+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
| |
| ################################# ##### ##### ##### |
| # # # # # # # # |
| ######## ###################### ##### # # # # |
| # # # # ##### # # |
| # # ##### ##### ##### # # # # # # |
| # # # # ##### # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # |
| # # # # # # # # # # # # |
| ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### |
| |
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
THIS WEEK IN WRESTLING presents:
THE SUMMIT OF E-WRESTLING
=-=-=-=-=
[Cue music: "Kiss That Frog" by Peter Gabriel, playing over assorted clips
of wrestling from all the big federations. Cut the the Summit Control
Center in New York City, where George DiCraig and Drip Allan Dry are
seated.]
DiCraig: Hello, wrestling fans, and welcome to day one of the Summit Of
E-Wrestling! I'm George DiCraig, and I am joined by former ECWA President,
Drip Allan Dry. Mr. Dry, it's a pleasure to have you here with us this
evening!
Dry: Well, George, it's a pleasure to be here. We have some fantastic
action on the bill today, as we do for the remaining 6 days of E-wrestling!
DiCraig: That's right, Mr. Dry. We have the first days of
inter-federational matches on the bill tonight. And, judging by the look
on that monitor over there, we're ready to hand it over to the OWCH's own
Jim Martin and Tony "The Tiger" Malone, live at Le Forum in Montreal!
==========================================================================
Summit Inter-Federation Matches
Hosted by the OWCH from the Montreal Forum
With Your Hosts: Jim Martin and Tony 'the Tiger' Malone
Martin: "Welcome, one and all, to the first day of Summit Inter-
Federational Matches! We're broadcasting on the full TWIW Network
today, so you'll have to excuse Tony and I if we're a little nervous."
Malone: "Speak for yourself, Jimbo, a true e-wrestling great such as
myself thrives on this sort of attention! What you'll all have to
excuse is Jimbo's tuxedo - he ripped the seat covers off of 12
different cars to get the material."
Martin: "Just getting in the Christmas spirit, Tony. And I hope everyone
out there had a Merry one. Here's the agenda for tonight's action:"
Interfed Survivor Series Tournament matches:
OWCH Team (Angelmaker, Johnny 'Flyboy' Fredricks, Black Panther,
'The Unbelievable' Truth Williams, 'Blackheart' Bart
Casanova)
vs.
ESW Team ('Irish Whip' Rick O'Malley, Thunderbomb Peterson, 'Simply the
Best' Barry Bromowitz, 600 Pound Gorilla, Running Eagle
Feather)
UeWF Team ('Juggernaut' Mike Titan, Magnus Bane, Arch-Angel, 'Sniper'
Scott Johnston, Deathmonger)
vs.
EMWA Team (Jake 'Canadian' Shield, Wolverine, Ric 'Tower' Shield,
Cougar, Bonecrusher)
Survivors to meet in final match at end of card
Marcus Prime and Steve Dragon (UeWF) vs. Ready To Rumble
Admiral Ax (UeWF) vs. Death Croc (MBWF) for the TWiW Title
Matches from the Armed Forces/Falkner Wrestling Enterprises
Challenge:
Female Fury, Deborah Ann, Andrea Mahler, and the Angels
of the Night [FWE] vs. The Masked Maniacs [Armed Forces]
Mike Falkner (OWCH) vs Loki
'Thunderstorm' Terry Thompson (OWCH) vs. Crp. Crush (UeWF)
Starfire (OWCH) vs. P.L. Punisher (UeWF)
Power Force (UeWF) vs. Doom (UeWF)
Electric Fire (UeWF) vs. Double Trouble
Steve Powers (UeWF) vs. Zangief The Terrible (UeWF)
American Eagle (UeWF) vs. Gilles Saumon (UeWF) (Texas Death/Hair vs.
Hair Steel Cage Match, Lady Liberty and Luna Cochon in cages suspended
above the ring, Sir Walter Raleigh barred from ringside)
Mike Falkner (OWCH) vs. 'Devastator' Derek Machismo (MBWF) in a Pure
Science match - first rule infraction results in loss. If Machismo
wins, he gets a shot at Electric Youth's MBWF Title at some later
date
Gladiators (UeWF) vs. Original Gangstaz (UeWF) in a Gladiator Joust
Match: special variation of scaffold match
Malone: "However, things might not go down exactly that way... there was
an incident in the parking lot earlier tonight, and fortunately we had
a camera out there to record the carnage for you, our gentle viewer."
(The American Eagle is pulling into the parking lot of the arena, with Jim
Nice driving and Lady Liberty in the back. As they pull in a larger
Suburban pulls up behind him blocking his way out, suddenly the Cochon
Brothers leap out of the truck pulling the American Eagle from the car,
and they start pummeling him. Jim Nice rushes out to the Eagle's defense,
but Sir Walter Raleigh "cold cocks" him with his cane, some dialog is
picked up).
Mad Cat: So you think you can shave my daughter's head, well let's see how
well you can work your scissors after this.
(The Cochons put the Eagle's "Claw hand" in the car's door and SLAM the door
on his hand. The Eagle shrieks in agony, and Lady Liberty runs toward the
arena to get security. The Cochons see the camera man and run toward him.)
Walt: Hey you... put down that camera, come here!
Mad Cat: Let's get him....
(camera then loses focus and fades to black)
Martin: "That was a despicable act, and I hope the Cochons and Sir Walter
Raleigh are fined and suspended..."
Malone: "Okay, I'll take care of that - since this is an OWCH venue, the
Cochons are hereby suspended from OWCH events for, hmm, a hundred years.
Is that good enough for you?"
Martin: "You know very well what I mean, Tony. According to preliminary
medical reports, the Eagle might have to forfeit his Texas Death match
later on in the card."
Malone: "Cry me a river. Let's see some real men fight, like Angelmaker and
Barry Bromowitz."
Martin: "The OWCH team has three light-heavies on it, while the ESW have
rolled out the big guns in Thunderbomb Peterson and 600 Pound Gorilla.
The OWCH don't have anybody to match that kind of power, Tony."
Malone: "They're gonna have to stick and move, wear the big men down with
frequent tags. It's gonna be an interesting match, Jimbo."
Martin: "And we've got comments from some of the participants:"
[The camera opens on the ESW Eliminators, standing left to right:
Barry Bromowitz, the 600-lb. Gorilla, team captain "Irish Whip" Rick O'Malley,
Running Eagle Feather, and Thunderbomb Peterson. All five seem excited...]
O'Malley: What a fantastic way to start off the Summit! ESW fans, get ready,
cause you're about t'see exactly why the ESW is the finest and
toughest e-wrestling fed on the Net! This is a busy week for me, but
I'm as proud as can be t'represent the e-fed I've represented *three
times* as World Champion - ESW Wrestling - and my Eliminators are
going t'help me...
SPG: The 600 Pound GORILLA is now the 600 LB Survivor!!! Now everyone
will know the awesome fury of the Gorilla! You can't keep a good
Gorilla down -- Gorillamania is gonna run wiiilllllddddddd!!!!!
Thunderbomb: Except for my partner Sonic Boom, I couldn't ask for better
teammates. I may not like all of them, but I do respect them all, and
we -will- take the Survivor Series win back to the ESW!
REF: I'm glad to be a part of the ESW Eliminators! With some teamwork,
some hard work, and a bit of luck, we'll reach the top of the Summit!
O'Malley, Thunderbomb, Gorilla - I haven't worked with you guys yet,
but from what people tell me, I'm glad we're on the same team!
Bromowitz, if you want to put aside our differences for a while and
take this thing to its logical conclusion -- ESW dominance -- then
let's do it! Just don't think I'm going to turn the cheek - got that?
Bromowitz: Whatever... [turning to camera] You OWCH clowns don't stand a
chance! With my leadership...
O'Malley: Hold on a minute - I'm the captain here, me boyo!
Bromowitz: Yeah, whatever! With my leadership, we can't lose! Let's face
it, we're gonna win because we've got the greatest athlete in wrestling
on our side... me! [the other ESW guys start grumbling...]
And these guys aren't too shabby either. After Barry-mania
gets through with you, you can say you've been beaten by the best...
and these guys too. [Barry pats himself on the back]
O'Malley: *Anyway*, UeWF, OWCH, whomever - ye all need t'watch out, 'cause
regardless of who's put up against us in the ring, -we've- proven
ourselves as SURVIVORS. Later on this week, I'll have the chance to
survive 39 other men in the Royale Rumble, -and- the opportunity to
take m'title back from Dr.Feelgood t'become a *four* time World Champ,
but tonight, ALL our energy is t'be focused on one thing - proving to
the Net that if ye want the best wrestlers and the toughest action, ye
are talkin' about the ESW. Nothing else comes close.
[camera fades...]
OWCH Survivor Series Team: Angelmaker, Johnny 'Flyboy' Fredricks, Black
Panther, 'The Unbelievable' Truth Williams, 'Blackheart' Bart
Casanova, with managers Ace Diamond, Doktor Gestapo, and 'Master
Spokesman' Johnny 'L.A.' Gere
vs.
ESW Survivor Series Team: 'Irish Whip' Rick O'Malley, Thunderbomb Peterson,
'Simply the Best' Barry Bromowitz, 600 Pound Gorilla, Running Eagle
Feather, with manager Jack Moran
As the two teams were introduced, Fredricks, Williams, O'Malley, Gorilla
and Peterson all got cheered by the crowd; the rest were generally booed.
The ref (a GCW veteran) advised the two team captains of the rules -
O'Malley nodded and seemed impatient to start, the enigmatic Angelmaker just
stared at the ESW team. There was a delay as the two teams tried to sort
out who would start. On the OWCH side, all three managers tried to talk
to Angelmaker at once; Angelmaker ignored them and pointed at Fredricks,
much to Gestapo's disgust. On the ESW team, O'Malley got into an argument
with Barry Bromowitz, who seemed to think he was the captain; the dilemma
was solved when the 600 Pound Gorilla lumbered into the ring, and nobody
seemed eager to stop him.
Fredricks and the Gorilla squared off; the light-heavyweight from the OWCH
struck first with a dropkick, followed quickly by a spinning elbow. Neither
seemed to phase the Gorilla, and he tossed Fredricks back to the OWCH corner.
Fredricks tagged to Truth Williams, who vaulted over the ropes and nailed
Gorilla with a backflipping dropkick. Williams ducked under a Gorilla forearm
and whipped the Gorilla to the ropes. Williams took Gorilla over with a
Japanese armdrag, but the Gorilla got up quickly and elbowed Williams. Gorilla
slammed Williams, then tagged to Thunderbomb Peterson. Peterson locked
Williams in a headlock, but Williams shoved him away and ducked under
Peterson's clothesline on the way back. Peterson bounced off the ropes
again, but Williams surprised him with a crucifix for a two-count. Peterson
tagged to Running Eagle Feather, who clotheslined Williams and then
belly-to-back suplexed him. REF went to the top rope and hit with the
'Spirit Walk' cross-body block, but Williams kicked out at two. REF whipped
Williams to the ropes, and Jack Moran hit Williams with his cane! Williams
collapsed, but REF yelled at Moran instead of covering. Moran jumped up on
the apron to talk to REF, but REF would have none of it and shoved Moran
off the apron! Truth Williams had recovered, and rolled REF up from behind;
the surprised REF couldn't kick out in time, and was eliminated. Brewster
Cogburn came down to ringside to try and make peace between REF and Moran,
and the three left for the locker room.
That made it five on four in favour of the OWCH, so 'Irish Whip' Rick
O'Malley charged in to try and even the score. O'Malley shoulderblocked
Williams, but he fell back into the OWCH corner and tagged to Fredricks;
Casanova and Black Panther seemed impatient to get in, but the ref kept
them back. Fredricks chopped O'Malley, then whipped him to the ropes and
armdragged him. Fredricks switched to an armbar to keep the bigger man
down, but O'Malley took his feet out from under him, then picked Fredricks
up for an atomic kneebreaker. O'Malley tagged to Peterson, who suplexed
Fredricks and got a two-count. Peterson nailed a backbreaker and tagged
back to O'Malley, who locked his Banshee Deathlock in the middle of the
ring. The ref kept the OWCH team back, and Fredricks had to submit.
Black Panther charged in and clotheslined O'Malley from behind, then raked
his eyes and slammed him. Panther tagged to Bart Casanova, who elbowed
O'Malley and threw a punch, but O'Malley blocked and kicked Casanova in
the gut. O'Malley spiked Casanova, then tagged to Barry Bromowitz.
Bromowitz locked Casanova in an abdominal stretch and shouted 'Now you're
going to school!' Bromowitz rolled Casanova over for a one count. Casanova
chopped Bromowitz across the neck and whipped him to the ropes, but
Bromowitz ducked under and stopped his momentum at the opposite ropes,
then patted himself on the back. Casanova charged Bromowitz, but Bromowitz
back body dropped him over the ropes. Bromowitz shouted 'Look at me rule!'
and got booed by the crowd. He patted himself on the back, but Black
Panther charged in and elbowed Bromowitz. This brought Gorilla, O'Malley,
and Peterson in, and the OWCH team followed. The ref tried to keep both
teams apart, but as he was separating them and herding them back to the
corner, Bart Casanova grabbed the ring bell and clocked Bromowitz with
it. Casanova covered as the ref turned around and made the count.
Rick O'Malley came in for the ESW, and he and Casanova locked up. O'Malley
belly-to-belly suplexed Casanova, then put him on the top rope and
superplexed him. O'Malley tried the Banshee lock again, but Casanova
grabbed the ropes. O'Malley broke cleanly, and Casanova elbowed him then
ran him head-first into the OWCH corner. Casanova tagged to Black Panther,
who sunset-flipped O'Malley out of the corner for a one count. Black
Panther applied an arm bar, but O'Malley powered up and slammed Panther.
O'Malley dropped a fist, then tagged to Peterson who took Panther over
with a gutwrench suplex. Panther raked the eyes and hiptossed Peterson,
then bounced off the ropes for a flying shoulderblock, but he just bounced
off the much bigger Peterson. Peterson body slammed Panther, then locked
him an abdominal stretch and tagged to O'Malley. O'Malley kicked Panther
in the ribs, and then applied a backbreaker. O'Malley went for the Banshee
deathlock again, but Doktor Gestapo jumped on the apron and hit O'Malley
with a chair. Black Panther tried to crawl back to his corner, but O'Malley
was closer and tagged to the 600 Pound Gorilla. Gorilla splashed Panther
in the middle of the ring. Gorilla picked Panther up for a bear hug, and
Panther submitted.
That brought it back to an even match, three on three. Bart Casanova came
in, the biggest man left on the OWCH team, and locked up with Gorilla;
Gorilla tossed him back to the buckles. Casanova charged out for a shoulder
block, but he just bounced off Gorilla. Gorilla whipped Casanova to a
neutral corner and avalanched him, then covered for three.
That put the ESW ahead for the first time in the match. Angelmaker sent
Truth Williams in, and he caught Gorilla with a drop toe-hold and went to
work on one leg. Williams got an Indian deathlock on the big man, but
Gorilla made it to the ropes. Williams tagged to Angelmaker, who was making
his first appearance in the match, and Angelmaker took Gorilla down with
a double-leg amateur takedown that he quickly turned into a Boston Crab.
But Gorilla was still too strong, and powered out. Gorilla tagged to
Peterson, who whipped Angelmaker to the ropes and then back body-dropped
him to the canvas. Peterson powerbombed Angelmaker and covered, but
Angelmaker somehow kicked out and dived for the tag. Truth Williams came
in and took Peterson down with a Japanese armdrag, then slapped on the
STF, but Peterson reached out and tagged to Rick O'Malley. O'Malley dropped
an elbow to Williams' back, breaking the hold, then whipped him to the
ropes and hit with a spinebuster. O'Malley picked Williams up for a torture
rack, and Williams submitted.
Angelmaker looked around for another team member to send in, but he was the
only one left. He climbed in the ring and locked up with O'Malley, taking
him down into a headlock. Angelmaker quickly hiptossed O'Malley into a
pinning position, but O'Malley rolled with it and got a two count on
Angelmaker. Angelmaker picked O'Malley up and delivered a backbreaker, then
whipped him to the ropes, but O'Malley tagged to Peterson and bounced back.
Angelmaker armdragged O'Malley, but Peterson vaulted over the ropes and
clotheslined Angelmaker from behind. Peterson powerbombed Angelmaker and
tagged to the Gorilla, who jumped off the top rope and splashed Angelmaker.
The ref counted to three, and the final OWCH team member was eliminated.
Martin: "An impressive victory for the ESW team! It was the three big guys
that survived to the end, so Rick O'Malley, Thunderbomb Peterson, and
600 Pound Gorilla will advance to the final match."
Malone: "That's a hell of a team - two former World champs, and a top
contender. Whoever wins our next match, they'll have a tough time
winning the whole shooting match unless they can put a lot of guys in
the final."
Martin: "Next up, the UeWF team will take on a team comprised of EMWA
veterans. Let's hear from those involved..."
[The camera opens on "the Juggernaut", Mike Titan, captain of the interfed
Survivor Series team, the "Unstoppable UeWF"...]
"The Summit - where the best warriors oof the e-ring come from all
over the Net to find out just -who- is on top. I get to take part in the
6-man tournament -and- the Royale Rumble, so I do not doubt that I will find
much glory this week, but it starts off TONIGHT, where I lead 4 other men,
drawn from the top ranks of the UeWF, to represent our federation and the
competition there against others.
"The UeWF is the largest, toughest, roughest, e-fed ever! When you
can say you hold a title there, like *MY* Atlantic title [Titan taps the belt
slung over his broad shoulder], you truly earn respect, because you are at
the top of a -mountain- of men.
"Joining me tonight are four others at the top. First the two men
competing for the Pacific Title, the current champ Magnus Bane, and the man he
just won it from - "Sniper" Scott Johnson. Don't mistake the rivalry between
the two for team problems either - both men have set aside their differences
for the time being.
"The other two - they will soon challenge -me- for my title. They are
the Deathmonger, a long-time top contender, and the Archangel, a new UeWF
superstar who has fast risen to the top! Together, we represent the UeWF, and
we will prove that the UeWF... is UNSTOPPABLE!!!"
[Deathmonger stands with new manager Matt D. Tall. Deathmonger is in a new
outfit, a black top with a crossbones on it, and a white skull mask]
Matt D. Tall: Col. Sanders was a fine manager. His first protoge, The
Nightcreeper debuted in the UeWF ranked number 4, and never
dropped below 5 before making a run at first the Atlantic and
Pacific, then the World Championship, then held by Jim Nice.
Well, the Colonel has had enough wrestling for a while, and
he needs to take some time off. So Sanders sold to me the
contracts of his wrestlers, all currently in the UeWF. And that
includes this man, one fifth of the Unstoppable UeWF,
Deathmonger!
Deathmonger: That's right! The Colonel lead me all the way to the top of the
UeWF, but now it's time for someone else to take me even
higher! And that someone is Matt D. Tall! His first act as new
manager was to get me on the Unstoppable UeWF team, and after
the Summit, he's going to get me a title shot, and I'll help
bring him some gold! But right now I'm concentrating on the
Summit, in particular the Survivor Series. Now I don't really
care for some of the guys on the UeWF team, Mike Titan has been
ducking me for weeks, refusing to give me a title shot. But
I'm willing to put our diffrences aside and win one for the
UeWF! Cause the UeWF is the best there is! And I may not like
all the guys on the team, but I have to admit that they're
great wrestlers, and that's all that matters! We're going to
win it all, and after it's all over, I want a shot at that
belt, Titan!
[Fade to black]
UeWF Survivor Series Team: 'Juggernaut' Mike Titan, Magnus Bane, Arch-Angel,
'Sniper' Scott Johnston, Deathmonger
vs.
EMWA Survivor Series Team: Jake 'Canadian' Shield, Wolverine, Ric 'Tower'
Shield, Cougar, 'Bone Crusher' Billy Wilson
Magnus Bane, the UeWF Pacific champion, started off against Jake Shield,
the last reigning EMWA North American champion. They locked up, and Jake
came up with a top wristlock on Bane, then turned it into a hammerlock.
Bane reversed, but Shield reversed again and moved into a chicken-wing. Bane
grabbed the ropes, and Shield broke cleanly. They locked up again, and this
time Bane used his power to toss Shield back into a neutral corner, then
tried an avalanche, but Shield ducked out of the way. Shield belly-to-back
suplexed Bane out of the corner, then tagged to his brother Ric and the
Shield Brothers double-suplexed Bane. Ric delivered a backbreaker, but Bane
rolled to his corner and tagged to the enigmatic Arch-Angel. Arch-Angel
hiptossed Shield and went to work on a leg with a spinning toehold, but
Shield kicked him back to a neutral corner. Shield charged in for an
avalanche, but Arch-Angel used a leverage move to send both men over the
ropes. Arch-Angel got up first and hit with a knee lift, followed by a
big chop, then tried to get back into the ring. But Shield tackled him and
the two brawled on the outside until they were both counted out.
That brought in Deathmonger and Wilson for their respective teams.
Wilson slammed Deathmonger, then stomped on his head. Wilson tagged
to Cougar, who landed a flying splash for a two count. Deathmonger whipped
Cougar to the ropes and kicked him in the gut, then landed a DDT and covered,
but Wolverine made the save. Deathmonger tagged to Mike Titan, who slammed
Cougar and then tried to pick him up for a piledriver, but Cougar somehow
blocked and back body-dropped Titan. Cougar hit with a drop kick, then an
elbow smash, and then tagged to Jake Shield. The two hit with a double body
slam, and Shield covered for one. Titan dived for a tag to 'Sniper' Scott
Johnston. Johnston and Shield circled warily, then Johnston hit with a
snap kick and then a belly-to-belly suplex. Shield rolled to his corner and
tagged back to Cougar, who charged in and clotheslined Johnston to the mat.
Cougar whipped Johnston to the ropes and leaped for a flying clothesline, but
Johnston partially ducked out of the way and the two wrestlers knocked heads.
That put both men on the mat, and neither could get up before the ten
count.
That left the match 3 on 3. Jake Shield came in for the EMWA, and Deathmonger
for the UeWF. Deathmonger got the advantage with a knee lift and axehandles
to the back, then hit with a gutwrench suplex. Deathmonger went to the second
rope and hit with a big splash, but only got a two count. Deathmonger picked
Shield up and chopped him, then tried for a hammerlock, but Shield reversed
into a double-underhook position and suplexed Deathmonger. Shield then locked
in a full-nelson and took Deathmonger over in a Dragon Suplex, but
Deathmonger just barely kicked out. Shield tagged to Wilson, who
shoulder-blocked Deathmonger to the mat, then planted Deathmonger with a
spike move. Wilson covered, and Deathmonger got his foot on the rope,
but Fender Marshall shoved the foot off before the ref noticed it.
Wilson got the pin.
Magnus Bane charged in and clipped Wilson from behind, then landed
an atomic kneebreaker. He laid Wilson's leg across the ropes and jumped
on it, then tagged to Titan. The UeWF Atlantic champ locked in a scorpion
deathlock in the middle of the ring, and Wilson had to submit.
Jake Shield came in for the EMWA and locked up with Titan; Titan powered
Shield back to a neutral corner. They broke cleanly, and Titan landed a big
forearm. Titan whipped Shield to the ropes and ducked for a back body drop,
but Shield sunset-flipped him. Magnus Bane made the save before the three
count. Wolverine charged in to even the odds, clotheslining Bane and then
jumping on Titan and pummeling him. Shield tossed Bane out of the ring and
then took Titan over with a Northern Lights suplex, but the ref was busy
getting Wolverine out of the ring. Meanwhile, Magnus Bane rolled back into
the ring with a metal clipboard that Fender Marshall had left at ringside,
and he clocked Shield with it. The ref turned around to see a dazed Titan
covering an unconcious Shield, and made the three count.
Wolverine charged in to try and take Titan out quickly, taking Titan down
with a big shoulder block. Wolverine slammed Titan and then yelled at
Bane, who started to get in the ring. The ref tried to keep them apart, but
Wolverine had turned his back on his opponent; Titan executed a belly-to-back
suplex with a bridge, and got the three count.
Martin: "That means that 'Juggernaut' Mike Titan and Magnus Bane will advance
to represent the UeWF against the ESW team of 'Irish Whip' Rick O'Malley,
Thunderbomb Peterson, and 600 Pound Gorilla. We'll see that match later
in the card."
Malone: "And up next we'll see a guy who's almost as much of a druglord
as Bobby Windsor, Marcus Prime!"
Martin: "You can't seriously tell me you believe Fender Marshall's
allegations."
Malone: "Hey, Jimbo, the man has pictures - that's all the evidence I
need."
Martin: "The National Center of UFOlogy has recently declared those
pictures to be 100% accurate, which is all the evidence I need to
dismiss them..."
Malone: "Ignoramus. You probably think Mike Falkner has always been a
guy, too."
Martin: "Nevertheless, let's go to our first regular tag match of the
night... first, we have comments from the Superstar Express."
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_THE_*_*_*_S_U_P_E_R_S_T_A_R_*_*_E_X_P_R_E_S_S_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
[The camera opens on manager Dr.Washington Power with his proteges,
"Mr.Fantasy" Steve Dragon and former UeWF World Champion Marcus Prime...]
Dr. Washington Power: This is it! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the
Summit is here! This is where the past, present, and future of
e-wrestling all meet from across the net. As always, my Superstar
Express is in the thick of everything, starting with a bit of
unfinished business, right?
Steve Dragon: Right, Doc. Tonight, we show those two unemployed bouncers,
Ready to Rumble, what we've shown to Beavis and Butt-head, Cpl. Crush,
and all the rest: you get in the path of the Superstar Express, you
get run over!
Marcus Prime: Guys, you could'a just walked away. You -had- to interfere in
my title match though, jeopardizing my championship. Now you've found
your way into the Royale Rumble - what next, actual wrestling? Well,
if you can last against us, you might have a chance. In the meantime,
we've got a lesson to teach you, so get ready to be SCHOOLED!
Then it's on to other business...
Dr. Power: That means the Slick Rick Cup for you Marcus, and another
interesting situation. It seems Ace Diamond landed up with both of his
men facing each other, and had to ask -us- for a better arraingement!
Prime: Well, the only way I'd give up the chance to whup up on
Butt-head again is for those hypocrites to give me my re-match a little
early, so not only do I get to leave the Summit with the Slick Ric
trophy, I get to wear my belt out again, too.
Of course, as there always is with Diamond, there's a catch.
Somehow, without our consent, Diamond has finagled a match with us and
two partners against Pruitt, Calhoun, and - who else? The "Nice Guys",
Jim Nice and Fred Fitness, who are so nice that instead of letting me
enjoy my clean win over Nice at Autumn Onslaught, had to try to
slander my good name and accomplishments - some gentlemen! So you
forced us into a match, probably to take me out before the Slick Ric.
That's ok; we adjust. In fact, we'll be nice enough to keep our
partners' names a secret, -just- so you guys don't have to strain
yourselves coming up with the -next- excuse for losing to the
Superstar Express and friends...
Dragon: ...and you *will* lose. We're telling you hypocrites and
whiners that right now!
Dr. Power: So don't say we didn't warn -any- of you...
[The camera fades...]
Marcus Prime and Steve Dragon (UeWF) vs. Ready To Rumble
Prime and Dragon came out first with Dr. Power, to a mixture of cheers
and boos; many fans held up anti-steroid signs. Ready To Rumble,
'Battery' Bill James and 'Monkeywrench' Dave Kunze, came out next, and
were roundly booed by the crowd.
Prime started off against James, and James challenged Prime to a test
of strength. The former UeWF World Champ easily overpowered James, but
Kunze started up a chant of "Roi-der, Roi-der". Amazingly, some of the
crowd believed him and Prime seemed upset. This gave James a chance to
nail Prime from behind with a running knee, then an elbow smash to the
back of the kneck. James suplexed Prime, then tagged to Kunze. Kunze
applied a reverse chinlock to wear Prime down, but Prime powered his way
to his feet. Kunze yanked Prime down with a handful of hair, then applied
a side headlock, but Prime reversed it into a hammerlock and tagged to
Steve Dragon.
'Mr. Fantasy' dropped a knee to Kunze's shoulder, then slapped on an
armbar and executed a hiptoss-takedown without losing the armbar. Kunze
grabbed the ropes, and Dragon broke cleanly, then ducked under an attempted
Kunze cheapshot. Dragon caught Kunze with punch in the gut, and then a
swinging neckbreaker. James charged in to make the save, but Dragon back
body dropped him onto his partner! Prime came in and picked James up in
a press, then dropped him outside the ring. Dragon went to the top rope,
but Kunze had recovered and he chopped Dragon in the stomach, knocking him
out of the ring. Prime tackled Kunze and the two brawled in the ring, but
meanwhile the ref had started a count on James and Dragon, and neither
could beat the ten count.
Martin: "I thought Prime and Dragon had the edge, but Ready 2 Rumble
put on an impressive performance."
Malone: "They were cheated out of the win! James wasn't the legal man,
but he got counted out!"
Martin: "The ref didn't see it that way, Tony. Up next, a series of
challenge matches between Falkner Wrestling Enterprises and the Armed
Forces! We'll here from Falkner's men first."
(The MBWF contingent of FWE prepares for it's matches.)
[Protector]
The time has come. Sgt. Smash, get ready to find that some barriers cannot be
smashed. Some opponents cannot and will not be drawn to their knees. The
Protector is here, and he is coming for you to help us finish well and win this
competition. We are ready for you.
[Mach One]
Unknown Soldier... err, Cpl. Crush ... err, P.L. , errr...
IT DOESN'T MATTER! I know how to beat you whomever you are. And the thing is
that you've underestimated me in a huge way, and I'm going to put you so far
through the mat that they'll need to take care of you with a spatula...
[Electric Youth]
Well, well... Admiral Ax sees me unworthy for a shot at the strap, but I beat
the challenger. Oh well, time to beat the Admiral. BIG MAN, you are big and
tough, I give you that. But it is now time that you see EXACTLY what is in
front of you. We are probably two of the top wrestlers in the world today, and
we will be ready for whatever challenges face us. My buddy Starfire is gonna
study you like a book to take care of business in the Slick Ric, but I'm going
to bury you HARD!!
And, people think I've got a Hulk Hogan complex??
(Electric Youth starts posing to "Real American" and cups his hand to his ear
before the three of them laugh...)
[Electric Youth]
Admiral Ax, I'm coming for some respect, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
Martin: "But first up is the big woman's match!"
(The FWE women prepare for their Survivor Showdown!!)
[Angels of the Night Randi]
WOO! The Summit is here and the challenge is starting, and we've got the
Masked Maniacs. Whodaheck are they??
[AotN Sherry]
Don't know, my partner, but we got a bit of training in how to adapt to any
style that the CiC can throw at us.
[Deborah Ann]
Remember, these people may or may not have wrestled before, so we can exploit
some ring rust if need be.
[Female Fury]
Let's just go out and get the advantage for our side in this team challenge.
Mike's put up a lot of cash...
[Deborah Ann]
Yeah, but the FWE cut on all of our merchandising more than took care of that
and some sizable Christmas bonuses...
[Andrea Mahler]
Stop talking bout money now, though, because we've got some work to do. The
Commander awaits our challenge...
[As the women walk out.]
Female Fury, Deborah Ann, Andrea Mahler, and the Angels
of the Night [FWE] vs. The Masked Maniacs [Armed Forces]
The Masked Maniacs entered first, to "Institutionalized" by Suicidal
Tendencies. They were booed. They were wearing masks, but it was
pretty obvious who CalamityJaneManiac and AbbyManiac were from
the "bang! bang!"'s as they entered the ring. The other three were
DeniseManiac, WilmaManiac, and ShanikaManiac. The FWE women received
cheers (and wolf-whistles) as they ran to the ring. Andrea Mahler
got in the ring for the FWE team, but while they were conferencing
in their corner, AbbyManiac charged in and avalanched her from behind.
AbbyManiac threw Mahler into the center of the ring and covered for
an easy three count.
Female Fury came in and attacked AbbyManiac. She tried a headlock,
but AbbyManiac outweighed her almost two-to-one and had no trouble
tossing her off. AbbyManiac tagged to DeniseManiac, who kicked
Female Fury, then tagged to WilmaManiac. The Women on a Warpath...
I mean, the WarpathManiacs, took turns beating on Female Fury, until
the Fury got mad, elbowed DeniseManiac, and escaped to the center of
the ring. Female Fury gave DeniseManiac a slingshot suplex, then
hooked on a figure four. WilmaManiac and ShanikaManiac came in to
try to make the save, but were cut off by the Angels of the Night,
and DeniseManiac gave up.
That made it four-on-four. CalamityJaneManiac came in for the
ArmedForces team and dropped an elbow on Female Fury as she was
releasing the figure four. Fury rolled to the corner and tagged to
Angel of the Night Sherry. Sherry was about to try a move, but
CalamityJaneManiac offered a handshake. Sherry was caught off guard,
but decided to shake hands. That was a mistake, CalamityJaneManiac bent
over and bit her on the hand. CalamityJaneManiac tagged to
ShanikaManiac who slammed Sherry, then bounced off the ropes but
missed with a kneedrop. Sherry gave ShanikaManiac a kick to the face,
then took her down with a head scissors. Sherry tagged to Angel of
the Night Randi, and the two bounced off the ropes and hit
ShanikaManiac with simultaneous flying shoulder tackles. Randi
covered and got the pin.
WilmaManiac came in, but Randi was ready for her and took her down
with a leg trip. Randi twisted WilmaManiac's arm and tagged to
Sherry, who jumped off the top rope and chopped the arm. Sherry
bounced off the ropes and knocked WilmaManiac down with a cross
body block, then hooked her leg and got a pin.
That left only CalamityJaneManiac and AbbyManiac against Deborah Ann,
Female Fury, and Angels of the Night Sherry and Randi. AbbyManiac
came in and clotheslined Sherry, then sat on top of her and punched
her in the face repeatedly. AbbyManiac stopped punching and started
sniffing the air. She looked around, then rolled out of the ring and
grabbed popcorn from a kid in the front row. While AbbyManiac was
devouring the popcorn (and the box), Sherry decided to take advantage.
She jumped from the ring apron onto AbbyManiac's back, but it had no
effect. AbbyManiac smushed what was left of the popcorn into Sherry's
hair, then set her up for the Demolition Drop, which CalamityJaneManiac
completed with an elbow from the ring apron. AbbyManiac saw a vendor
selling hot dogs and wanted to go after him, but CalamityJaneManiac made
her get back in the ring. Sherry couldn't make it back in, though,
and she was counted out.
Randi wanted to avenge her partner's defeat, so she came in next. She
was trying to figure out what move could possibly hurt AbbyManiac,
when Abby turned and ran after the hot dog vendor. Randi looked
relieved to not have to fight Abby and decided to let her be counted
out. CalamityJaneManiac ran after Abby and told her to get back in the
ring. AbbyManiac did so, but only after grabbing the hot dog vendor
(who was paralyzed with fear) and dragging him back to the
Satan'sLittleHelperManiacs' corner. Randi kicked Abby, then bounced
off the ropes and shoulderblocked her, to no avail. Abby whipped
Randi into the corner, then gave her the Abby-lanche (avalanche,
splash off the second rope). Deborah Ann came in and made the save.
Abby tagged to CalamityJaneManiac, who piledrove Randi and pinned her.
Deborah Ann came in, and got a lot of wolf-whistles for her skimpy
costume. Deborah Ann gave CalamityJaneManiac a forward suplex, then
pulled her up and DDT'd her. Jane wanted to tag to Abby, but Abby was
busy eating hot dogs. So Jane took off her boot and hit Deborah Ann
with it. Jane followed up by forcing Deborah Ann to smell her bare
foot, which got Mike Falkner complaining. Deborah Ann wasn't too
happy about it either. She tagged to Female Fury, who came in and
brawled with Calamity Jane. Fury doubled Jane over with a punch, then
gave her a rolling neckbreaker and covered. Jane kicked out, so
Fury splashed her and covered again. Jane kicked out again. Female
Fury whipped Jane off the ropes and power slammed her, but AbbyManiac
made the save. AbbyManiac was glaring at the referee, and Calamity
Jane explained that Abby couldn't find enough relish for her hot dog.
The referee pointed out the concession stand, and Abby headed there.
Calamity Jane turned her attention back to the match, only to be met
with flying drop kicks from Deborah Ann and Female Fury. Deborah Ann
covered and got the pin.
That made it Deborah Ann and Female Fury against AbbyManiac. Seeing
her partner pinned, Abby ran back from the concession stand and
attacked the two. Abby threw Female Fury out of the ring, then
thumbed Deborah Ann in the throat. Abby whipped Deborah Ann
off the ropes and back body dropped her, then dropped a leg on her.
Female Fury made the save. Abby turned around and chopped Female
Fury, then turned back to Deborah Ann. Deborah Ann tried a small
package, but couldn't get Abby to roll forward. Female Fury gave
Abby a kick from behind, and that made her roll forward into a
pinning position. Deborah Ann got the pin, and she and Female Fury
survived.
Martin: "An interesting match, and Falkner's team scores the first
victory of the series!"
Malone: "And now, one of my personal favorites, Corporal Crush, tears
a strip off of one of the OWCH's greatest annoyances, Terry
Thompson!"
(Terry Thompson is sitting alone in a dark room with a rain sounds machine
focussing him for the match ahead.)
[Thompson]
Cpl. Crush, sorry to hear about your problems... We know how that goes too,
don't we?
(chuckles)
Well, I know you're coming at me hard. You know I'm pretty good at what I do,
and you also know that you gotta come to me, brother. Do you know how to stop
a THUNDERSTORM, Crush??
I don't think so...
'Thunderstorm' Terry Thompson (OWCH) vs. Crp. Crush (UeWF)
Crush came out first, with the C-in-C; he got a lot of boos from the
crowd. Then thunderstorm sound effects started up, and the crowd went
wild as Thompson charged down to ringside. Thompson overpowered Crush
early on, slamming him several times and getting a two-count after a
power slam. Crush rolled out of the ring to consult with the C-in-C,
and when he came back in he immediately raked Thompson's eyes and then
went to work on one arm. This went on for nearly ten minutes before the
crowd got behind Thompson, and he powered out of a Fujiwara armbar.
He picked Crush up to powerslam him, but his arm gave out! Crush went
back to work on the arm, finally going for a chicken wing-powerslam for
the pin, but the crowd chanted 'THUN-DER-STORM' and Thompson kicked out.
Thompson landed a series of clotheslines, then hit with a shoulderblock
that sent both men over the top rope. The C-in-C tried to help his man,
but Thompson got up first and clotheslined Crush into the railing, then
rolled back into the ring. Despite the C-in-C's efforts, Corporal Crush
couldn't beat the ten count.
Martin: "Up next, the newly crowned OWCH Light Heavyweight champ
takes on P.L. Punisher. Let's hear from the champ..."
(Starfire, wearing the OWCH gold, talks to the fans just at the door to the
entrance.)
[Starfire]
The challenge continues. We are strong. So are they. We will be stronger, as
we will continue to prove when I get out there and face you, P.L. Punisher.
I saw some of the Unknown Soldier matches, and, believe me, I know how to beat
you at your own game, if need be. But I plan to show the fans again that a lot
of guts and a lot of ability are the hallmarks of FWE.
Starfire (OWCH) vs. P.L. Punisher
P.L. Punisher and the C-in-C entered first and were booed. Starfire
and Mike Falkner entered to "The Final Countdown" by Europe and were
cheered. The C-in-C brought Loki to the ring with him for this match,
and throughout the match taunted Falkner about what Loki would do to
him in their match later in the challenge. Starfire started fast,
armdragging Punisher across the ring and giving him several varieties
of suplexes. Punisher made a comeback, pushing Starfire to the ropes,
then sneaking in a sucker punch while the referee separated them.
Punisher dragged Starfire to the corner and sent him face-first into
the top turnbuckle over and over again. Starfire ducked out of the
corner and hiptossed Punisher into the middle of the ring, then
went to the top rope and connected with a cross body block.
P.L. Punisher kicked out, but Starfire went back to the top rope,
and connected with a flying dropkick. Punisher stayed down, and
Starfire got the pin.
Martin: "And now, Power Force against Doom!"
[Power Force]
Doom, meet your doom. Welcome to reality. The reality that I can
take you down and beat you at any time. The job can and will be done
by me, one of the members of the elite force in all of e-wrestling,
Falkner Wrestling Enterprises.
Power Force (UeWF) vs. Doom (UeWF)
The C-in-C argued with the referee before the match could even start,
complaining that he saw Power Force hiding an international object.
The fans booed as the argument dragged on. Power Force, eager to get
the match started, walked over and shoved the C-in-C. The C-in-C
retaliated by having Doom jump on Power Force from behind. Doom and
Power Force started brawling, and the referee turned to the timekeeper
and signalled for the bell to ring and the match to start. While
his back was turned, the C-in-C tossed an international object to
Power Force, who wasn't sure what to do. The referee turned around
and saw him with the object, and disqualified him. Angry, Power
Force nailed Doom with the object, then left the ring.
Malone: "Power Force was right about him doing the job."
Martin: "Up next, a tag match. Let's hear from Electric Fire, winners
of the UeWF Johnson Cup a while back."
[Electric Fire Power]
WOO! What do we have here? A little Double Trouble??
[Energy]
YEP! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!! WE GOT OUR GAME FACES ON AND WE ARE
READY TO ROCK AND ROLL!! WE GOT THE SAME ATTITUDE THAT WE HAD WHEN WE
WON THE JOHNSON CUP, AND WE WON'T BE STOPPED UNTIL WE WIN IT ALL!!
Electric Fire (UeWF) vs. Double Trouble
The Commander-in-Chief ordered Double Trouble to attack before the
bell, but Power and Energy were ready for them and fought back.
Power and Energy scored simultaneous small packages, and the
match was over very quickly.
Malone: "That didn't take long. And now the C-in-C is going to
have to start using that brilliant military mind of his,
his team is not doing well."
Steve Powers (UeWF) vs. Zangief The Terrible (UeWF)
Zangief was booed. He gave the fans the finger as he got in the ring.
Steve Powers, from Denver, entered next, to "Stand Your Ground" by
Debbie Gibson. Zangief attacked before the bell, hammering Powers,
then scooping him up and slamming him. Powers recovered, then bounced
off the ropes and shoulderblocked Zangief. Zangief got up and
challenged Powers to a test of strength. Powers accepted, and the big
335 pounder began forcing Zangief down. Zangief kicked Powers to
break out, then whipped him off the ropes and clotheslined him.
Powers kicked out of a sloppy pin attempt and tried to put Zangief
away with a full nelson, but Zangief fought his way to the ropes.
Powers released Zangief, then was about to pick him up for another
move, but Zangief gave him a headbutt to the midsection. Zangief
whipped Powers off the ropes and powerslammed him, and held him down
for the three count.
Martin: "There will be more matches at the next day of Interfed
matches, for now things are looking good for Falkner's side."
Malone: "Sure, but the matches in the next batch are where the big
money is, the C-in-C will bring out his big guns for those."
Martin: "We've received word that American Eagle will be able to wrestle,
despite his injury at the hands of the Cochons."
Malone: "He's got more guts than brains - then again, that's probably not
saying much."
Martin: "A lot of stipulations for this match - it's a Texas Death match,
meaning that pins and submissions don't matter. When one man goes down,
he's got a ten count to get back up and resume the match or he loses.
The loser will lose his hair, and Lady Liberty and Luna Cochon will be
suspended above the ring in separate cages. Finally, Sir Walter Raleigh
is barred from ringside."
Malone: "It probably took longer to read the contract than it will to
fight the match, Jimbo. But I see the cage is set up and Liberty and
Cochon are being secured in their cages; we're ready to get this one
underway!"
American Eagle (UeWF) vs. Gilles Saumon (UeWF) - Texas Death/Hair vs.
Hair Steel Cage Match, Lady Liberty and Luna Cochon in cages suspended
above the ring, Sir Walter Raleigh barred from ringside
Gilles Saumon made his way down the ring, looking somewhat
uncomfortable that he didn't have his manager and valet with
him this time. The big man got in the cage and flexed, as
"I Want It All" by Queen played. He was booed. American Eagle
entered next, and was cheered. "Golden Boy" Steve Angel escorted
him to the ring, watching out for any surprises from the Cochons.
Eagle got in the ring, but not looking 100%. Angel checked
under the ring to make sure that nobody was hiding underneath,
then returned to the locker room.
Eagle and Saumon circled, and Eagle got the fans chanting "whale
on the beach", which ticked Saumon off. Saumon and Eagle locked up,
and Saumon shoved Eagle back against the cage. Saumon threw a
punch, but Eagle ducked and Saumon punched the cage, hurting his
hand. Eagle twisted Saumon's arm, then elbowed it. American
Eagle then went to a nerve hold, but Saumon grimaced and got out of it.
Eagle kicked Saumon in the midsection, then tried a suplex, but
Saumon grabbed the cage and blocked the move. Gilles Saumon elbowed
American Eagle in the midsection, doubling him over, then hit him
with clubbing blows to the back of the neck. The former UeWF
World Champ whipped Eagle off the ropes and put him in a bear hug.
Eagle got out by boxing Saumon's ears. American Eagle got the
crowd clapping with him, then punched Saumon and threw him against
the cage. Saumon bounced back and ran over Eagle with a
shoulderblock, then picked him up and piledrove him. Saumon
went for a pin, but the referee reminded him that this was a Texas
Death match and pins do not count. Saumon backed off, and Eagle got up
by the count of four. Saumon ran Eagle into the cage, then grinded his
face against the cage. Eagle was bleeding from the head, but he got loose by
getting into position and giving Saumon a Russian leg sweep.
American Eagle waited for Saumon to get up and then gave him a back
brain kick, then went to the second rope and dropped a fist on him. Eagle
stomped on Saumon's forehead several times, then tried putting the Eagle
Claw on him, but his hand was too badly hurt from the pre-match attack for
him to keep the hold on Saumon. Gilles got up and kicked Eagle, then
gave him a rolling neckbreaker. Saumon pressed Eagle over his
head, and threw him against the cage. Eagle stayed down, and the
referee put a count on him, but Eagle got up by the count of six.
Saumon slammed the Eagle, then, thinking he had plenty of time
before the Eagle got up, climbed to the top rope. American Eagle
sprung back up and shook the ropes, and Saumon landed crotch-first
on the top rope. Eagle superplexed him into the ring, then
climbed to the top rope and dropped an elbow on him. Saumon got
up by the count of three, but Eagle put him back down with a DDT.
With the fans cheering him on, American Eagle climbed all the way to
the top of the cage and dropped a knee on Gilles Saumon. Eagle
retreated to a corner, and it took the Lac St-Jean Strong Man
until the count of eight to get up. Eagle came back and tried
the Eagle Claw with his left hand, but didn't have the expertise to
put Saumon away with it. Gilles Saumon raked Eagle's face, then
ran him into the cage. Gilles looked up, and Luna Cochon dropped
a pair of brass knuckles down to him.
Saumon nailed Eagle with the brass knuckles, then climbed on top of
him and hit him again and again. The referee confiscated the
brass knuckles, then put a count on Eagle. Just before the referee
could get to ten, Eagle was back on his feet. Saumon stalked the
Eagle, then put the Neck Stretcher on him and swung him around.
Saumon held the hold on Eagle well after he was out, then dropped him.
Once again Eagle just barely got up in time. Gilles Saumon
closed in, but Eagle gave him a knee to the midsection and then
DDT'd him. Both men were down, and the referee started counting.
Eagle was up at five, and Saumon was up at seven. Eagle karate kicked
Saumon, then went to the top rope and clotheslined him. Eagle grabbed
Saumon by the head and decided to run him into the cage. Saumon
countered by grabbing Eagle's head too, and they both ran into the
cage and fell down. The referee put a count on them. The crowd
was cheering for Eagle to get back up. At the count of eight, they
were both still down. At nine, Saumon was starting to get up. At
the count of ten, Saumon was up while Eagle was still down, and
Gilles "The Fish" Saumon was declared the winner.
After the match, Sir Walter Raleigh came to the ring and helped Saumon
up. Luna Cochon and Lady Liberty were let down from their cages, and
they both ran over to check on their men. Lady Liberty complained
about Saumon using the brass knuckles, but the referee said there
was nothing he could do. Saumon was too badly hurt to do it, so
Luna Cochon cut American Eagle's hair, laughing all the while.
They left the ring, throwing his hair into the crowd as they walked
down the aisle.
Martin: "That was a brutal match, I hope they both go see a doctor
soon."
Malone: "Saumon wins it, even without Raleigh or Luna Cochon."
Martin: "Next up is something e-wrestling needs more of, a 'Pure Science'
match between Mike Falkner and 'Devastator' Derek Machismo. The first
rule infraction - of any kind - results in the other man winning the
match, and if Machismo wins he gets a shot at the MBWF title held by
Electric Youth!"
Malone: "That's if the MBWF makes it out of their New Year's party without
someone putting a bomb in the champagne bottle or something. I think
this sort of match is an aberration that should never happen again - I
mean, a guy can get DQed for a closed fist!"
Martin: "Which means they'll have to concentrate on real scientific
wrestling..."
Malone: "Not exactly the strong point of either guy, Jimbo. And what sort
of example does this set for our kids? I'm appalled."
Mike Falkner (OWCH) vs. 'Devastator' Derek Machismo (MBWF) in a Pure
Science match - first rule infraction results in loss. If Machismo
wins, he gets a shot at Electric Youth's MBWF Title at some later
date
"Devastator" Derek from Philadelphia entered first, along with his
manager Jenna Stavros to "Missionary Man" by the Eurythmics. They
were cheered. Mike Falkner entered next, to "Tear Down These Walls"
by Debbie Gibson; he too was cheered. The referee checked with both
wrestlers to make sure they understood the rules of the match. A
second referee was present outside the ring, to catch any cheating
the first referee might miss. Machismo and Falkner shook hands, and
the match got started. Falkner put Machismo into a headlock. Derek
pushed his head up through the hold so that Falkner's arm was around
his neck, but Falkner broke the hold rather than commit a choke. They
locked up again, and Derek powered Falkner back to a corner. The
referee called for a break, and they both broke cleanly. Falkner
slapped Derek in the face, but Derek didn't lose control. He whipped
Falkner to the far corner, then charged in, but Falkner got a foot
up and dazed Derek. Mike Falkner bulldogged Derek, then covered, but
only got a one count. Falkner tried a roll-up, but Derek Machismo
kicked out again. Derek scooped Falkner up and slammed him, then
bounced off the ropes and went for an elbow drop, but Falkner
rolled away. Falkner suplexed Derek, then put a hammerlock on him.
Derek reversed it, but Falkner got to the ropes and Derek broke the
hold.
While Falkner was by the ropes, Jenna Stavros tried to sneak something
into his trunks so he would be caught in possession of an
international object, but Falkner caught her. While Falkner was
shouting at her, Derek snuck up behind him and gave him an
atomic drop. Derek decided to go to the top rope, a surpising move
considering his size, and tried a splash, but Falkner got his
knees up. Falkner was in control again, and he whipped Derek off
the ropes and power slammed him. Falkner tried a pin, but Derek
got out. Mike Falkner put an armbar on Derek, but Derek powered
back to his feet, then forced Falkner back to the ropes. After
a clean break, Falkner hit Derek with open handed chops, then shoved
him into the corner.
Falkner hoisted Derek onto the top buckle, then superplexed him into
the center of the ring. Falkner dropped a leg, then covered, but
Derek kicked out at two. Mike Falkner pulled Derek up and hit him
with knife edge chops, knocking him back down. Falkner picked
Derek up again and went for a slam, but Derek kicked off the
turnbuckles and fell on him. Derek tried to get a pin, but Falkner
kicked out easily. Derek whipped Falkner off the ropes and
clotheslined him. Then he picked Falkner up and slammed him.
Jenna Stavros reminded Derek not to break any rules. Derek
picked Falkner up and whipped him off the ropes, into a
spinebuster. But once again Falkner kicked out. Falkner claimed
that Derek had held his trunks, but the second referee said that
wasn't true. Derek lifted Falkner up and powerbombed him. Thinking he
had the victory, Derek used a lazy cover and Falkner got out before
the three count.
Derek Machismo picked Falkner up and gorilla pressed him, then slammed
him halfway across the ring. This time Derek hooked a leg when
he covered, but again Falkner kicked out. Derek tried the
power bomb again, but Falkner flipped over his back, then pushed
him into the ropes and rolled him up. Derek kicked out, then
clotheslined Falkner. Derek was getting frustrated, and he
went for a pin again, being very careful to hook the leg. Falkner
kicked out just before the three, and Derek complained to the
referee that the count was too slow. That gave Mike Falkner
a chance to clear his head, and he got a sleeper on Derek.
Derek backed into a corner to get Falkner off his back, then
threw him down and axehandled him from the top rope. Derek
went for a pin, but Falkner showed amazing resilience by kicking
out once again. Derek was not happy. He stomped on Falkner, then
whipped him off the ropes for a back body drop, but Falkner countered
with a sunset flip. Derek waved his arms around to keep his balance,
then bent over and went for a punch. Falkner rolled out of the way
and Derek missed the punch. This kept Derek from being disqualified
for punching, but made him mad. He grabbed Falkner and whipped him off
the ropes and tried a power slam, but Falkner turned it into a small
package and held Derek down for the three count!
Derek was irate. Falkner got up and offered a handshake, for a well
fought, clean match. Derek slugged him. The crowd gasped as Derek
Machismo suddenly went berzerk, kicking and stomping Mike Falkner.
Derek tossed him out of the ring, and slammed him against the barrier.
Falkner was bleeding from the head, but Derek was relentless, running
him into the ring post, then bulldogging him on the stairs. The
Protector, Falkner's bodyguard, ran down to the ring along with
most of Falkner's stable. They pulled Derek off their manager while
a doctor ran down to the ring area. Derek's brother Duane and his
tag partner Shane ran to the ring. They argued with Falkner's men,
then escorted Derek away, and he was booed by the fans as he left.
Martin: "Who would've thought Derek Machismo would do something
like that. I hope Mike Falkner's OK."
Malone: "Derek lost the match, so he doesn't get a shot at Electric
Youth. But I don't think Youth's gonna take this attack on his
manager lying down."
Martin: "They're setting up the ring for our next match, and an odd one
it is."
Malone: "You can say that again. Back at Autumn Onslaught, the Gladiators
beat the Gangstaz at their own game; now, they're wrestling in a match
that probably favors the Gladiators. But what I wanna know is, who let
all of these single-federation matches onto the Inter-Federation card?"
Martin: "Obviously, Tony, these were the matches the people wanted to
see."
Malone: "Yeah, right. More likely, they put Jack Tummy in charge of something
important, which means they ignored all those letters I wrote them."
Martin: "May I remind you that Mr. Tummy signs your paycheque? Anyhow, let's
just go over the rules for this 'Gladiator Joust Match': Four scaffolds
will be set up around the ring, one for each wrestler. Team members will
start on opposite scaffolds, and there will be a gap between adjacent
scaffolds. At either end of each scaffold will be a circular platform.
All combatants will be armed with pugil sticks, and the only way to
win is by knocking both opponents off of the scaffolds. I see everything's
set up, so let's see the action!"
The Setup:
_____ _____
| | | | The Gladiators start on platforms 1 and 4,
| 1 | | 2 | the Gangstaz start on platforms 2 and 3.
| | | | "O" represents an empty platform.
| O | | O |
_____ _____ Each platform is about four feet above the
scaffold, each scaffold is about ten feet
_____ _____ above the floor.
| | | |
| O | | O |
| | | |
| 3 | | 4 |
_____ _____
Gladiators (UeWF) vs. Original Gangstaz (UeWF) in a Gladiator Joust Match
The Original Gangstaz, Scott E. Fresh and "Ice" Trey entered to
"You Gonna Get Yours" by Public Enemy. They were wearing Raiders
jackets, White Sox hats titlted to the sides, and gold chains.
They were booed loudly. They got up on the platforms on diagonal
scaffolds, but didn't take the pugil sticks. Instead, Fresh pulled
out a lead pipe, and Trey had nunchakus hidden in his jacket. Cobra
and Thunder, the Gladiators, entered next and received a few cheers,
mostly because they were up against the Gangstaz. They
had on American Gladiators style tights with their names on them.
They grabbed their pugil sticks and the match got started.
The first few minutes of the match consisted of the wrestlers jumping
from one platform to another, trying to outposition members of the
other team. Scott E. Fresh and Thunder started swinging at each
other on one scaffold, while Trey was chasing Cobra on the other
scaffolds. Cobra jumped back to the next platform, and when Trey
moved forward, before he could regain his balance, Cobra hit him
solidly with his pugil stick. Meanwhile, Thunder knocked Fresh
off his platform. Trey tried getting back up on the nearest platform,
but Cobra jumped onto it and kicked him in the head, knocking Trey
off the scaffold. Fresh pulled Thunder off the platform he was
standing on down onto the scaffold, then hit him with his lead pipe.
Fresh started working on Thunder's bad knee, hitting it repeatedly
with the pipe. Cobra jumped down from his platform, then made his
way to the scaffold where his partner was. Cobra hit Fresh in
the head with his pugil stick, then Thunder got up and joined in.
Thunder gave Fresh a knee to the back with his loaded knee brace,
and Cobra got a solid shot in on Fresh's face, leaving him with
a bloody nose.
"Ice" Trey climbed up a ladder and got back on a scaffold. He
jumped over to the scaffold where the fight was, then nailed Thunder
in the back with his nunchakus. Trey hooked the nunchakus around
Cobra's neck and started choking him out. Fresh put a figure four on
Thunder, to work on his knee some more. Cobra leaned over and raked
Fresh's face to make him break the hold, then Thunder sat up and
raked Trey's face, so that Cobra could get out. Cobra reached for
his pugil stick, but Trey kicked it off the scaffold. Cobra
gave Trey a headbutt to the midsection, almost knocking Trey off the
scaffold again. Trey jumped to the next scaffold. Meanwhile, Thunder
punched Fresh, who climbed onto a platform. Cobra climbed onto the
same platform and tried to throw Fresh off. The two pushed and
shoved, then both fell off the platform. They stayed on the scaffold,
though, and Thunder came over and rolled Scott E. Fresh off and down
to the floor. But with his injured knee, he couldn't keep his balance
and Thunder fell off too. Fresh and Thunder were both down on the
floor, and neither was getting up. That left Cobra and Trey still
on the scaffolds. Cobra jumped to the next scaffold and grabbed a
pugil stick. Trey came over to get him, but Cobra used the pugil
stick to knock Trey's nunchakus away. Trey tackled Cobra before he
could use the pugil stick again, and the two rolled across the
scaffold punching each other.
Thunder got up and was headed for a ladder, but Fresh got up too and
hammered him in the back. Fresh tried to climb the ladder, but
Thunder grabbed him by the foot and pulled him back down. Cobra
almost fell off the scaffold, but grabbed onto the base of the
nearest platform. Unfortunately for him, "Ice" Trey was right next
to him and kicked his fingers until he let go. Cobra fell down to
the floor, and with both Gladiators on the floor, the Gangstaz got the
win. After the match, "Ice" Trey climbed down the ladder and
the Gangstaz kicked Thunder's knee. Then the police showed up, and
put Trey under arrest. The officer read him his rights and explained
that the crime was vandalism. Thunder and Cobra were heard muttering
that it took the officer long enough to get there. After the police
dragged Trey off, Cobra and Thunder grabbed their pugil sticks and
chased Fresh back to the dressing room.
Martin: "The TWiW Title is up for grabs next, Tony! Admiral Ax has held the
title for as long as I can remember, but he'll face a stiff challenge
from Death Croc!"
Malone: "Admiral Ax is going to be very busy over the course of the Summit,
Jimbo. He's defending this title, he'll be going for the Slick Ric trophy,
he's also in the Freebird/Von Erich cup. And he's got to take some time
out at the next day of Interfed events to beat up Mike Falkner's prima
donna from the MBWF. It'll take a truly legendary wrestler to win all of
those, but the Admiral is a true legend!"
Martin: "Death Croc just had a long title reign ended in the MBWF, so I'm
sure he'll be hungry for more gold. I think we just might see an upset
here... let's go to the ring!"
Admiral Ax (UeWF) vs. Death Croc (MBWF) for the TWiW Title
Death Croc was introduced first, and started down the aisle, but only got
about halfway there when three guys in camouflage outfits and masks charged
down after him. One dived at his legs, clipping him from behind; the other
two grabbed chairs and beat on Death Croc. They then double-DDTed him on the
concrete!
Admiral Ax started down to ringside, to large, huge boos from the fans.
The three Unknown Soldiers stood at attention as Ax marched up, and he
picked up the basically unconcious Death Croc and carried him to the ring.
At ringside, a kid in a wheelchair wearing a battered RCMP stetson squirted
Ax with mustard and gave him the finger, but Ax ignored the abuse and
tossed Death Croc into the ring. Ax climbed in after him, but the ref (one
of the ESW crew) got in his way. Ax and the ref started to argue, with Ax
shoving the ref at one point.
Meanwhile, though, Death Croc had time to recover. When Ax finally turned
around to start the match, Death Croc raked his eyes and then slammed him
head-first into the buckles. Croc quickly schoolboyed Ax, and Ax only barely
kicked out. Croc slammed Ax, then whipped him to the ropes and back body
dropped him, and covered for another two-count. Croc put Ax on the top
turnbuckle and set up for a superplex, and the crowd went wild; Croc seemed
surprised and hesitated, looking around suspiciously. This gave Ax a chance
to push forward, sending both men to the mat with Croc underneath. The
Admiral got up quickly and suplexed Death Croc, then went to the second
rope and dropped a leg. Ax covered for one, but yanked Death Croc's shoulder
up and yelled at the ref for no particular reason. Ax ran Croc headfirst
into the turnbuckles, then took him to the mat with a belly-to-back suplex.
Croc seemed out of it, and Ax pressed him and tossed him over the top rope,
then turned around and made a gesture as if cleaning his hands.
The ref went over to make the count, but seemed surprised when he looked
outside the ring; Ax went over to check, and Death Croc rolled out from under
the other side of the ring. He jumped into the ring and charged Ax from
behind, nailing Ax with a big forearm that sent the Admiral over the ropes.
Croc jumped out after him, and ran the Admiral's face along the steel
railing. He then suplexed Ax on the concrete, then went over to the
timekeeper's table and grabbed the TWiW belt. He held it up high, and the
fans went crazy. But Ax wasn't out of it yet; he nailed Croc with a forearm
to the small of the back, then slammed Croc face first into the table. Ax
grabbed Croc again and went to slam him on the railing, but Croc blocked
and the kid in the wheelchair squirted Ax with mustard, right in the eyes!
Ax reeled back, and Croc charged to hit with a shoulder in the gut, then
powerbombed Ax and tossed him back in the ring.
Death Croc grabbed the TWiW belt and rolled into the ring, then put it on
the mat and picked up Ax in a piledriver position. The ref objected, and
Death Croc dropped Ax to argue with the ref. Meanwhile, the Commander-in-
Chief made his way to ringside. Croc turned back to Ax, and the C-in-C
threw a fireball at him! Ax rolled up the stunned Death Croc, and got the
three count. Admiral Ax retains the TWiW Title, but he had to be helped
from the ring by the C-in-C, apparently with an injured back.
Malone: "Now THAT'S wrestling!"
Martin: "I think I counted five legal moves there, Tony. Obviously, the
Armed Forces will sink to any level to win a match!"
Malone: "That's called 'resourcefulness', Jimbo. Only one match left
tonight, and it's the big finale of the interfed Survivor Series
tournament! Let's get to it!"
ESW Survivors: 'Irish Whip' Rick O'Malley, Thunderbomb Peterson,
600 Pound Gorilla
vs.
UeWF Survivors: 'Juggernaut' Mike Titan, Magnus Bane
O'Malley and Titan started off; Titan was tentative, knowing that his
team was outnumbered. Titan had the power advantage, and forced O'Malley
back into a neutral corner, then set up to whip him to the opposite
corner. But the Irish Whip reversed the move and sent Titan to the corner,
then avalanched him. O'Malley tagged to Peterson, who slammed Titan and
covered for one. Titan chopped Peterson, then suplexed him to the UeWF
corner. Titan tagged to Bane, and the UeWF Atlantic and Pacific champions
double suplexed Peterson. Peterson rolled to the corner and tagged to the
600 Pound Gorilla. Bane and the Gorilla locked up, and the Gorilla easily
scooped Bane up and slammed him. Gorilla whipped Bane to the ropes, but
Bane tagged to Titan on the way and ducked under a Gorilla clothesline.
Gorilla didn't realize there had been a tag, and Titan leapt off the top
rope to hit with flying axehandles from behind. The UeWFers double-DDTed
the Gorilla, and Titan covered for two. Titan showed a lot of power by
taking Gorilla over with a fireman's carry takedown, and then a powerbomb
on the former ESW World champ. Titan covered, and just barely got the
three count.
Peterson came in for the ESW, and Titan tagged to Bane. Bane and Peterson
locked up, and Bane came up with an arm bar. Bane quickly tagged to Titan,
who dropped an elbow on Peterson's arm. Titan whipped Peterson to the
ropes, but Peterson came back with a cross-body block and covered for two.
Peterson tagged to O'Malley, who belly-to-belly suplexed Titan and then
hit with a spinebuster. O'Malley signalled for the Banshee deathlock, but
Bane ran in and hit him with a big elbow for the save. Peterson also charged
in and attacked Titan. Titan back body-dropped Peterson, then dropped a leg
from the second rope, then charged O'Malley. As the ref tried to regain
control, Magnus Bane choked Peterson with the tag rope and then piledrove
him near the corner. Finally, the ref got O'Malley and Titan back to their
corners and turned around
to see Bane covering Peterson; the ref made the three count, and Peterson
was eliminated.
That made it two on one in favour of the UeWF team, but O'Malley charged
in and elbowed Bane, then hit with a gutwrench suplex and a fallaway
slam. O'Malley covered, but only got one. O'Malley irish whipped Bane to
the ropes, but Bane tagged to Titan on the way. O'Malley saw the tag and
sidestepped Bane, then clotheslined Titan before he was fully in the ring.
O'Malley hit Titan with a spinebuster, then locked in the Banshee Deathlock;
the ref kept Bane back, and Titan was eliminated.
And so it came down to Magnus Bane and Rick O'Malley. Bane was slightly
fresher, and was able to slam O'Malley and then cover for one. Bane started
to work on one leg with a spinning toehold, then dropped an elbow to the
leg. O'Malley tried to fight his way to the ropes, but Bane dragged him
back and hit with an atomic kneebreaker. Bane set up for the figure four,
but O'Malley small-packaged him as he executed it, and a surprised Bane
couldn't kick out in time.
Martin: "And so 'Irish Whip' Rick O'Malley is the sole survivor of the
interfed Survivor Series tournament, meaning the ESW wins! That's got
to be a bit of an upset, Tony."
Malone: "What impresses me is that he did it without team captain Barry
Bromowitz!"
Martin: "That's all the inter-federation action for today; goodbye all,
and we'll see you all at interfed day 2!"
[Cut back to the Control Center.]
Dry: WOW! What a wild night of action we just witnessed!
DiCraig: Incredible -- Rick O'Malley stood out in a crowd of the best
E-wrestling had to offer, Gilles Saumon finally extracted his revenge on
The American Eagle, and Mike Falkner's group seems to be well ahead of the
pack in his special challenge.
Dry: We have another day's worth of action coming up tomorrow, fans, so be
sure to tune in again. Among the matches on the card are The Superstar
Express and their two mystery partners against The Forces Of Destruction
and The Nice Guys; The Firewalkers defend those coveted ECWA World titles
against former champions Grid Iron, O'Malley tries to go for another ESW
title reign against Dr. Feelgood, and more of the FWE/Armed Forces
challenge!
DiCraig: That's all for us. Good night, all.
[Fade out.]
(
geocities.com/Colosseum/Arena) (
geocities.com/Colosseum)