10 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
4.5 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
1.7 above - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
ZERO - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
-6.6 - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
-9.4 - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
-17.7 -New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
-23.3 - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.
-28.8 - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
-40 - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.
-51.1 - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.
-62.2 - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-73.3 - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-113.8 - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-182.7 - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273.3 - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"