unprotected
sex. It does not help to pretend it doesn’t not happen.
It is unfortunate the schools aren’t dealing with these issues
the way they should. But the schools are not where kids learn most of the
practical information they need. It is usually through friends and family.
It is up to parents to fill in the gaps.
We are biological creatures, and the sex drive is the probably the
strongest one. Unfortunately this drive is probably the strongest at a
time when it’s culturally unacceptable to have those feelings.
In our own past and currently in many other cultures this is the
age when marriages are common. Our uptight, right-wing, single-minded,
Judeo-Christian culture it is the exception rather than the rule.
Some of the kids will have sex. But let’s teach them everything we
can. The teen years should be a time for practice, investigation and fun.
Not a time for shame, embarrassment and unwanted parenthood.
If you would like to see the real article, my e mail address is
below.. I will send it to anyone who requests it.
Peace to you all. And all apologies for my selling out.
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