The Good Old Hockey Game...

Red Wing Goalie Chris Osgood was so depressed after blowing a 6-0 lead that he jumped in front of the Detroit team bus - but it went right through his legs.

What do the Detroit Red Wings and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!!

Why are the Wings like the Post office?
Because they both wear uniforms and don't deliver.

What do the Wings and Austin Powers have in common?
Nothing...Austin knows how to score.

What do the Wings and the Tigers have in common?
Neither can play hockey.

The man said, "My dog watches all the Red Wings games on TV. Everytime they lose, he lies down and cried his eyes out." His friend says, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?" The man replied, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."

Four hockey fans are climbing a mountain together, one is a St. Louis fan, one is a Montreal fan, one is a Detroit fan and one is a Toronto fan. As they climb, they argue about whose team is the best and who is the biggest fan. When they get to the top of the mountain, the St Louis fan says that he will prove that he's the biggest fan, so he runs and jumps off the side of the mountain, shouting "This is for St Louis!" as he falls. Not to be outdone, the Montreal fan follows suit, yelling "This is for the Habs!" as he falls. After the Montreal fan has become silenced, the Detroit and the Toronto fan glare at each other. Then the Toronto fan pushes the Detroit fan off the side of the mountain, proclaiming "this is for the good of hockey fans everywhere!"

Two men, both Detroit Red Wings fans died and were sent down to hell. When they arrived there, the Devil decided to see how they were suffering in hell and found them both having a barbecue and enjoying themselves greatly.
"What's wrong with you?" asked the Devil, "You're supposed to be suffering in the heat down here!"
Replied one of the Detroit fans, "We're from Detroit...it's damn cold there for most of the year, so we're just enjoying the heat."
Angry, the Devil decided to turn up the heat even more. He returned to find the Detroit fans enjoying every minute of the heat. Even more frustrated, the Devil decided to turn up the heat as far as it would go. He was sure that would make the Detroit fans suffer but instead he returned to find them sunbathing.
"What will it take to make these people suffer?!" thought the Devil. "Wait, I know. Since they don't mind the heat, maybe the cold will get to them." So the Devil turned off the heat, and hell began to get colder and colder. Positive that the cold would be the end of the Detroit fans' happiness he went to see them and to gloat. Much to his shock, he found that they were jumping around, popping the champagne and celebrating.
"What is wrong with you people?!" exclaimed the Devil. "It's freezing cold in here and you're celebrating! For what?"
"The Wings just won the cup!" replied the fans.
"How do you know that?" asked the Devil.
"Hell finally froze over!"

A Toronto Maple Leaf fan, a Red Wings fan and a Boston Bruins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of the sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Boston Bruin fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Boston Bruin fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Red Wings fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Detroit fan crying.
The Toronto Maple Leafs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your most Royal highness", the Leafs fan replies.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.
"Tie the Red Wings fan to my back."

Albert Einstein arrives at a dinner party. He introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "51."
Albert responds, "How 'bout them Wings?"