Elayne Boosler
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."

Billy Crystal
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Francois Giroud
Equal rights for the sexes will be achieved when mediocre women occupy high positions.

Sue Grafton
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

Robert A. Heinlein
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Abbey Hoffman
The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Kay Ingram
Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind.

Erica Jong
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

Jay Leno
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Jay Leno
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?

Conan O'Brien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.

Dorthy Parker
Woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say "No" in any of them.

Maryann Person
Behind every successful man is a suprised woman.

Georges Pompidou
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, and the surest is with technicians.

Freddie Prinze Jr.
They hit way too hard! I boxed with a girl once and I'll never do it again.

Will Rogers
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

Margaret Thatcher
Generally (especially in politics), if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

James Thurber
I hate women because they always know where things are.

Faith Whittlesey
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.

Natalie Wood
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.