ARLINGTON — Fifty-two years ago a baby girl was given up for adoption by her young mother. The woman was alone and had no other option but to give up her baby. She had tried for three years to provide for herself and her baby and she could not manage any longer. Her baby was quickly adopted, but the comforts this mother wanted for her child were to be destroyed by the abuse suffered in the adoptive home.

Now that baby is grown and she has never forgotten her beginnings. She was instrumental in starting a house for young mothers who had been abandoned or abused or just needed a place to go. She did not want these mothers to feel the same way her mother felt so many years ago and she did not want their children to go through the same experience she had. And so Elizabeth’s House in Arlington was born and that baby, Deanna Cobb, was one of its founders.

Borromeo Housing and its first project, Elizabeth’s House, are celebrating 10 years of operation this year. In 1988 several parishioners from St. Charles Borromeo Church in Arlington met in the basement of the church to find a way to help the homeless but it was not until Cobb came along that the project was given the direction of helping homeless young mothers.

"I knew as a child the pain of being separated from my mother and the abuse I experienced and I just wanted to touch people with love and healing," said Cobb. "I knew what this would take — an enormous amount of people and a lot of services."

The house can hold three families at a time with each family allowed to stay up to 18 months.  According to board member Rob Donovan, most women do not stay that long. He said the program is unique because of its focus on enabling the women to live on their own by providing case-workers, mentors, budgeting lessons and educational opportunities.

"We limit the stay from six to 18 months because we don’t want anyone to feel that this is an instant cure," said Donovan. "There are requirements to get through the program and we follow up by maintaining an individual connection in a social and professional way."

Patricia Donnelly, board president, said women are referred by area shelters and anyone working with the homeless. Each woman must go through an extensive application and interview process and each family is followed for one year after their departure from Elizabeth’s House.

Donnelly told those gathered at the 10th anniversary celebration that the group had just put in an offer on a second house and hopes to have a second facility in 1999.

"Our work has just begun," said Donnelly. "After 10 years, we are now sure it works and we need to expand."

Donnelly honored Cobb and Bill Crawford for their work with Borromeo Housing and the founding of Elizabeth’s House. Crawford, a local businessman, agreed to pay the rent and other
expenses at the house for several years until the program could sustain itself. Both Cobb and Crawford were presented with silver bowls, shaped like beggars’ bowls, a symbol of their work
with the poor.

Several of the graduates attended the celebration with their children serving as testimony to the program’s success. Patrice participated in Scattered Sites, an experimental program within Borromeo Housing which ran for two years. The program was geared toward someone like Patrice who had a college education and a job. She had been kicked out of her parent’s home because she became pregnant and already had a two-year old child. She refused to get an
abortion as her parents demanded. She was referred to Borromeo Housing where she found Cobb, who helped her find an apartment and provided her with one month’s rent and a counselor. Patrice is now married, working in property management and her children are six and four.

Patrice refers to Cobb as her "guardian angel," saying that she does not know where she would be today without Borromeo Housing.

Three years ago, Annette found herself pregnant and alone. Family members who lived in the area said they would only help her if she agreed to give her baby up for adoption.  Annette found her way to Catholic Charities, which referred her to Elizabeth’s House. She stayed for 18 months until she and her daughter were able to move into an apartment. Annette found quality child care while she worked as a property manager. She said she cannot begin to express her gratitude to Borromeo Housing.

"What they did for me is beyond words," she said. "They helped me find a career and an apartment and they encouraged me to do things for myself by pointing me in the right direction."

Annette is still involved in fundraising efforts for Borromeo Housing and she attends the annual barbecue and Christmas party, which reunites the graduates of Elizabeth’s House.

She has made and kept many friends through her experience with the program and said she will always feel part of that community.

Father Gerard Creedon, pastor of St. Charles Borromeo Parish, has lent his support to Borromeo Housing and serves as an adviser to the board. He recently reminded them there is a connection between the group and St. Charles, the archbishop of Milan in the late 16th century.  St. Charles used to feed and care for the poor with whatever money he had, even making clothing from the cloth used during church processions. He personally tended to the sick and dying and set up homeless shelters.

"It is wonderful to celebrate the 10th anniversary on the week of the feast of St. Charles Borromeo," said Father Creedon. "As pastor of the parish that has given its name to this project, I am proud of the support given by the people of St. Charles.

"I hope that as we acquire a new facility we will be able to double our service to children and mothers in difficult situations."

Cobb said that over the past 10 years the progress of the program and of each woman was always accomplished step by step. She and her colleagues tried to create a community which would embrace those who had never experienced love and care before. Cobb says that an integral part of this is the inclusion of the faith community. She always tries to put the women in touch with their parish or church no matter what their faith is and if a woman is Catholic, she
always makes sure the baby is baptized.

"This is important because we need to keep Jesus alive in this program," she said. "These women need to know that when they leave Borromeo Housing they will have another community of love
waiting for them."
 

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Copyright ©1998 Arlington Catholic Herald, Inc. All rights reserved.

This article was published in the Arlington Catholic Herald,
200 N. Glebe Rd., Suite 607, Arlington, VA 22203; Vol 23, No 45;
dated Nov 12, 1998, on page 11.
E-mail: letters@catholicherald.com
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It is noteworthy and honorable that some folks are willing to stand up for a ban on Partial-Birth Abortion.  Let us not forget that Abortion is also murder.  We must understand that murder is murder no matter the method.  Because one method of abortion seems to be horrible does not justify the other methods.  We should be horrified and sickened by any Abortion regardless of the method.  The Fifth Commandment spells it out clearly: "Thou shalt not kill."  A fetus is a person, a human being with a God given soul.  Imagine the pain the Lord must feel when any Abortion occurs.  Please contact both of your Senators and Representative, via letter or phone,  to let them know how horrified you are that Abortions are legal and to stop Partial-Birth Abortions and all other Abortions as soon as possible.

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