Life is not easy! It never has been and never will be. Remember the song, “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”? How true! We are not promised a rose garden existence. There will always be struggles—good times and bad--- sorrow and joy! I ought to know—I’ve been there! In the midst of trouble, no matter how difficult, there is a promise to claim and cling to. God promised that He would NEVER forsake us and He would be with us always! AND HE IS!!!
My parents divorced when I was small and I lived with my Mother, my Grandparents and my two brothers. There was a lot of love in our family and for that I am thankful! We believed that family was of the utmost importance. As a young adult, I became a Christian. I realized I was a sinner and that the Lord had died for me! I gave my heart to Him and made Him Lord of my Life. I didn't always follow the Lord as closely as I should, but I always loved Him with all my heart!
I married and started my own family. My marriage was very rocky but it did result in my two children, whom I love dearly. I struggled with the problems in my marriage; I went back to work and started a career and finally began to feel good about myself. I was active in my church and for the first time I thought that maybe things would be okay after all!
In 1988 my world was shattered when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At the time, I didn’t even know what Multiple Sclerosis was and here I was battling it! It was a difficult time as I attempted to adjust to the fact that my life had changed dramatically. My career was gone and I was no longer a healthy young woman--I was disabled! There were several hospitalizations for IV therapy because of severe excacerbations during the next few years. Sometimes I could walk with a cane, sometimes a walker, and occasionally I was forced to use a wheelchair. My Church family was always there to help out when things got really tough!
That same year my brother was diagnosed with leukemia and my baby neice had to undergo major surgery to correct a birth defect. It was an extremely hard time for my family! My marriage, rocky at best, disintegrated to a state of nothingness and we eventually separated. My husband could not deal with my illness. Now I was on my own, disabled, with two young children. I learned to lean even more on the Lord and on my Church family. I surely couldn't go it alone!
When my son was eight years old, he was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. At 10 years of age, he was hit by a car. He spent 30 days in the hospital in traction, 30 days in a body cast and hospital bed at home and the entire summer in Physical Therapy learning how to walk again. At one point he and I looked like twins with matching walkers. What a picture! It was a tough time, but with the Lord's help, we made it.
Life settled somewhat during the next few years. Things were tough and money was tight, but we always made it through! My husband decided he would no longer pay support for our children and he cut us off completely, leaving our sole income my meager disability payment. The money coming in does not cover the expenses, but somehow, we always make it—with God’s help.
Recently, my son started having grand mal seizures and slipped into “Status Epileptus” a very serious condition where you seize repeatedly and do not regain consiousness. He stopped breathing and was rushed to the emergency room by ambulance and things were touch and go for a while. Thankfully, he was stabilized and has recovered. The Lord is good! It’s a reminder of how fragile life is!
Now I am learning to be content where I am. I don't want to spend my days dreaming of what could have been. I don't have a lot, but I manage. My MS is progressing, but not rapidly, so I have time to adapt to my increasing disability. My life is a lot different than I planned, but I want to make the most of it. Most importantly, I want to be where the Lord wants me to be, and do what He wants me to do!
I am thankful for all the Lord has done for me—He has strengthened me, encouraged me, and brought me closer to Him. He is with me always! I wouldn’t trade that for anything! No matter what lies ahead, I know I don't have to travel the road alone! The Lord is with me always!!!
"The eternal God is thy refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms."
Deuteronomy 33:27
Let your light shine
Email me at gail_faries@hotmail.com
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