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An independent organization sponsored by the St. George Utah Snow Canyon Stake and affiliated with Evergreen International having resources and information for those who experience attractions towards members of their same sex, for their family members and friends, Church leaders, and all people who offer support to individuals who desire to make changes in their lives in line with Gospel principles

• Evergreen of Dixie is founded on the belief that the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for every soul to eliminate all of the sins and conditions that hinder the achievement of his potential and his temporal and eternal happiness.
• We affirm that every person can overcome homosexual behavior and diminish same-sex attraction and are committed to help people who desire to achieve this.
• We sustain the doctrine and the standards of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints without reservation or exception, but we are not affiliated directly with the Church. Many general and local Church authorities support the efforts of Evergreen International for helping affected people with their desire to achieve all of the eternal blessings that God offers us. In this area, the Utah South Area Presidency offers us encouragement and support and the Snow Canyon Stake sponsors our efforts.

To Church leaders and others who desire to support an affected person (known as a "struggler")…

If you wish to receive support in your efforts to help people with homosexual challenges, feel free to contact us, and we will gladly do everything we can to help.

Although Church leaders can't be experts in every problem that God's children can experience in life, it helps a great deal when they read the basic literature about homosexuality and its Gospel-centered solutions and when they comprehend a bit more about the complex of challenges that result in homosexual feelings and about the application of the specific solutions that are based on Gospel principles.

People with these challenges are often very sensitive and need lots of understanding, unfailing attention, and pure love. They easily fall to feelings of rejection or abandonment.

The affected people (and all members of the Church) need to understand that homosexual feelings are not a reason to feel shame, but rather they are one problem among many that we human beings face in this life. They need to know that they can indeed talk about this and that there is specialized help available.

It is important to let everyone know that help — including local help — is available for members of the Church who face these challenges.

When communicating with bishops, we need to find out who the people are who are looking for support in overcoming these problems, and we need to give each one of them the opportunity to take advantage of the helps that now exist.

To those struggling with same-sex attraction who want to overcome it and live the Gospel more fully…

If you would like to talk things out or receive support in your efforts in overcoming these challenges, feel free to contact us, and we will gladly try to help. You may consider participating in our men's support group that meets in St. George. We also envision support groups for women, youth, and family & friends here and in surrounding areas. We understand where you're coming from!

You need a daily personal program of prayer and study of the principles of salvation and recovery, and you need to be applying these principles in your life.

It is very important that you read the literature that is available (books and websites) for the purpose of analyzing your life and learning what you need to do to really fulfill the genuine needs in your life that are the base of your attractions.

It is highly recommended that you participate actively in local and online support groups. We can help you in our group or can help you to found the kind of group you need close to home. Church leaders in our area are very willing to support us.

If you have had a lot of experience with homosexual activity or if you have developed sexual addictions, it is almost always important that you seek an appropriately supportive therapist to help you with your personal plan.

Available Resources

INFORMATION FOR CHURCH LEADERS REGARDING SUPPORT
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE FACING THE CHALLENGES OF
SAME-SEX ATTRACTION

by Steve (EGDixie@yahoo.com)

Thank you for this opportunity to talk with you about a subject that is so important. Your attention demonstrates your dedication to your calling and the love for the people that you are guiding spiritually. Evergreen International and its volunteers and affiliate groups will always try to support you in your efforts to encourage and help people with same-sex attractions who want to live in accordance with Gospel principles and receive all of the blessings the Lord has prepared for them. I also wish to express my sincere appreciation for the General Authorities who have supported Evergreen International over the years and for our area authorities and our sponsoring stake president who have supported Evergreen of Dixie and made this conference possible.

Of course, the leaders of the Church can't be specialists in every one of the problems that can affect the spirituality and the eternal blessings of the Lord's sheep; because of this, we want to help every way we can in this situation. Nevertheless, the more Church leaders understand the basics of these issues, the more they will be able to help to save the souls who find themselves confused or hopeless.

The things discussed here are things that should really be known by bishops, teachers, the leaders of the Relief Society and of our youth, and really every member of the Church. Homosexuality is a subject that is only understood with some difficulty by those of us who face these issues in our lives, and the rest of the membership of the Church can hardly be expected to understand it any better. For this reason, there are many misunderstanding and prejudices that come up among well-intentioned Church members, and this makes for a climate in which the people facing these challenges (whom we call "strugglers") can't openly seek the support and the help they need, support that is vital for their spiritual and sometimes physical survival. Because of this, I hope that you will share the knowledge gained here in appropriate ways with every member of the Church whom you are guiding.

THOSE WHO SUFFER

Why is it important to work on the solutions to the various problems related to homosexuality that exist among members of the Church? Well, mainly because we have brothers and sisters who are suffering, who don't know exactly how the principles of the Gospel can help them to resolve the dilemmas found in what they sense as something natural, and who are going to be lost eternally if they don't find the solutions they need.

And this complex of challenges doesn't only directly affect several members of pretty much every ward in the Church, but also their family members and friends. If someone reading this is unaware of many cases in your stakes, it is not that they don't exist. It is that they just don't feel that it is possible to speak openly about this challenge — that is really just one challenge among many that Latter-day Saints face in their lives — and sometimes they don't even discuss it with their loved ones, because they don't want them to worry or to think that they were the cause of these problems. And of course, many also fear the results of a confession of serious sins before the authorities of the Church (although I should also make clear that not every person with same-sex attraction has committed serious sins that need such confession).

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES

Let me mention a few examples from real life. When I was living in Mexico City and active in the gay scene there, I met an LDS brother in a gay club who was struggling with his sexuality issues. He had a testimony of the Gospel and wanted to live righteously, but it was very difficult for him to escape the bad habits that he had developed. We both wanted to encourage and support each other in our efforts toward repentance, but it was hard. I continued falling to temptations, and so did this friend. For many years now, I have had no contact with him, and unfortunately, I don't know how he is doing.

I recall, also, a bishop I knew of who had two sons who were both having homosexual problems in their lives, and as far as I know, this former bishop doesn't know to this day about his son's trials. As we all know, sometimes the leaders in the Church have to spend a lot of their lives in service, and their wives often feel like widows and their children like orphans. Well, one of the most common causes of homosexual feelings is the lack of a healthy emotional connection with one's father. (This is often true for both boys and girls.) Fathers, although you have many responsibilities with your jobs and your callings, you know that the personal relationship that you have with God and with your family members is the most important thing there is. Please, do everything possible to share quality time with your sons and your daughters.

I know other brothers and sisters who are sincerely and desperately seeking support, and sometimes their priesthood leaders have not known how to guide them or where to send them for additional support. For example, there is the case of the young man, recently returned from his faithful mission service, who has always sensed something different but who has always tried to live the principles of the Gospel he loved so much. But now he has to face the truth that he is attracted to other men. It doesn't take long before he is falling to the sensual temptations of the worldly philosophies, and he begins to wonder whether he can really achieve the blessings of marriage and family. He feels very opposing feelings inside of him wanting to carry him in different directions, and this causes much pain and confusion.

And in our local support group, we have a number of different kinds of people, including some with strong testimonies, others with growing testimonies, some with long and sad experience in the gay world, others who are only wondering what that world offers. But when I hear the sincere expressions of these men of their desire to do what is right and to reach their divine potentials, I know that these are the kind of people whom we especially do not want to lose. They have amazing spiritual potential. And for this reason I want to encourage you to do everything possible for such people, both in the cases you already know about and in those you don't yet know about.

We are talking here about children of God (our brothers and sisters) who

• didn't ask for these feelings
• don't want them
• often don't know what to do to escape the situation.

As leaders in the Church (and as other interested parties who wish to help these people), we should help them to

• identify the truly significant issues
• work appropriately to solve them
• live the Gospel, now and always.

HOMOSEXUAL NEEDS NOT SEXUAL

Same-sex attractions are something quite difficult for many people to comprehend. At times, it can be difficult for some to show appropriate compassion, because homosexuality seems to be something so abnormal and even repulsive. But it can help to realize that homosexuality is really not an innate sexual problem, but rather a mix of normal social and emotional needs that we all have, but which have become confused and sexualized toward people of the same gender. Once these needs have been fulfilled in a healthy way, people can experience a more complete joy in their lives and can receive all of the blessings of the Gospel.

For affected people, a part of their process of normal development was interrupted somehow in childhood and interfered with their ability to develop a heterosexual orientation. Ironically, sexual intimacy cannot fill these emotional holes (although healthy intimacy can do a great deal to help). These needs should not be ignored nor should they be eroticized. Rather, they should be satisfied using legitimate non-sexual means. It is here that we see the irony of the situation: homosexuality, in its most fundamental aspects, has little to do with sex; the needs are not homosexual, but rather homoemotional.

CHANGE DOES HAPPEN

I can assure you that I know people who have resolved this condition in their lives. I wish to share a bit regarding the spiritual triumph of someone who has had a lot of success in the resolution of these problems in his life. Jason Park, a director of Evergreen International, describes his current life:

"I no longer struggle with same-sex attraction. It doesn't dominate my life. I feel peace. The problems have been resolved. I deliberately want to use the word resolved. I am not suppressing my feelings. The solution to same-sex attractions is not just to repress feelings and control behavior with willpower. The goal is to resolve the internal conflicts that create the same-sex attractions. Even if homosexual behavior can be avoided in the short term by exercising willpower, the social and emotional needs that have not been satisfied will not disappear until they are resolved in a non-sexual manner. As the underlying causes are resolved, the undesirable impulses diminish or disappear.

"Same-sex attraction is a very complex issue. I think that it is one of Satan's most clever traps designed to rob the children of God of the blessings of the priesthood, the temple, and eternal life.

"The solution to these problems is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ – but since it is a complicated problem, people usually need both professional and ecclesiastical help as well as support from fellow strugglers and family and friends."

COMPONENTS OF CHANGE

There is not sufficient space here to speak of everything that a person needs to do – and it is an individualized program for each individual – but I want to explain two basic components:

1. The elimination of homosexual behavior. It is not easy. Obsessions, compulsions, addictions. It is similar to asking an alcoholic to stop drinking. The person with attractions toward members of the same sex has emotional needs that keep increasing his desires. In my case, it dominated my life for many years. I have been a member of the Church my entire life, and I have understood the blessings of an eternal family. But I was so desperate to receive the attention of other men that I was at the point of losing every opportunity for an eternal family and every blessing in the Church of Jesus Christ.
   
   Many people who experience these homosexual challenges in their lives also have to face sexual addictions. The sooner they work effectively on overcoming their addictions, the easier their recovery will be. In my case, I recognized that I was dealing with an addiction when I was 24 years old. And even so, it has taken me nearly two decades to really resolve it. (Happily, now there are more resources and help available.) Because of that, on the website I maintain on the Internet (LDS SSA Resources), I list resources for the solutions to sexual addictions in addition to those for same-sex attraction. These resources can also help many members of the Church who don't face homosexual challenges. Addiction to Internet pornography, for example, is one of the biggest problems in the Church nowadays, according to the prophet.
   
   For me, the progress came very slowly, despite my strong testimony and my sincere desires for righteousness. Only after 20 years of struggle have I been able to live a life free from slavery to lust. And this freedom is coming to me only after much prayer, learning, and commitments I have made to seek the Saviour and His power in my life.
   
2. The reduction or elimination of homosexual desires. For me, this has begun with the developing elimination of my sexual addictions. This happens when the other aspects that sustain the unwanted desires are resolved. For example, the male struggler needs to develop a secure concept of himself and his masculinity, and he needs to develop healthy and happy relationships with other men. When these things are resolved, the desires that have been sexualized toward members of the same gender are diminished. Some people achieve a situation in which they no longer have any homosexual attractions. For others, the attractions continue, but they can deal with them easily and well, with no need for inappropriate acting out.

LEARNING ABOUT SOMEONE'S CHALLENGES

When someone comes to a priesthood leader seeking help for these problems, what can be done to help him? Well, the leader should demonstrate the love of Christ, of course. Leaders, family members, and friends need to receive this confession gracefully and not act surprised, saying "You did WHAT?" It can be somewhat difficult to hear, and perhaps you need time to process your own emotions. But today is the time to begin to understand.

Here are a few points that can make a confession into a blessing:

1. Feel grateful that the person is sharing his personal challenges with you. Tell him that you feel great joy, knowing that he now will not have to struggle alone. Let him feel some relief for having shared.
2. Show compassion to the person who has suffered so much. He needs to feel the love of the Redeemer through you.
3. Don't try to fix the person's life for him. He has the total responsibility for his life. Don't allow him to try to pass that responsibility on to you.
4. Help him to trust in the Lord. Help him to increase the level of his faith and spirituality. Help him to connect with his Father in Heaven. Many people with these problems don't understand how to reconcile their faith in the Gospel with their feelings. For this reason, many end up leaving the Church. At times, they maintain a distance from God. But these people can also learn of the patience and the mercy that God has with us and about the process of repentance. They can learn how much and how our Heavenly Father truly loves us and helps us. I no longer judge others like I used to. I have learned much from my painful experiences.
5. Treat him the same way you do others. For example, be sure that he participates in the sports and other activities, even if he doesn't have great abilities in that area. In the future, nobody will remember who won or lost, but this person will always remember if he participated or if he was left out.
6. Give him support throughout the process. He needs support from his family, his leaders, his friends, a therapist, and a mutual support group.
7. Keep the shared information confidential. The trust that is generated is very important. A violation of this trust is the equivalent of a betrayal. And unfortunately, some people, when they learn about someone with a homosexual problem, distance themselves from such a person rather than offering him the social support that he needs.
8. There are now also many resources available: Church pamphlets, specialized books, Evergreen International and local and online support groups, conferences, articles, websites, etc.

AVAILABLE SUPPORT RESOURCES

Now there is much help available. For example:

Evergreen International website: http://Evergreen-Intl.Org
Evergreen International e-mail contact: Info@Evergreen-Intl.Org
Evergreen International telephone contact: (800)391-1000 or (801)363-3837
Evergreen of Dixie website: http://GeoCities.Com/EGDixie
Evergreen of Dixie e-mail contact: EGDixie@yahoo.com
Evergreen of Dixie telephone contact: (435)628-4033

Disciples2 online support group: http://SpringsOfWater.Com/desert/disciples2
Clean-LDS online support group: http://SpringsOfWater.Com/desert/clean
LDS SSA Resources (for SSA and sexual addiction): http://GeoCities.Com/LDS_SSA

Evergreen of Dixie has a local support group for male strugglers based in St. George. And the Cedar City office of LDS Family Services is sponsoring a Family & Friends group. For more information, call Robert Heaton at (435)586-4479 or e-mail him at fam-ut-cedarcity@ldschurch.org. And with the support of our area Church authorities, we plan to establish support groups for women and for young people. Feel free to contact us at EGDixie@yahoo.com if you would like to help make this happen.

The Board of Directors of Evergreen International always has a couple of General Authorities of the Church working with it, as Evergreen is the primordial organization for supporting Latter-day Saints with the resolution of these issues. Because of this, most area presidencies have received information about Evergreen's work and are supportive. In the case of Evergreen of Dixie, the area presidency approved the support of a sponsoring stake president for our efforts, and he arranged for our group to meet in a Church-owned building. For the greatest success, Evergreen requires its affiliated groups to have advisors who are not SSA strugglers themselves. Our sponsor has called a service missionary couple to serve as advisors for our group. These advisors attend our meetings, support and encourage the group members, act as liaisons with local Church leaders and the community, etc. To work with such groups, people don't need to be experts in the field of homosexuality, but they do need a firm testimony of the Gospel and of the Atonement and a love for God's children. We would be happy to hear from more people who would like to be involved in our efforts.

REGULAR SUPPORT AS A NECESSARY COMPONENT OF SUCCESS

Perhaps it would be good for me to comment here about a question that frequently comes up among local Church leaders about support groups of this type. The question goes like this: "If we gather together a group of men who are attracted to other men, won't that cause problems?" My short reply is that, if a person has a sexual addiction that causes him to act in undesirable ways, it is better that he has a support group to lean on for support and encouragement when he has problems instead of having to try to find the answers to his weaknesses all by himself.

Although bishops need to be involved in the transformation process, they often don't know a lot about this particular problem and they don't have enough time to be there every day for someone who is struggling. Support groups can meet these needs. And in our area, the philosophies of the world are creeping in and many people don't know that there are happier solutions. For example, so-called "gay Mormon" groups are trying to set up a support group for young people in this area using their worldly philosophies. And there is already a group of parents in St. George who attempt to show love to their "gay" children by accepting worldly philosophies on the subject that contradict what the prophets of God teach. The result of this is often the weakening of testimonies in entire families, not just in the strugglers.

RELATED CHALLENGES

There are a couple of other related issues we should mention here. Many men with homosexual attractions, both within and outside of the Church, come to have sexual addictions that cause them much grief and depression and kill their hope. Sometimes this even leads to suicide. It is a very difficult situation when a person has a testimony and a desire to do what is right and, at the same time, falls over and over again to temptations. Frequently, there are two problems needing solutions: the same-sex attraction as well as addictive sexual behavior. When you have a testimony of the Divine Plan, there is much hope, but this situation is complicated and people facing these challenges can often only see the path dimly. It becomes even more difficult in the case of people who have committed sins that distance them from the Spirit.

Another challenge related to these issues is that faced by Latter-day Saints who have contracted serious diseases, such as AIDS. I personally know several LDS and non-LDS people who are living with HIV, and three of my dear non-member friends have died young due to AIDS. It is very important that members of the Church follow the teachings of the prophets and support and help such people without prejudice.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

• By teaching the truths that are clearly taught by God's prophets about homosexuality and sexuality in general. By teaching that there is no need to feel shame about having weaknesses, if we seek the help of the Lord in overcoming them. And by teaching that hope and solutions do exist for this problem.
  
• By encouraging all members of the Church to not hide their personal weaknesses, but rather to look for members of the Church whom they can trust with the knowledge of their challenges. It is always a blessing to have friends who can understand and encourage you and with whom you can share your challenges.
  
• By learning more about the homosexual condition and about sexual addictions and their solutions in order to be able to provide counsel to your members that can be good help and good encouragement for them.
  
• By encouraging people with sexual problems to seek out specialized help based on the principles of the Gospel. This help can be found in professional therapy, specialized books on the subject, online and local support groups, and simply in a good friend who listens to you and gives you counsel about the real problems in daily life.
  
• By letting everybody know that there is specialized help available for these challenges, preferably in a way that allows people to obtain the information in a confidential way. We need to keep in mind that there are strugglers in every stake of the Church who will not go immediately to their ecclesiastical leaders for the help they need, due to fear of the consequences.
  
• By sponsoring Evergreen-style support groups or support groups for those dealing with sexual addictions.
  
• By asking Evergreen for help when it is needed.

I encourage you to speak of these topics with members of the Church in appropriate public forums. First, most people will learn more about these challenges and will then respond to strugglers with more Christian love. And also, people who have struggled alone with these things for years will speak with you or with other members of your stakes and in this way will find the help and the support that they really need.

People who experience same-sex attractions carry heavy burdens. Many have overcome and are overcoming great challenges, and I have a great deal of respect for them. The Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that each person has the ability to live the laws of morality that the Lord has given us. We can't always control the conflicts that we experience in life, but we can choose how we are going to respond to them.

I thank you for your attention and your caring. I pray most sincerely for the richest blessings of our Heavenly Father for you and for the Lord's sheep who are facing the challenges of same-sex attraction in faith. May they achieve their eternal potential and may they return to their Heavenly Home with all of us.

I share this with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

For more information or replies to your questions, feel free to write or call:

Info@Evergreen-Intl.Org
(800)391-1000

We will happily respond to any question or issue you may have.
And we invite you to share this information with any interested person.

MAY GOD BLESS HIS SHEEP
AND THOSE WHO CARE FOR THEM!

Elements Needed for Healing from Same-Sex Attraction

1. Desire, determination, and efforts of the individual to change

• Attendance at Church meetings, personal prayer, fasting, as much participation at Church as possible.
• Reading of books and other available literature on the subject, for example the General Conference talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks in October 1995, "Same-Gender Attraction," Ensign, November 1995.
• Petitioning the Lord in prayer to apply the Atonement in one's life.
• Professional therapy, if it is available, from a therapist who will help the person to make desired changes.
• Forgiveness of one's own missteps. Getting up and continuing on after any falls. The way back takes time.
• Focus on not acting out sexually with others and on avoiding masturbation and pornography. Restriction of the time or the situation of Internet usage, if that is a problem.
• The realization that our sins are forgivable and that God continues to love us. (In some cases, it will be necessary to resolve issues of self-loathing.)
• Never give up…even if it takes years.

2. Increase of support from the family

• It is important to avoid judging and to accept the struggler. His homosexuality doesn't define him and can be changed.
• Love that is unconditional. It is important that the person feels this, because he will often feel much shame and self-loathing and may want to isolate himself from others.
• The person needs to relate in a healthy way with others of his gender in regular informal activities. This is the result of feelings of deficiency in one's gender roles.
• Never give up…even if it takes years.

3. Increase of support from Church leaders

• Regular interviews with the struggler to maintain accepting, open communication.
• Fulfillment of appointments and promises. The struggler will depend on you for support and acceptance.
• Genuine and unconditional love.
• Forgiveness in the manner of Christ's forgiveness.
• The leader should not try to be a therapist, but rather to provide inspired support. Healthy relationships with people of the same sex are missing in the life of the struggler. The leader can also serve as a mentor.
• Have confidence in the person, and keep all confidences. There is nothing that can destroy a relationship of trust faster than a breach of confidentiality.
• Never give up…even if it takes years.

4. Good therapy

• Preferably with a therapist who has experience in helping clients to leave homosexuality (reparative therapy). Caution: Most therapists these days have accepted gay-affirmative philosophies. This means that they will help someone to feel comfortable as he is and to accept himself as such. They try to eliminate feelings of guilt and self-loathing without changing the SSA behavior. The kind of therapists needed are those who will help a struggler to change his homosexual orientation to a heterosexual one.
• With a therapist who is willing to "connect" with the client and take an interest in him and in his progress.

5. The grace of God and the Atonement of Jesus Christ

• Remember, miracles do happen. The way back can be long, and there will be falls, but thousands of Latter-day Saints testify that this goal can be achieved.
• The Atonement of Christ is there for everyone who desires to take advantage of that blessing.
• Patience… Everything happens on the timetable of the Lord, not necessarily according to our plans.

Myths that Exist among Members of the Church
about Same-Sex Attraction

Various myths exist among members of the Church regarding those who experience attractions toward members of their same gender…

1. Homosexuals choose to be that way.
   With very few exceptions, they do not choose homosexuality. People who have experienced these feelings ask, "Who would do that? It is too painful." The problem is that many people still don't know they need to separate the orientation (or the tendency) from the behaviors, which can certainly be controlled.
2. Most homosexuals are 20-something young men.
   We need to avoid the tendency to focus only on recently returned missionaries. We know people of both sexes and all ages who are looking for solutions to these challenges.
3. They cannot change.
   There is in this condition no biological imperative that cannot be overcome. This is probably the most insidious lie of our modern culture on the subject. Even pro-gay psychologists don't claim that no change is possible.
4. Same-sex attracted members of the Church should preferably not receive callings where they have much contact with those of their same gender.
   Same-sex attraction is a disorder of defective relationships with members of the same sex. A person with homosexual feelings learns to act and feel appropriately by having healthy, exemplary relationships with others of his same sex.
5. "Wouldn't it be better to keep all of this private?"
   No, we need to face this issue in the Church! How are the people facing these challenges going to find help and support if we don't? We cannot keep our mouths shut while the rest of the world is spreading Satanic lies about this subject and leading the children of God astray.