A Lighter Philosophy

“Never give up your friends, they know too much.” Not many people have looked at friendships in that way before. It is my philosophy on friendships, ever since I read a Bic lighter with that phrase on it.. I believe that there are three types of friends. One type is close friends, another type is acquaintances, and the others, you put up with, because they know too much. Having one’s deepest, darkest secrets broadcast throughout one’s high school, because I told someone how I really feel about them is not worth the trouble.

I have many close friends that I have accumulated over the years. One of my close friends for the past four years is Brandi. She was my first lasting friendship in Florida. What we talk about has changed a lot in the time we have been friends. It used to be about crushes on guys that were out of our reach or the latest gossip. Now, it’s about work, school, STDs, sex, and our love lives. For me, she is the only link left to my high school, a place where I would love to go back to and that she would love to leave. Michele and I have known each other for about three years and have gotten closer since all our other friends have gone away to college. I think that the closest friend I have ever had, has also been the hardest to deal with and understand. I originally became his friend, because I wanted to date him. I have known him for the past three years and we have really gotten to know each other. We did date for a while, but found out that we should just stick to friends. We do not talk to each other very often, but when we do, it can get very interesting. There are only two things that have gone wrong in our friendship. One thing is that we are very overprotective of each other, which often gets in the way of one another’s relationships. The other thing is that sometimes we do not realize what is really going on with our emotions for each other. Sometimes we are unaware of what we are doing or saying until it's too late.

The second kind of friend I have are my acquaintances. These are the people that I could very easily talk to every day for hours about the stupidest little things. I used to be able to walk down the hallway at my high school and say hello to at least fifty people. They do not know much about my personal life other than what they have heard in gossip and I do not know much about them either. We may go out to the mall together, or go to Mike Greenwell’s, but that’s not very often. Rita, Kim, John, and Nikki were a few of my acquaintances from band. Apart from band, we did not go anywhere together or talk on the phone. I have also met some new people that fit into this category on the internet. Vic Martinez, Mike Ficca, Colonel Dan McGuire, and Professor Chris Harrington are just a sampling of the people I met on this new found source for friends. For now, these gentlemen and I only talk, but hopefully in the future I will get to meet them. Other acquaintances that I have are fellow classmates, old teachers or coaches, high school friends that are away at college, and all CCHS band members.

The final type of friend that I have is the kind that one just has to accept. They may have been a good friend at one time, but since then there has been a disagreement and now they are not speaking to you. The best strategy is to pretend the argument never happened, but wait a little while for things to cool off before you talk to them. Many times I have wanted to tell my friend Kenny that he is a jerk, but I was too afraid that he will run around and tell everyone everything I have told him. This past year, my sister decided that she was going to throw a surprise party for me, for my birthday, and she asked my friend Toni for help. Toni decided that she should tell me about the party, which made my sister very upset. I did not hate her, for it, but I have not told her anything that is a secret, because I know she has a big mouth.

I have believed in this theory on friendships for about three years now, and I have yet to come up with a better one. I believe that no matter what kind of friendship two people have, everything that they talked about should be a secret and not discussed with others or become gossip. It takes effort, truthfulness, and understanding for a friendship to work. If a person is works at, these friendships will last a lifetime.

© 1997 Bwills19@Juno.com