Ode to My Breastplate

by Ellen Rosenshein
Oh breastplate, my breastplate,
You shield me so well,
From the slings and arrows
Of outrageous fencers.
What would I do without you?
Suffer the indignity of frisbees,
That cover nothing but my tummy.
Or be unprotected,
Like a round house with no corners.
Oh breastplate, my breastplate,
How I would miss you,
If you cracked.
I feel stronger than Xena
And Wonder Woman combined,
With your plastic protection
Strapped to my chest.
Oh breastplate, my breastplate,
How do I love thee?
Let me count the bruises.
Oh wait, there are none.
Thank you, my breastplate.

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