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HERALD Columnist |
It seems everyone has an opinion about population in the Foss house. My friend Rose, upon inspecting five-year-old Patrick’s handwriting practice all over my walls, clicked her teeth against her tongue and said, "No more children, Elizabeth. That’s enough work, cleaning up after these." This comment made me flinch. Truth be told, I am constantly battling my pride, wishing that my house looked more like Better Homes and Gardens and less like a cross between Ranger Rick, Sports Illustrated, and Homeschooling Today.
I related the story to my friend Michele, who is expecting her seventh baby. "Imagine that," she mused "no more babies just because of a little crayon on the wall. A little Goo-Gone, it wipes clean. And they grow so fast. My best wall illustrator is fourteen and hasn’t thought about hieroglyphics in quite some time."
It does go so fast. The whining passes and so do the temper tantrums. The crayon drawings become watercolor paintings. The diapers give way to training pants and then to Mickey Mouse underwear. And the privileged moments, snuggled with a nursing baby under flannel sheets on a rainy morning, his breath soft and sweet, are all too fleeting.
More unsolicited advice came my way when a friend learned of yet another postpartum complication. "God is definitely telling you not to have another baby." This comment made me angry. We live in a society where women rarely consider the will of God concerning childbearing. They consider house plans and career plans. They consider the ideal age spread between siblings. They consider whether they can "sacrifice" their bodies for another nine months. Then they conceive babies in windows created by breaks from artificial birth control which they have used routinely, proud to be acting politically correctly. The flippant spirituality in her comment stung more than she will ever understand. I am listening to God and I would appreciate her silence so that I can hear Him.
We are stewards of our bodies and we are entrusted to use them for God’s glory. There is a real fear and aversion in our society of looking or feeling as if one has had a baby. It is as if there is some shame in being a little rounder, a little softer, a little wearier. The fact is, there is not a woman in the world whose body is as it was before having children. There are scores of women with sagging breasts, wider hips, varicose veins, cesarean scars, worry lines, laugh lines, and countless other physical reminders that they have offered their bodies as living sacrifices.
There is a difference between worshipping one’s body and protecting
it as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Good stewardship requires us to eat
wisely, to exercise, and to rest. It also requires us to offer our bodies
to God’s will when it might be inconvenient, uncomfortable, or even painful.
It is
the difference between the woman who works out two hours a day but
can’t imagine where she would find the time for another child and the woman
whose goal is to be fit and healthy in order to ensure healthier pregnancies
and an optimum energy level to serve her family.
The third comment was one I have heard since before our first was born. "Babies are so expensive." This one makes me laugh. I don’t find babies particularly expensive. Children, however, are another story. It does cost money to feed, clothe and educate them. In this country, however, very few people truly cannot afford to have another child. Money is a tool. It’s all God’s money. He is the provider. It would seem to me that we had better use God’s money to serve God’s purposes. To do otherwise is to steal from the Lord. And He has clearly forbidden stealing.
Perusing the Word of God, children are always a blessing. They are only blessings. Never does God curse someone with a baby. Why, as a society, are we so unwilling to accept the greatest of blessings? I think we are afraid. We are afraid to relinquish the notion that we control our pace, our bodies and our pursestrings. We don’t. God does. And he has a plan for all He has provided.
Poor stewardship is the sin of our society. It is the curse of the wealth and freedom of our country. We tend to look at our bodies much the same way we look at money. Both are tools, given to us by the Lord to be used to serve Him and we hold back. Americans live in a land of great wealth and great health. Still, we are selfish and stingy. We don’t want to be too tired, too heavily burdened, too inconvenienced. We are afraid of sacrifice. We want perfectly kept homes, perfectly sculpted bodies, and perfectly comfortable lives. Babies mess up our bodies and they mess up our houses. They require physical and financial sacrifice. But God, the creator of heaven and earth, the Lord of all, calls us to be generous, to be open to life in the culture of death. Then He blesses us with everything we need to answer that call.
Foss is a freelance writer from Northern Virginia.
Copyright ©1999 Arlington Catholic Herald, Inc. All rights reserved.
This article was published in the Arlington
Catholic Herald,
200 N. Glebe Rd., Suite 607, Arlington, VA 22203; Vol 24, No 45,
page 5, dated November 11, 1999.
.
E-mail:
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A note from the Web Master:
It is noteworthy and honorable that some folks are willing to stand up for a ban on Partial-Birth Abortion. Let us not forget that ordinary everyday run of the mill abortion is also murder. We must understand that aborting the life of a baby is murder no matter the method. Because one method of abortion seems to be horrible does not make the other methods less so. We should be horrified and sickened by any abortion regardless of the method. The Fifth Commandment spells it out clearly:
"Thou shalt not kill."
A fetus is a person, a human being with a God given soul.
Imagine the pain the Lord must feel when any abortion occurs. Please
contact both of your Senators and Representative, via letter or phone,
to let them know how horrified you are that abortions are legal and to
stop, once and for all, Partial-Birth abortions and all other abortions
as soon as possible.
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