i'd like to know about you.

Each week, Mr. Battaglia searches the world for one person whose life he can fully influence. This week, Paul influenced/changed the life of Chris McCarthy, a Binghamton freshman originally from Huntington. As we all know, most Long Islanders are warped, possibly delusional, and are in need of counseling. This is because they are from the suburbs. Suburbs=mischief. Unfortunately, Mr. McCarthy did not appear to fit this stereotype of Long Islanders. However, Mr. Battaglia recognized that this might be part of his delusion. The story begins on Saturday when Mr. Battaglia noticed McCarthy was not feeling well. Battaglia used his 24-hour J.Crew emergency line to order McCarthy a navy rollneck sweater (only $38.00 everyday!). McCarthy was immediately enthused, felt much better. This week's life lesson is that an order from J.Crew will make everyone feel better. Always. Call 800.562.0258 or visit jcrew.com.

 The Valentine's Day Story

Many years ago, in an attempt to scare boyfriends and husbands everywhere, Hallmark executives met with chocolatiers and florists from around the world. They devised a scam so outrageous that it would bilk millions from unsuspecting suitors everywhere, and would make them feel special as they threw away their money. Hence, Valentine's Day was born as we know it. For single people, the holiday is seen as a waste, this year it can be construed as Black Friday. For those with a significant other, the holiday is no less daunting. What flowers to buy. Roses? Chocolates? Stuffed Animal? Card? And cards are the worst. I searched Hallmark to find a suitable card that was cute, witty, adorable, meaninful, sweet, and did NOT say "I Love You" for 30 minutes. If you don't go all-out for Valentine's Day, you suck. If you do, you're a sucker. We're damned if we do. and damned if we don't. Thanks large corporations. Men and women the world over thank you. For today's loveable, huggable gentelman, I suggest the following: be original. Be remembered. I think the holiday is a sham. But I enjoy buying into shams. And this sham gets us lots of kisses...