"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy." -Benjamin Franklin "It is a fair wind that blew men to the ale." -Washington Irving "I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety." -William Shakespeare "Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world." Kaiser Wilhelm II "What event is more awfully important to an English colony than the erection of its first brewhouse?" -Reverend Sydney Smith "The church is near but the road is icy. The bar is far away but I will walk carefully." -Russian Proverb "But if at church they would give us some ale And a pleasant fire our souls to regale We'd sing and pray All the live-long day Nor ever once from the church to stray" -William Blake "Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how the day advances I am drinking ale today." -Edgar Allan Poe "Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." -Ambrose Bierce "The man who called it 'near beer' was a bad judge of distance." -Luke McLuke "Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!" -Homer Simpson "I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion." -Miguel de Cervantes "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." -Winston Churchill "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." -Oscar Wilde "you can't have a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline-it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER." -Frank Zappa