Things to Ponder
If practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, why practice?
What cruel person put an "s" in "Lisp?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
Do fish get cramps after eating?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?
Tell a man that there are 400 Billion stars and he'll believe you, Tell him a bench has wet paint and he still has to touch it!
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients BUT dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?