SECOND GUESSES for paper of Friday, 2/4/00

Today's paper has a little bit of everything. We have a strong piece of
narrative writing. We have an exclusive report. We have several other
examples of story-telling tools put to good use. We have a column written
by a dog. It must be Friday.

HIGHLIGHTS:

-Photographer ANDREW SILK took the initiative, and the result is our p.1
centerpiece, a touching narrative that follows the story of those
about-to-be-displaced persons at the Walnut Hills trailer court. Writers
MARY BARZEE & PAUL DAILING followed Andrew's lead. I hope you notice the
nice reversal of the typical introduction. Usually, we'll use an anecdote
or piece of description as a narrative hook to catch readers for a
hard-news report. This time, the intro is the news. That does an effective,
if different, job of scene-setting and allows the writers to tell Frances
King's story as it happened. Among its other virtues, this piece
illustrates the value of on-the-scene reporting. No telephone call could
have captured the detail or encountered the neighbors that make this story
come alive.

-On the Second Front, JULIA WILLE puts description to good use ("The U.S.
flag drifted in the wind....) as she reports on the petition campaign by
firefighters seeking collective bargaining rights. This is a good example
of taking readers into the scene while also reporting the hard facts. The
combination almost always makes for a story that is both more readable and
more informative.

-Jeff City Bureau Chief Phillips Brooks said MICHAEL PATRICK CARNEY was
surfing the porno sites when he stumbled across "killbill.com." Phill might
do that, but I'm confident Michael has higher moral standards. Both,
however, have a keen sense of news. The result is a Missourian exclusive
that attracted the attention of the Secret Service even before publication.
When Michael called the feds for reaction, that reaction was to pump him
for information and guidance to the guy. Phill advised the eager
investigators to check Missouri Digital News, our statewide online news
service, for the story itself. I hope we remembered to share this one with
the AP.

-I pointed out last week that Senior City Editor Jody Sowell is previewing
the redesign's themed feature sections with the Education page this season.
Today's chapter, written by ANDREA LONGORIA and photographed by JENNA
ISAACSON, is especially strong. Beginning with an overloaded fifth-grader,
Andrea combines narrative with expert commentary to give readers a
narrative/report that is interesting while it educates. The TONY STASIEK
graphics, despite an overflow of black ink, show the national trends and
offer tips that parents can use. If we can follow this model after March
19, our pullout sections are likely to be pulled out and kept a while.

-Imagination is a writer's friend. Consider this lede on an
otherwise-routine report of a Columbia College basketball game:

     With the warmer temperatures on Thursday, Columbia College forward
Lawrence Thomas decided finally to come out of his season-long hibernation.

JOSE FLORES found an off-beat way to tell us that the guy ended, or at
least interrupted, a slump.

-Sometimes, though, an extra detail adds only confusion. See, for example,
our report on the Rock Bridge basketball game:

     Rock Bridge girls basketball coach Karen Kraemer battled a cold
Thursday night as her Bruins attempted to build a two-game win streak for
the first time this season....

There's never any further reference to the coach's cold. So what's it doing
in the lede? The trick is to search out RELEVANT detail.

This has been, overall, a pretty good week for us. Let's build on it.

George Kennedy
managing editor