TRACY LYNN'S STORY
What can I say about a girl who lived a short eighteen years? I CAN tell you her name is Tracy Lynn, that she
is Beautiful, Loving and Kind...That her eyes danced when she smiled. Oh! That smile! She could melt the coldest heart with her smile!
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I CAN tell you that in her short life, she accomplished more than I, her mom, have in 47 years. She was Homecoming Princess, Class Representative for four years, attended yearbook camp as a junior, and won the award for "Best Layout Design". Tracy was editor of the school yearbook in her junior year, and co-editor as a senior. In her senior year, she was elected class favorite, and she went to UIL Competition in "Feature Writing". Trace played basketball for 6 years, despite having severe asthma. I can tell you she had just graduated from high school, had a job, and only a few months left before completing Cosmetology School.
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I CAN tell you that her dad and I love her so much, that there isn't a word strong enough in the dictionary, to express that love. I CAN also say the pain from missing her is as strong as the love we have for her. I CAN tell you that she is my best friend, and that we share the same heart. I CAN tell you that because of the impression Tracy Lynn left on those whose lives she touched, all have chosen to continue to keep her alive in their hearts and minds.
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What I CAN'T tell you is what happened on that hot, July 1st night, that stole my beautiful daughter away from me. "Her car left the road......", was all they could say. I CAN'T tell you the "games" I play in my mind in order to "get through" some days, and most nights....but then, I'm sure you all play the same games. The rules we make up as we go along. After all...they are OUR games. I would LIKE to tell you that when I go to Tracy's "SPOT", that I don't feel a stab to my heart, and hot tears burning my eyes, but I CAN'T. What's worse is I CAN'T tell you WHY such a BEAUTIFUL Life ended.
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When it is all said and done, what I CAN or even what I CAN'T tell you of the whys and hows, seems so unimportant. WE have, as you all have, learned to "Endure" the present torment, no matter the cause or reason. We have been left with only memories...beautiful, but stinging memories that no one can or will ever take away.
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Although our days and years are filled with false happiness and dreams that will never come true, the Greatest joy I now have, would be for someone to look into my eyes, and see MY Beautiful Tracy Lynn's Soul.
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In closing, I WILL say that each day we are left on this earth, we are one day closer to being once again, "Whole" with my Tracy, and each of your beautiful kids, in Heaven.
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The above was written by Tracy's mom, Sharmaine for the "Alive Alone" newsletter. A non-profit orginization for parents that have lost their only or all children.