Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

George W Bush:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Saddam Hussien:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ralph Nader:

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Jerry Falwell:

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

Ernest Hemingway:

To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

John Lennon:

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Karl Marx:

It was a historical inevitability.

Captain Kirk:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Sigmund Freud:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Clinton:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Colonel Sanders:

I missed one?