Fun Things to do When Telemarketers Call

* Talk really fast.

* Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static.

* Make up your own language. Speak it. like say "wwwwwoooooooommbbbbbaer goyyyrkk ggggrrrrrrr"

* Make up a one word language. Speak it. "yadda yadda yadda"

* Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?"

* If they say "Yes" to the previous one say, "Please state the nature of the emergency." Then insist that their emergency isn't an emergency. Hang up.

* If they say "No" say, "I'm sorry but this line is for emergencies only." Hang up.

* Pretend you just took hostages, and make demands.

* Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.

* Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.

* Pretend that your phone line is an automatic phone sex line.

* Dial the phone and say, "Hey! I lent you 50 bucks. You better pay up or else I'm gonna come over there and hurt you! "

* Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.

* Claim to be the mafia.

* Say, "Moe's tavern Moe speaking."

* Say something that Moe would say to Bart after Bart makes a prank call.

* Ask him/her if he/she would like a magazine or newspaper subscription.

* Ask the telemarketer to find your friend Mike last name Rotch. Claim you will only buy a subscription from them.

* Dial *69. Wait about a minute and say, "Damn unreliable *69."

* Speak a foreign language.

* If you do the previous one and the telemarketer gets a person who speaks the language you used, speak another language, use a made up language, or say that you were speaking English the whole time.

* Communicate only through Morse code.

* Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.

* Try to sell the telemarketer something.

* Act drunk. Slur.

* Turn on your shower. Say that you are on a portable phone and are really late for an important meeting. Scream as though you were electrocuted.

* Ask if he/she has been to Australia. Regardless of his/her answer ask if you can buy a boomerang and didgeridoo.

* Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, "They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.

* Make him/her dance for a sale. Claim that you won't buy because you couldn't see him/her dance.

* Make him/her sing to get a sale. If a male sings, claim that he sounds like Brittany Spears. If a female sings, claim that she sounds like Barry White.

* Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."

* Engage him/her in an "intellectual" conversation on an extremely boring subject.

* Say nothing until he/she hangs up.

* Say, "I told you. I don't know where your dog is!" Then hang up.

* Keep crackers near the phone. When a telemarketer calls eat the crackers. Chew loudly, make slurping noises, and talk with your mouth full. If you want pretend that you are choking.

* Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.

* If he/she is selling a newspaper or magazine, go on and on about how great another newspaper/magazine is.

* Pretend you are a telemarketer from a rival company. Get him/her to buy your product.

* Say, "Yes" immediately to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.